Anybody who does this is evil and needs serious help. The children have nothing to do with your relationship and you chose to enter into that relationship knowing your partner had children from a past partner so leave them out of your drama.....

That's just dispicable. It's not the children's fault.

I completely agree.

Going through the same with my sister and her oldest. My sister's new husband was jealous of the attention he was was getting, even when he was, like four at the time.

I hat eit when adults are SO childish they would deprive kids of something simple like love.

Are you famililar with someone in a relationship where this is a problem??

Children are constantly the ones who end up paying for the immaturity of adults.

It's pathetic.

xplnyrslf said:

Oh, I don't know.....like everywhere I freaking look! My stepmonster mistreated us horribly, freakin witch. I don't know if women do it more than men but I do know many women who compete with the other woman and punish the kids for nothing more than having been born to another woman. It's just dispicable. If any of my brothers and sisters tripped out like this, I wouldn't be a coward like some of my aunts and uncles were with my stepmonster and I would check them faster than a crook can pass a bad check

PurpleKnight said:

If you took a poll, most of us from broken homes have probably experienced this

i think lots of times it's unintentional. my mother's partner was the worst with it when i was younger. it took a while but finally my mother sort of stood up to her about it.

my stepmom also treats me poorly at times. but i'm sure if you asked her about it she wouldn't think that she was.


honestly, my experiences with this is what makes me so sketical about "blended families", marriage, divorce, and all that's in between.

Nothinbutjoy said:

Yeppers

My oldest 2... children of TR's and his 1st wife

call me mom and their biological mother by her 1st name

I have always treated them with great respect and love for they were ( are ) my husbands flesh and blood and incredible children deserving of unconditional love

It is not their fault that their alcohol and drug dazed mother ran out on them and treated them as noting more then show dogs most of their life

Her loss

all 4 of our children have been treated as well as I ( the mom and stepmom ) could possibly treat any child

both my parents remarried and both of my stepparents were complete and utter villains to me when i was a kid. my mom divorced one stepmonster years ago, though my dad is still married to my other stepmonster, who managed to squeeze out a kid and alienate my dad from me pretty much permanently. i guess everyone got what they wanted out of the deal, though the kicker is - last i heard, my stepmother had gone completely mental and my dad's just kinda stuck having to care for her.

i don't mean to be bitter, but...just desserts.

WElll...I'm going to give you another perspective. I'm a step parent. Married at age 28 to a husband with 18 and 15 yr old daughters. The pre existing family dynamics the 1st year, (if I hadn't become pregnant right away) would be terms for divorce. There's guilt over circumstances I had nothing to do with and resulting lack of "parenting". Along with a mother in law who was just as involved in the complexity.
It's easy enough with your own child to say..pick up your room, be home on time...do your homework. Can't do that with a stepchild who has adults excusing the bad behavior. To the point where, the oldest daughter who had college paid for, housing, monthly check...wasn't going to school at all....had a coke habit. Came by when dad was out of town to get $$ from me for "books".

SupaFunkyOrgangrinderSexy said:

co-

xplnyrslf said:

oh, you should TOTALLY be mean to your stepkids then.

my StepMum treated us really well as children... I would even go so far as to say my Brother and I were little monsters to her but she took it on the chin. now we're older now (28 and 30 respectively) things are quite different. neither of us are as close as we were to her, sadly. I'm much closer to the man my Mum married and his new wife I have quite a complex family situation when someone asks me "where's your family" I take a deep breathe lol...

Natisse said:

Nat I know EXACTLY what you mean. Complex? My mom's been married 4 times (including my dad) and my dad's been married three times (including my mom). I have 2 half siblings, although, all that matters to me is that they are my brother and sister.

My children through my husband's first marriage w/out the ceremony, are my two oldest children.

xplnyrslf, I COMPLETELY relate to what you are going through believe me. What I have done, and believe me, it has not been easy, is let my husband and his ex raise the two children they brought into the world. HOWEVER, I have made it PERFECTLY clear that when they are in the home that I help create and support, they will show respect to all that live there (myself included) or they may leave. Actually, that's what I tell all 4 of my kids


and a because sometimes you need one dealing w/ this type stuff.