A guy is driving around and he sees a sign in front of a house:
"Talking Dog for Sale " He rings the bell and the owner tells
him the dog is in the backyard.

The guy goes into the backyard and sees a Labrador retriever
sitting there. "You talk?" he asks. "Yep," the Lab replies.

"So, what's your story?"

The Lab looks up and says, "Well, I discovered that I could talk
when I was pretty young. I wanted to help the government, so I
told the CIA about my gift, and in no time at all they had me
jetting from country to country, sitting in rooms with spies and
world leaders, because no one figured a dog would be
eavesdropping. I was one of their most valuable spies for eight
years running."

"But the jetting around really tired me out, and I knew I wasn't
getting any younger so I decided to settle down. I signed up for
a job at the airport to do some undercover security wandering
near suspicious characters and listening in."

"I uncovered some incredible dealings and was awarded a
batch of medals.

Got married, had a mess of puppies and now I'm just retired."

The guy is amazed. He goes back in and asks the owner
what he wants for the dog.

"Ten dollars," the guy says. "Ten dollars?" This dog is amazing.

Why on earth are you selling him so cheap?"

"Because he's a liar. He never did any of that s**t."

Nice

I didn't see that coming.