NDRU said: luv4all7 said: If a guy offers to buy you a drink you don't owe him shit. What? He thinks your supposed to sleep with him cuz he's buying you drinks. Most guys know they're not gettin' lucky anyways.
If a guy wants to buy you stuff and you lead him on and act like somethings gonna come of it, when you know it's not, then thats wrong. If your honest with the guy and he still buys you stuff that's on him. As long as you're honest it's fine. But I had to explain to Allison that guys get a certain impression when you let them buy you drinks. They think there's a chance, at least. She doesn't do it anymore, but it was her choice once I told her what men think. I went out with some highschool friends to eat tonite. And we sat at the bar rite, and my friend Craig, who's gay, was hugging and kissing all over me. Now he's not flaming or anything, so to a stranger he prob woulda looked like my boyfriend. Do you know, some dude STILL came up and sat down next to me, and tried to talk shit??? Those kind of people are just wrong. I would let him buy me drinks all nite. Just so I could get up and then leave with my friend instead of him. | |
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luv4all7 said: NDRU said: As long as you're honest it's fine. But I had to explain to Allison that guys get a certain impression when you let them buy you drinks. They think there's a chance, at least. She doesn't do it anymore, but it was her choice once I told her what men think. I went out with some highschool friends to eat tonite. And we sat at the bar rite, and my friend Craig, who's gay, was hugging and kissing all over me. Now he's not flaming or anything, so to a stranger he prob woulda looked like my boyfriend. Do you know, some dude STILL came up and sat down next to me, and tried to talk shit??? Those kind of people are just wrong. I would let him buy me drinks all nite. Just so I could get up and then leave with my friend instead of him. yep those guys should just be drained of their cash on principle! Guys are unbelievable. My Legacy
http://prince.org/msg/8/192731 | |
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NDRU said: luv4all7 said: I went out with some highschool friends to eat tonite. And we sat at the bar rite, and my friend Craig, who's gay, was hugging and kissing all over me. Now he's not flaming or anything, so to a stranger he prob woulda looked like my boyfriend. Do you know, some dude STILL came up and sat down next to me, and tried to talk shit??? Those kind of people are just wrong. I would let him buy me drinks all nite. Just so I could get up and then leave with my friend instead of him. yep those guys should just be drained of their cash on principle! Guys are unbelievable. .....yes, yes they are. | |
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luv4all7 said: NDRU said: As long as you're honest it's fine. But I had to explain to Allison that guys get a certain impression when you let them buy you drinks. They think there's a chance, at least. She doesn't do it anymore, but it was her choice once I told her what men think. I went out with some highschool friends to eat tonite. And we sat at the bar rite, and my friend Craig, who's gay, was hugging and kissing all over me. Now he's not flaming or anything, so to a stranger he prob woulda looked like my boyfriend. Do you know, some dude STILL came up and sat down next to me, and tried to talk shit??? Those kind of people are just wrong. I would let him buy me drinks all nite. Just so I could get up and then leave with my friend instead of him. I was sitting with my boyfriend one night at a club and a guy walked up to me, grabbed my hand and said "I love you". I was like, "wtf??" Who does shit like that?? | |
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luv4all7 said: NDRU said: yep those guys should just be drained of their cash on principle! Guys are unbelievable. .....yes, yes they are. but, you know what? eventually some girl will be into him, so he learns that that shit works in the end. yech My Legacy
http://prince.org/msg/8/192731 | |
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luv4all7 said: NDRU said: As long as you're honest it's fine. But I had to explain to Allison that guys get a certain impression when you let them buy you drinks. They think there's a chance, at least. She doesn't do it anymore, but it was her choice once I told her what men think. I went out with some highschool friends to eat tonite. And we sat at the bar rite, and my friend Craig, who's gay, was hugging and kissing all over me. Now he's not flaming or anything, so to a stranger he prob woulda looked like my boyfriend. Do you know, some dude STILL came up and sat down next to me, and tried to talk shit??? Those kind of people are just wrong. I would let him buy me drinks all nite. Just so I could get up and then leave with my friend instead of him. When with friends that's fine, but young girls still need to be careful about that kind of thing if they're on their own or become detached from their group. In Bangkok, at least, and maybe I'm being a bit over the top, but I've even stressed this to my sister in law who's in her late 30s. A guy who's an asshole expecting something who pays for drinks all night and then the woman gets up just like that and leaves is not someone you want to mess around. | |
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JustErin said: luv4all7 said: I went out with some highschool friends to eat tonite. And we sat at the bar rite, and my friend Craig, who's gay, was hugging and kissing all over me. Now he's not flaming or anything, so to a stranger he prob woulda looked like my boyfriend. Do you know, some dude STILL came up and sat down next to me, and tried to talk shit??? Those kind of people are just wrong. I would let him buy me drinks all nite. Just so I could get up and then leave with my friend instead of him. I was sitting with my boyfriend one night at a club and a guy walked up to me, grabbed my hand and said "I love you". I was like, "wtf??" Who does shit like that?? UGH! | |
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JustErin said: luv4all7 said: I went out with some highschool friends to eat tonite. And we sat at the bar rite, and my friend Craig, who's gay, was hugging and kissing all over me. Now he's not flaming or anything, so to a stranger he prob woulda looked like my boyfriend. Do you know, some dude STILL came up and sat down next to me, and tried to talk shit??? Those kind of people are just wrong. I would let him buy me drinks all nite. Just so I could get up and then leave with my friend instead of him. I was sitting with my boyfriend one night at a club and a guy walked up to me, grabbed my hand and said "I love you". I was like, "wtf??" Who does shit like that?? I've been in that kind of situation, maybe not that bad, but guys basically letting my girlfriend know they're available. The best payback is to not be threatened at all, though, and take her home. My Legacy
http://prince.org/msg/8/192731 | |
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Fauxie said: luv4all7 said: I went out with some highschool friends to eat tonite. And we sat at the bar rite, and my friend Craig, who's gay, was hugging and kissing all over me. Now he's not flaming or anything, so to a stranger he prob woulda looked like my boyfriend. Do you know, some dude STILL came up and sat down next to me, and tried to talk shit??? Those kind of people are just wrong. I would let him buy me drinks all nite. Just so I could get up and then leave with my friend instead of him. When with friends that's fine, but young girls still need to be careful about that kind of thing if they're on their own or become detached from their group. In Bangkok, at least, and maybe I'm being a bit over the top, but I've even stressed this to my sister in law who's in her late 30s. A guy who's an asshole expecting something who pays for drinks all night and then the woman gets up just like that and leaves is not someone you want to mess around. Yes, this is true and not only in Bangkok. I've had scary experiences, just like I'm sure every other girl here has. It's very common. | |
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JustErin said: luv4all7 said: I went out with some highschool friends to eat tonite. And we sat at the bar rite, and my friend Craig, who's gay, was hugging and kissing all over me. Now he's not flaming or anything, so to a stranger he prob woulda looked like my boyfriend. Do you know, some dude STILL came up and sat down next to me, and tried to talk shit??? Those kind of people are just wrong. I would let him buy me drinks all nite. Just so I could get up and then leave with my friend instead of him. I was sitting with my boyfriend one night at a club and a guy walked up to me, grabbed my hand and said "I love you". I was like, "wtf??" Who does shit like that?? It's happened to me before too...one time I was in my car with my boyfriend and some guy was shouting stuff at me from another car...I felt so bad for my guy...he didn't want to start anything, but at the same time wanted to stand up to the guy. It's a really crappy situation. | |
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Fauxie said: luv4all7 said: I went out with some highschool friends to eat tonite. And we sat at the bar rite, and my friend Craig, who's gay, was hugging and kissing all over me. Now he's not flaming or anything, so to a stranger he prob woulda looked like my boyfriend. Do you know, some dude STILL came up and sat down next to me, and tried to talk shit??? Those kind of people are just wrong. I would let him buy me drinks all nite. Just so I could get up and then leave with my friend instead of him. When with friends that's fine, but young girls still need to be careful about that kind of thing if they're on their own or become detached from their group. In Bangkok, at least, and maybe I'm being a bit over the top, but I've even stressed this to my sister in law who's in her late 30s. A guy who's an asshole expecting something who pays for drinks all night and then the woman gets up just like that and leaves is not someone you want to mess around. That's why you don't spend the whole night with them. Get your drink and move on right away. | |
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JustErin said: luv4all7 said: I went out with some highschool friends to eat tonite. And we sat at the bar rite, and my friend Craig, who's gay, was hugging and kissing all over me. Now he's not flaming or anything, so to a stranger he prob woulda looked like my boyfriend. Do you know, some dude STILL came up and sat down next to me, and tried to talk shit??? Those kind of people are just wrong. I would let him buy me drinks all nite. Just so I could get up and then leave with my friend instead of him. I was sitting with my boyfriend one night at a club and a guy walked up to me, grabbed my hand and said "I love you". I was like, "wtf??" Who does shit like that?? That's fucked up. I remember once taking a trip down to the islands. Mon and I had recently hung out with this English guy staying at the guesthouse and we all agreed to go down together. He seemed like a cool guy, but the first day we were there he started getting all touchy feely with Mon, putting his arm on her shoulder a little too much, touching her arm and stuff, even round her waist. Koh Phangan was absolutely packed at the time for the full moon party so we'd had to get a room for all of us (what was I thinking??? we'd only known him a few days), so I told him I'd had enough and he had to go and find another place to stay, and that was that. What makes someone not just an asshole but so bold and precocious like that?? | |
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Fauxie said: JustErin said: I was sitting with my boyfriend one night at a club and a guy walked up to me, grabbed my hand and said "I love you". I was like, "wtf??" Who does shit like that?? That's fucked up. I remember once taking a trip down to the islands. Mon and I had recently hung out with this English guy staying at the guesthouse and we all agreed to go down together. He seemed like a cool guy, but the first day we were there he started getting all touchy feely with Mon, putting his arm on her shoulder a little too much, touching her arm and stuff, even round her waist. Koh Phangan was absolutely packed at the time for the full moon party so we'd had to get a room for all of us (what was I thinking??? we'd only known him a few days), so I told him I'd had enough and he had to go and find another place to stay, and that was that. What makes someone not just an asshole but so bold and precocious like that?? We don't say precocious in America fauxie. | |
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I don't get it. They totally risk getting smashed in the face. I mean, they have no idea what kind of person the boyfriend might be. They could easily get the shit kicked out of them if the bf was the type to do that kinda thing. | |
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JustErin said: I don't get it. They totally risk getting smashed in the face. I mean, they have no idea what kind of person the boyfriend might be. They could easily get the shit kicked out of them if the bf was the type to do that kinda thing.
Yes. How comes they always kick the chic outta the bar with the deranged boyfriend? Like, what did she do? | |
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luv4all7 said: Fauxie said: That's fucked up. I remember once taking a trip down to the islands. Mon and I had recently hung out with this English guy staying at the guesthouse and we all agreed to go down together. He seemed like a cool guy, but the first day we were there he started getting all touchy feely with Mon, putting his arm on her shoulder a little too much, touching her arm and stuff, even round her waist. Koh Phangan was absolutely packed at the time for the full moon party so we'd had to get a room for all of us (what was I thinking??? we'd only known him a few days), so I told him I'd had enough and he had to go and find another place to stay, and that was that. What makes someone not just an asshole but so bold and precocious like that?? We don't say precocious in America fauxie. What do you say then? I just spoke to Mon about it and I can't believe we even entertained getting a room with this guy, as jam packed as the island was. Thankfully we booted him out that first day, but looking back it was crazy. He was around my age, English also, and just seemed like an ok guy, similar to myself in interests and background. Turned out to be creepy and very audacious (do you use that word?). | |
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luv4all7 said: JustErin said: I don't get it. They totally risk getting smashed in the face. I mean, they have no idea what kind of person the boyfriend might be. They could easily get the shit kicked out of them if the bf was the type to do that kinda thing.
Yes. How comes they always kick the chic outta the bar with the deranged boyfriend? Like, what did she do? Guilty by association. | |
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luv4all7 said: JustErin said: I don't get it. They totally risk getting smashed in the face. I mean, they have no idea what kind of person the boyfriend might be. They could easily get the shit kicked out of them if the bf was the type to do that kinda thing.
Yes. How comes they always kick the chic outta the bar with the deranged boyfriend? Like, what did she do? I played a bar on Saturday night, and there were 2 fights--both women who felt some other woman was hitting on their (none too desirable) men. What a shitty dive! They had to be about the ugliest, weirdest, drunkest people there, and nobody was hitting on anyone. My Legacy
http://prince.org/msg/8/192731 | |
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JustErin said: I don't get it. They totally risk getting smashed in the face. I mean, they have no idea what kind of person the boyfriend might be. They could easily get the shit kicked out of them if the bf was the type to do that kinda thing.
What kinda bf would you want? As in how they handle that? In my case I was really very pissed, but I'm not the kind to start throwing punches. For one I didn't fancy ending up in the cells, and two I figured if he said he wouldn't leave then we just would. | |
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JustErin said: I don't get it. They totally risk getting smashed in the face. I mean, they have no idea what kind of person the boyfriend might be. They could easily get the shit kicked out of them if the bf was the type to do that kinda thing.
Exactly. And what kind of woman would even get involved with a guy who would kick the shit out of another person. | |
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NDRU said: luv4all7 said: .....yes, yes they are. but, you know what? eventually some girl will be into him, so he learns that that shit works in the end. yech True. Millions and millions of women love guys like that. | |
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Fauxie said: JustErin said: I don't get it. They totally risk getting smashed in the face. I mean, they have no idea what kind of person the boyfriend might be. They could easily get the shit kicked out of them if the bf was the type to do that kinda thing.
What kinda bf would you want? As in how they handle that? In my case I was really very pissed, but I'm not the kind to start throwing punches. For one I didn't fancy ending up in the cells, and two I figured if he said he wouldn't leave then we just would. This boyfriend gave him a look and then laughed it off when he moved on. That's the way I would prefer a guy to handle it. One that would only react when there was a real threat. But I did date a guy that would flip out if guys even just looked my way a little too long. You know, the type that would go up to them and ask them what they were looking at, all puffed up and shit. It was so embarrassing. [Edited 11/13/06 21:57pm] | |
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JustErin said: Fauxie said: What kinda bf would you want? As in how they handle that? In my case I was really very pissed, but I'm not the kind to start throwing punches. For one I didn't fancy ending up in the cells, and two I figured if he said he wouldn't leave then we just would. This boyfriend gave him a look and then laughed it off when he moved on. That's the way I would prefer a guy to handle it. One that would only react when there was a real threat. But I did date a guy that would flip out if guys even just looked my way a little too long. You know, the type that would go up to them and ask them what they were looking at, all puffed up and shit. It was so embarrassing. [Edited 11/13/06 21:57pm] Unless there's a genuine threat to your safety it seems silly to get all riled up over some hapless fool making advances or just a guy having a perv. I honestly don't think I'd be much use if it absolutely had to come to blows, but I've never been in that situation or anything close to it. I'll always just move away or go to another bar or pub if anything really bothers Mon or myself. Last thing I want when going out for a good time is to have some drama like that, but I have known people who almost go out purely to get into fights. wtf? | |
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Fauxie said: JustErin said: This boyfriend gave him a look and then laughed it off when he moved on. That's the way I would prefer a guy to handle it. One that would only react when there was a real threat. But I did date a guy that would flip out if guys even just looked my way a little too long. You know, the type that would go up to them and ask them what they were looking at, all puffed up and shit. It was so embarrassing. [Edited 11/13/06 21:57pm] Unless there's a genuine threat to your safety it seems silly to get all riled up over some hapless fool making advances or just a guy having a perv. I honestly don't think I'd be much use if it absolutely had to come to blows, but I've never been in that situation or anything close to it. I'll always just move away or go to another bar or pub if anything really bothers Mon or myself. Last thing I want when going out for a good time is to have some drama like that, but I have known people who almost go out purely to get into fights. wtf? Rite! G A Y I think any girl would prefer the guy who is grown up about the situation and lets it go and laughs it off. | |
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luv4all7 said: Fauxie said: Unless there's a genuine threat to your safety it seems silly to get all riled up over some hapless fool making advances or just a guy having a perv. I honestly don't think I'd be much use if it absolutely had to come to blows, but I've never been in that situation or anything close to it. I'll always just move away or go to another bar or pub if anything really bothers Mon or myself. Last thing I want when going out for a good time is to have some drama like that, but I have known people who almost go out purely to get into fights. wtf? Rite! G A Y I think any girl would prefer the guy who is grown up about the situation and lets it go and laughs it off. Exactly. Nothing turns me off more than a guy that considers himself a real toughguy that is ready and wanting to get into fights all the time...especially when I am out with him. I like 'em rough, but not that rough. | |
