Nat...please keep trying to call him...this is scary...

Chico...there is love for you here. You're not alone, even though you may feel that way.

applekisses said:

it's 8am in Cali now... do you think I should try again? it IS scary has ANYONE AT ALL heard from him? come on there must be someone who's in touch with him...

Karen? any other Cali orgers?

Natisse said:

I think it's ok to call...

applekisses said:

I sent him a message on MySpace and it's been read... still gonna call him though but will leave it until later today Cali time now, I think. at least we know he's ok

CortestheKiller said:

Natisse said:

WHEW! Thanks, Nat.

applekisses said:

you can say that again! welcome, hon...

Chico please contact one of us!!! anyone, please hon I know you're seeing this and we love you

I've been there and done it. I had to hit a HUGE LOW POINT in my life. It's not worth it, and the pain you suffer after the fact hurts more than the actual act of suicide. I hurt so many people and put my family through so much hurt. I still feel like not all is forgiven. Im lucky to be here today

God bless you Chico. You know that we are REALLY here for you. Remember this place has turned into a real community of friends.



M

It's not much help, but when I felt this way I'd think, "life may not be great, but it's the only thing I know of for sure."

I'm not religious, so I don't know what's next. I figure I might as well experience what may be the only thing to experience at all.

I think about the people who'd be devastated if I did it, too. And even if you think no one would be, you're wrong. They would be. I know how I'd feel if someone I love did it. I couldn't do that to someone.

And finally, the one thing that certain is change. As low as I've gotten, I've always gotten happy again later.

I have been in this very place before, so I understand what you are experiencing.In my case, the most difficult aspect was dredging up the will to do anything, and to make the initial steps towards getting help.

People offered suggestions and wise advice about what to do, and deep down I knew help was desperately needed and which options were available - yet, even the mere thought felt to be too much effort, and ultimately pointless. I found it near impossible to care enough to make a move, and was confused and muddled by where to go or what to do. When one has spiraled down far enough, lain at the bottom of the hole long enough, and the light at the end of the tunnel appears too far away to ever again reach, the hopelessness drains one of seemingly every last drop of physical strength and emotional reserve until doing anything at all becomes a Herculean task; all one wishes to do is close one's eyes and rest, and to escape the terrible bleakness of life.

If this is the point where you now find yourself, Chico, again I tell you I utterly understand and, as someone who's been there, I say to you also that it is now especially that it is crucial you summon up just a bit more strength. I know you are exceedingly tired and life appears meaningless, but please don't let yourself linger in that horrible limbo any further because, each day you do, you will only find it increasingly harder to crawl back out, and you lose one more day which can never be restored.

Chico, if you are too weary today to make that first step and everything feels too pointless to bother with, please - use that bit of strength I know you have and tell a friend "I'm just too tired. Please do this for me.". and ask them to call your doctor for you, or to take you someplace where you can get help. Asking for such might be hard, but you clearly are blessed with friends who care for you, and who want to help. Let them help you.

Though at this moment you are thoroughly tired and life feels painful and meaningless and as though nothing will ever again be worthwhile, things won't stay so. This pain will pass. I promise you.

I wish you well.

WillyWonka said:

Well spoken by someone who has obviously been at that brink. Chico ~ he has given you the best advice ~ call SOMEONE ~ I've orgnoted my information and you have contact numbers for many people here who love and care about you. Please just pick one and share your pain until you can get help. for you and for WillyWonka

NDRU said:

I do the same thing, that's what keeps me far enough from the edge when I get close to it like that, thinking about the people I know it would affect like my niece and the friend of mine that did end it all in a very public way several years ago, I remember the hurt and anger we all felt when we found out it was him, remembering those feelings helps me to not go over the edge though admittedly it’s fight to come back when you’re that close, but you have to reach out… you have to find a way to fight it.

Thanks MoonSongs for emailing me. I just spoke with him. I'm going to call him again after work and see how he's doing. I told him he can call me ANYTIME, my cell is always on. I might go and see him if he wants me to. He said he doesn't want to be around anyone... We'll see. Just keep praying for him and I'll keep an eye on him. If anyone gets really worried about him, you can message me. Chico and I have been friends since high school, so he's like a brother to me.

Peace,
~Vina

FuNkeNsteiN said:

i don't think this is inappropriate at all. as a person who loves music and love, these reminders are good for Chico when he's asking this kind of question.

Chico, go back to Madonna, to Kylie, to Prince, to the people have inspired you and made you happy. Find those joys.

Yes, you should care. you have an enormous capacity to love. don't up on yourself because you have many talents. like Melissa said, keep putting one foot in front of the other.

VinaBlue said:

I'm silly Vina I should have thought straight away to message you thank you so much for filling us in on how he is

when you see him and talk to him PLEASE tell him he's very much loved...

Natisse said:

Thx Vina, like Tiss said let him know he's loved

Tell him I think of him daily when I look at the flower he gave me that i placed next to my monitor at work

Natisse said:

I will, for sure.

VinaBlue said:

Thx

AndGodCreatedMe said:

No problem.

Everyone, please just keep praying for him and send him POSITIVE energy. I know it's hard to not get worried. I had a friend of mine here at work send a message to a prayer line. I told Chico to call me ANYTIME if he needs ANYTHING. I'll keep checking in with him.

VinaBlue said:

most definately thanks again

Best wishes, mate. It'll pass.

Vina, please give Chico our best. Thank you so much for the update.

VinaBlue said:

Thanks, Vina...everytime I read this thread I start to cry... He's got to know how much he is loved...

So many people seem to be depressed at the moment. I've been experiencing it myself and so have many of my friends.

Did we have mass depression in the past? I think we're missing something in this modern world, or perhaps we have too much - too many pressures to look good, earn more, live fast, be exciting.

Would we all be happier if we connected back with nature more, got used to having less and contributing more to one another's happiness?

I wonder ...

's to all who are going through a bad time right now.

xxx

Reincarnate said:

WillyWonka said:

How is it that you always know just the right thing to say?

The tiredness . . . weary is a good word . . . is the thing that is hardest to explain to people who haven't experienced severe depression. It's beyond anything in normal experience, and it can make the idea of finding a phone number and callig it seem equivilent to running 10 marathons in a row.

Your advice is excellent.

Baby, I know that life can be overwhelming. Believe me, I know. You might not look at this as a blessing but you are blessed with the ability to feel. As a fellow Pisces, I know how deep that river runs. Sometimes I feel like I can't handle the depth of my feelings but somehow and someway I am always allowed to feel them completely and continue on with my journey because if it weren't for the depth of how I feel, I'd never want to reach out to others and that is such an amazing gift. Don't throw it away. Whatever it is, it's not worth it.

You can always talk to me about life. I know it can be crazy, lord do I But that's what makes life interesting and how boring would it be to be a robot. No thanks.

Chico, I don't know you as I haven't been here long, but your pain is being
felt by more than just your close friends....it's hard to see the light at
the end of the tunnel...but it will gradually get closer...I will pray for
you, as that's my only means of helping you at this moment...

Vina, your idea of positive energy is good too, especially when it comes from
a group of ppl...I'm convinced that can make a difference as well....

obsessed said: