It's a form of expression

My writing here is sometimes very much like my journal writtings and other times very much not like it ... what i write is not for public display like a web blog ... it's more sacred spiritual work and experiences during rituals and shamanic journeys and the such ... my intentions

I remember writting stories to Wen ( she was my God image / name ) as early as 1st grade ( i still have some of those writtings ! )

Mach said:

great! do you look back at your writings? do you see some sort of progression - either in terms of your writing itself, or your spirituality?

and it must be great to have those from 1st grade!

IrresistibleB1tch said:

yes i sometimes look back for info and to see patterns / cycles and growth

some pages are remote writtings and it's a little odd

When you set / write down anintention it is interesting to go back and look to see if you were able to will it into reality

I went back the other day to my pre surgery writting to see if my intentions i set for TR's surgery and recovery had come forth ... and i was pleased that most had

IrresistibleB1tch said:

Hard work, deadlines, pain, and tribulation!



"It is still color, it is not yet light."

To get the different colors to be light.



They are all places where you write.



I wrote my name in permanent black magic marker on the side of a gray filing cabinet. It is still there.



I pray for the day...

Mach said:

so your writing is part of the manifestation of your intentions? very cool!

i've written ever since i learned how to write.

i think it goes back, as so many things about me do, to being an only child and having to come up with ways to entertain and amuse myself. writing was a way i could play and show it to other people later if i wanted.

i used to kinda get in trouble in grade school for some of the things i wrote in class. teachers were always calling my mom, exasperated about essays i'd written in class. i remember one, in which we were supposed to write a short story about getting stranded on a desert island. i guess i just wasn't feeling up to writing that day, so i just wrote "one guy was eaten by a shark, one guy starved to death and one guy died of the island disease. the end."

and i wonder why the producers of 'lost' haven't tried to hire me.

writing is the best. i can take an hour to figure out the right word, but when you read it, it's as if i'm rattling it all off the top of my head. i like that. i like being in control of the way i communicate and finding the exact right words for what i want to convey. words and their meanings (and the lack thereof) are very interesting and important to me.

when i write, you're getting me at 100%. it's the closest i can come to saying exactly what i mean and expressing exactly how i feel, because i have the time to be as precise as i want to be.

2the9s said:

i love that!

Anx said:

that's one of my favorite parts about "serious" writing, too. i love to edit my grants until they are "just so".

IrresistibleB1tch said:

it's the most gratifying thing in the world to write something and have people connect with it, even in a business environment.

Anx said:

I write for a living (former reporter current communications professional and freelance journalist) and really the main reason for getting into my profession is because I wanted to help inform people about their world, whether it's local politics, crime and schools or what's going on in their place of work. Also, it allows for some creativity and has helped me overcome some of my shyness.
[Edited 10/25/06 5:47am]

applekisses said:

awesome!

do you write "for fun" as well?

i used to write in my journal alot but ironically since i've been in school i haven't written much. usually i write when i'm upset or stressed out. doesn't solve the situation-but it makes me feel better

brownsugar said:

that's important right there!

brownsugar said:

same here. I've kept a journal since 5th grade, although I don't write in it much now than I did when I was younger, it does help get things off of your chest without anybody knowing anything you don't want them to know. I agree that it is a stress reliever as well. I also write short stories and poems on days when I'm feeling my creative energy flowing.

brownsugar said:

'writing it out' is always a great form of self-therapy, in my opinion.

IrresistibleB1tch said:

Thanks
Not as much as I'd like. I used to keep a journal...have written some crappy poetry...and I'm trying to get motivated to blog more...but, I find that because I've spend so many years writing other people's stories that it's often difficult to get into the mindset of writing my own. It's something I'd like to work on.

Anx said:

Sorry, I seem to co-sign a lot of what you say Anx but that is BANG ON. Or at least the way I feel.

