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Thread started 10/17/06 11:09am

PanicAttack

JET ASSISTED TAKE-OFF!

biggrin Folks, this is probably one of the best and MOST INSANE stories I've ever READ! ENJOY!



JET ASSISTED TAKE-OFF!

The Arizona Highway Patrol were mystified when they came upon a pile of smoldering wreckage embedded in the side of a cliff rising above the road at the apex of a curve. The metal debris resembled the site of an airplane crash, but it turned out to be the vaporized remains of an automobile. The make of the vehicle was unidentifiable at the scene.

The folks in the lab finally figured out what it was, and pieced together the events that led up to its demise.

It seems that a former Air Force sergeant had somehow got hold of a JATO (Jet Assisted Take-Off) unit. JATO units are solid fuel rockets used to give heavy military transport airplanes an extra push for take-off from short airfields.

Dried desert lakebeds are the location of choice for breaking the world ground vehicle speed record. The sergeant took the JATO unit into the Arizona desert and found a long, straight stretch of road. He attached the JATO unit to his car, jumped in, accelerated to a high speed, and fired off the rocket.

The facts, as best as could be determined, are as follows:

The operator was driving a 1967 Chevy Impala. He ignited the JATO unit approximately 3.9 miles from the crash site. This was established by the location of a prominently scorched and melted strip of asphalt. The vehicle quickly reached a speed of between 250 and 300 mph and continued at that speed, under full power, for an additional 20-25 seconds. The soon-to-be pilot experienced G-forces usually reserved for dog-fighting F-14 jocks under full afterburners.

The Chevy remained on the straight highway for approximately 2.6 miles (15-20 seconds) before the driver applied the brakes, completely melting them, blowing the tires, and leaving thick rubber marks on the road surface. The vehicle then became airborne for an additional 1.3 miles, impacted the cliff face at a height of 125 feet, and left a blackened crater 3 feet deep in the rock.






Most of the driver's remains were not recovered; however, small fragments of bone, teeth, and hair were extracted from the crater, and fingernail and bone shards were removed from a piece of debris believed to be a portion of the steering wheel.

Ironically a still-legible bumper sticker was found, reading
"How do you like my driving? Dial 1-800-EAT-SHIT." biggrin



(Illustration by Zeebarf/Darwin Awards)
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Reply #1 posted 10/17/06 11:17am

SpisaRibb

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lol lol lol
..
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Reply #2 posted 10/17/06 11:18am

PanicAttack

SpisaRibb said:

lol lol lol




nuts I was a STONED thing to do, wasn't it! stoned
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Reply #3 posted 10/17/06 4:56pm

Steadwood

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Was he/she insured? confused

Has anyony seen Jeremy Clarkson recently? neutral

smile
guitar I have a firm grip on reality...Maybe just not this reality biggrin troll guitar


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Reply #4 posted 10/19/06 1:28pm

PanicAttack

Steadwood said:[quote][b][color=darkblue]Was he/she insured? confused[quote]

err You really didn't read the entire story...did,ya! That nut driving the 1967 Chevy Impala, was found in a few pieces! tease


Article said:

Most of the driver's remains were not recovered; however, small fragments of bone, teeth, and hair were extracted from the crater, and fingernail and bone shards were removed from a piece of debris believed to be a portion of the steering wheel.
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Reply #5 posted 10/20/06 12:12pm

Steadwood

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PanicAttack said:[quote]Steadwood said:[quote]Was he/she insured? confused


err You really didn't read the entire story...did,ya! That nut driving the 1967 Chevy Impala, was found in a few pieces! tease


Article said:

Most of the driver's remains were not recovered; however, small fragments of bone, teeth, and hair were extracted from the crater, and fingernail and bone shards were removed from a piece of debris believed to be a portion of the steering wheel.



boxed

Yeah...but couldn't they claim for the little pieces doh! confused



smile
guitar I have a firm grip on reality...Maybe just not this reality biggrin troll guitar


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Reply #6 posted 10/20/06 4:25pm

TMPletz

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