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luv4all7 said: Fauxie said: Unless there's a genuine threat to your safety it seems silly to get all riled up over some hapless fool making advances or just a guy having a perv. I honestly don't think I'd be much use if it absolutely had to come to blows, but I've never been in that situation or anything close to it. I'll always just move away or go to another bar or pub if anything really bothers Mon or myself. Last thing I want when going out for a good time is to have some drama like that, but I have known people who almost go out purely to get into fights. wtf? Rite! G A Y I think any girl would prefer the guy who is grown up about the situation and lets it go and laughs it off. I've never been in a fight in a bar or squared up with anyone there. I don't know how I would react, but I don't think it's by concidence that I've never been in such a situation. I know my wife sees me as the head of this family in some respects and I see it more as my role to keep us away from danger and confrontations like that - which I believe is really what leads to someone feeling safe and protected - rather than being able to vanquish foes in dicey bar brawls like some self-proclaimed champion cave man protector. Well done, you just won a fight you likely didn't even need to have, probably scared the shit out of lots of folks out trying to have a good time (not to mention your gf/wife), pissed off the bar owner and staff, and more than likely got yourself kicked out and ruined your night. . [Edited 11/13/06 22:17pm] | |
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Fauxie said: luv4all7 said: Rite! G A Y I think any girl would prefer the guy who is grown up about the situation and lets it go and laughs it off. I've never been in a fight in a bar or squared up with anyone there. I don't know how I would react, but I don't think it's by concidence that I've never been in such a situation. I know my wife sees me as the head of this family in some respects and I see it more as my role to keep us away from danger and confrontations like that - which I believe is really what leads to someone feeling safe and protected - rather than being able to vanquish foes in dicey bar brawls like some self-proclaimed champion cave man protector. Well done, you just won a fight you likely didn't even need to have, probably scared the shit out of lots of folks out trying to have a good time (not to mention your gf/wife), pissed off the bar owner and staff, and more than likely got yourself kicked out and ruined your night. . [Edited 11/13/06 22:17pm] It's not a man's role to be the head of the family and to keep everyone away from danger and make them feel protected. But you are smart to not get into fights. It's just stupid. | |
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Spats said: Fauxie said: I've never been in a fight in a bar or squared up with anyone there. I don't know how I would react, but I don't think it's by concidence that I've never been in such a situation. I know my wife sees me as the head of this family in some respects and I see it more as my role to keep us away from danger and confrontations like that - which I believe is really what leads to someone feeling safe and protected - rather than being able to vanquish foes in dicey bar brawls like some self-proclaimed champion cave man protector. Well done, you just won a fight you likely didn't even need to have, probably scared the shit out of lots of folks out trying to have a good time (not to mention your gf/wife), pissed off the bar owner and staff, and more than likely got yourself kicked out and ruined your night. . [Edited 11/13/06 22:17pm] It's not a man's role to be the head of the family and to keep everyone away from danger and make them feel protected. But you are smart to not get into fights. It's just stupid. So what is it then, in your mind? Men and women can and should be equals in many ways, but they are definitely not the same. Forget even just men and women, but throw in same sex relationships too. Equality is a great thing, but people are different and bring different things to the table. I see the things I stated above as part of my role as a man in my situation. If I didn't do those things I'd be neglecting the people I love and failing as a husband, and (hopefully) in future, a father, not to mention my role as a godfather, uncle, son and every single way I interact with people around me as a man. | |
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Fauxie said: Spats said: It's not a man's role to be the head of the family and to keep everyone away from danger and make them feel protected. But you are smart to not get into fights. It's just stupid. So what is it then, in your mind? Men and women can and should be equals in many ways, but they are definitely not the same. Forget even just men and women, but throw in same sex relationships too. Equality is a great thing, but people are different and bring different things to the table. I see the things I stated above as part of my role as a man in my situation. If I didn't do those things I'd be neglecting the people I love and failing as a husband, and (hopefully) in future, a father, not to mention my role as a godfather, uncle, son and every single way I interact with people around me as a man. I don't believe men should have a specific role. I don't believe in gender roles and i don't want a woman who does either. I Don't believe in "the man should be responsible for this, yadda, yadda." You are not a lion. It's 2006, not 1950 or the caveman days. Women can and should take care of themselves. It's not a man's job to protect a woman. | |
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