Honest question: would you say you're misunderstood sometimes? The way you describe things or the way other people interpret them? (There again: who isn't?). Sometimes I feel like I'm speaking another language to people. My closest friends and nearest and dearest know exactly where I'm coming from but even they get all sometimes. I know they think "Where the hell is this going??!". But my writing style is straight from the brain to the page, no tangents, no distractions. A lot more easier to understand, perhaps.

I love language. I love it's complexities. I love the way certain turns of phrase or expression can radically alter the way it's interpreted. I find writing is the perfect way of capturing my thoughts and feelings in a way that I can't always articulate. If people read these posts and think they hear my 'voice', that - to me - is the highest compliment. Probably the voice of someone who is all over the shop. But that would be true as well.

In answer to IB's questions, I don't write for a living (I wish!) and I don't write a blog. I can't remember the first thing I wrote either. Sorry! But I can't ever imagine not writing. Never.

onenitealone said:

I feel like I am misunderstood quite often in the course of normal conversation, especially when I'm trying really hard to say exactly what I mean, or when I'm reaching to say something in a way I've never said it before.

People comment on the fact that I'm often very quiet in person, that I'm very private, that I seem very deliberate when I speak. I know some people just speak as the thoughts pour into their brains and whatever comes out, comes out. I'm not so much like that (unless I'm in Minneapolis and I'm drunk, apparently ).

This is why I hate the phone and love e-mail. When I'm on the phone, I'm FORCED to rely on the "pour into my brain and out of my mouth" way of speaking, or else the person on the other end of the line is stuck with a phone full of dead air. So I end up saying a bunch of things in a way I wouldn't choose to say them, which can at times be a little awkward.

This is also a big reason I studied improv and would like to continue to do so - it strengthens the part of my brain that deals with spontaneity and quick responses, which makes phone/verbal conversation a bit easier to handle as a result.

But writing, yeah. I can get really articulate when I need to, because I have the time to pick out the right words...and that's my safety zone where communication's concerned.

Anx said:

that's fascinating!

i'm forever checking my filter, too, when i'm talking to people, like Pepto-Bismol for my verbal diarrhea. i've become more quiet in the process, too. but in my case, that's a VERY good thing!
[Edited 10/25/06 6:12am]

Anx said:

Again, ALL of that I completely understand. And identify with.

People who know me, wouldn't say I have a problem talking. They probably wish I did less of it. But that's because I know them, they know me, and we understand each other. It's a no-brainer, really. I don't have that 'fear factor' of how I will be interpreted.

I think that safety net - the control aspect - is one thing I like about writing. I find my mouth and my brain are often working at two different speeds and trying to articulate my thoughts via words becomes difficult. I know what I want to say but actually saying it is a different matter. If I don't keep it in check, I literally just spew everything I'm thinking.

I'm finding my spoken English is becoming more economical the older I get. When I was younger, I was but now it's more direct and straight to the point. And I've purposely done that so that others understand me more. But, sometimes, I feel like I'm not really being 'me' that way - I'm holding the rest back. It's a 'sharper' version, if that makes sense.

IrresistibleB1tch said:

I used to write a lot of poetry... in really bad times it helped to "Get it all out" so to speak and was theraputic (sp)

Natisse said:

hi Natisse!

would you read your poetry out loud during a workshop or similar situation? i am always in awe of people who can do that, but i can't make myself do it yet.

onenitealone said:

YES to all of this!

i also find myself trying to be a better listener and also i'm trying really hard to always come up with questions for people in conversations. one weird thing about how i communicate is that i feel no reason to pry deeper than what someone is telling me on the surface, because i assume they're telling me everything i need to know. yet, i LOVE it in conversations when people ask me a lot of questions. and interestingly enough, this practice is making my writing a little stronger, because i'm more interested in hunting down details and verification.

IrresistibleB1tch said:

no because I'm terrible at articulating myself I can never explain myself properly and that would SO translate if I was trying to read my poetry out loud lol