Tawny Kitaen busted with 15 grams of coke
and is off to rehab. Maybe she'll be with Tara Conner.

You're Tara Conner's biggest fucking fan, ever.

Calm down. Miss USA isn't even that important. She'll probably end up a stripper or some shit.
[Edited 12/19/06 18:47pm]

CortestheKiller said:

No Im not ...its just so stupid how everything is not even close to how it actually is.

But yeh it would be cool if she had to become a stripper etc.

origmnd said:

That's what I'm sayin'!

origmnd said:

wasn't she on the surreal life and has a teenage daughter or some such thing?

She was an odd one. She looked good for her age but it seemed like she didn't want to realize that she was no longer that girl from the whitesnake video.

origmnd said:

I went to high school with her. She has no brain (typical stereotype of contestants in such, but it's true in this case), a loud mouth, big time daddy-issues, and she's naturally flatter than I am. And then there's the whole, "I like to bring alcohol to school in coke bottles and I get busted for it and sent off to alternative school for a year, but they don't really background check for shit like that" kind of thing.



Stripper. With a constant case of crabs.

For god's sake, she was asked once how you can tell the sex of a child that's just been born in a psych class and she answered "the heartbeat."

CortestheKiller said:

CortestheKiller said:

That's why she listed "Telling the sex of a child by its heartbeat" next to "World peace".

Ace said:

Yeah, and now you know the story!

I swear... I think I hit my head on the desk. We'd been taking this psych class in the KTLN room for college credit, and the dumbass gets asked that shit... She's called in, the little camera zooms in on her so the professor can see her talk and shit, and she turns her head, looking at us to try to figure out the answer. I say, "YOU LIFT IT'S DAMN SKIRT AND YOU LOOK AT WHETHER IT HAS A PENIS OR A VAG." She looks at me like I'm the dumbass, pushes her mic button and says, "Well, you can tell by the heartbeat" and she's all smiling like she's right, pointing at her textbook like she's read it.

And there was much laughter among the college kids we could see on the TV screen.

I just wanted to kill everyone and everything in that room.

CortestheKiller said:

...Incidentally, you just reminded me that a girl I used to date got an 'A' in high school English by screwing her teacher.

Boy, could I pick 'em.

Ace said:

Apparently so.

It's a disgusting shame I've never fucked the right people and got ahead.

CortestheKiller said:

It's all about who you know...to fuck.

Ace said:

Well. I've known plenty of people to fuck. But only one ever did anything for me besides decide he wanted to get married. But that one's by far my favorite. The getting married one I mean.

Enough about that.

CortestheKiller said:

Don't go discounting sucking dick, either. Some men will buy you a place to live simply for letting them put their tallywhacker in your mouth.

Ace said:

Where were you when I could've used these lessons?

I am not afraid to suck on a tallywhacker.
[Edited 12/19/06 20:31pm]

CortestheKiller said:

Now I feel bad that I wasn't there to mentor you.

I would've told you to find some married guy with a lotta scratch. Married guys apparently do not get their dicks sucked and will do all sorts of crazy shit to bust a nut in in someone's conk.

Don't you watch Cheaters?

Ace said:

I did that, inadvertantly. I should've known when he was coming around only on the weekends and buying me fucking nice gifts and leaving me with $100 "You know, use it for gas money for the week. Buy yourself something nice." Etc. I should've stuck him for more than the grand I did when I found out.

Ah well.