The hot, cool guys I know constantly have woman chasing them. I think what guys that have the attitude that Spats says he has really need to face is that it just doesn't happen to them(or their buddies since we all know that birds of a feather flock together ).

A lot of women don't even get the chance to make the first move because so many guys are really aggressive, and when a first move isn't made by a guy it may very well be that a lot of women don't approach first out of fear of rejection.

However, the aggressive women that do approach first are only going after what they think is the cream of the crop. They are not going to waste a millisecond of their time on someone that they are not attracted to (physically, mentally, personality wise).

The type of guy Spats claims to be doesn't get approached and I totally believe it....so, there is only one conclusion that can be made. Women that don't approach first are not interested in guys like Spats and the ones that do approach first are not interested in guys like Spats, because after all, remember, he says it never happens.

There's really nothing more to it. He can keep saying it never happens because that is his reality (or so the story goes).

In the meantime, people like DarkKnight and the others that have said it happens to them will continue to attract aggressive personality types and Spats, I guess, will just continue to go without his sacktime.

Here's to all those that get approached first and often! It's awesome isn't it?

co-sign. EOS!

co-sign. EOS!

You are co-signing to being wrong.

1. I asked my ex-boyfriend out on our first date. We got involved because I picked up the phone and asked if he wanted to go out for a walk with me. In fact, I think I initiated most of our "dates". We never paid for each other.

But he was a lot like you Spats. He never expressed any real affection, absolutely not an ounce of romance, insinuated he was non-monogamous, and didn't bother with acknowledging my birthday. Not until later did he admit to enjoying the physical part of the relationship.

I was pretty young at the time, so I put up with this b.s. because I liked him and we were friends. But I eventually felt like he didn't give a rat's ass (why would I think otherwise?) and decided to move out of state. In retrospect, that relationship was a complete drag.

And last time I saw him, he hasn't changed a bit. Now middle-aged, he sits in his office, single, whining about the world and its ills.

2. A few years ago, a guy and I were becoming friends at school. It turns out he didn't have any plans for Christmas, so I took a chance and called him on the phone and asked him if he'd like to come over for dinner. He got nervous and called me back and said no. So I got rejected.

3. I can think of several other examples too. For the most part, I've stopped doing this because I always ended up with scaredy cat men who never acted like they cared. I found I couldn't tell if they liked me or not and there was a pattern of unconscious resentment and resistance that I was threatening their masculinity. They could also abdicate responsibiity quite easily and even blame me for the results of my actions (easy to do since they took very few).

You are co-signing to being wrong.

You are co-signing to being wrong.

Boy you are stupid, and the funniest thing is that you can't see it. That is sad.

Why is not liking lots of affection and romance bad though? I cannot help the way i am. I don't act like i care a lot because if you do women take you for granted. Women take nice guys for granted every single day. they constantly get stepped over. The nice guy way is the wrong way. Most women are not into them. They say they want them but they don't end up with them.

And the fact that only 3 women on here said they take men out proves my point.

And the fact that only 3 women on here said they take men out proves my point.

If you need romance and affection to boost your self esteem then that has nothing to do with the man you get involved with. If you are a confident person you won't need those things to boost your self esteem. I don't need those things. I can't stay with a woman that does.

I don't need romance and affection to boost my self esteem. I don't even need a relationship.

But if I took a step down and gave energy to a jerky guy who treats me like I don't matter that WOULD affect my self-esteem. Fortunately, I never do that.

I count at least four and several of the guys have experienced it too. And this does not include the many thousands who don't bother to dialogue with an infantile. In fact, the majority of people on this thread have countered your theorem, so bug off.

A lot of the here in past have said they don't or didn't do the approaching.

I don't think i ever treated a woman like she does not matter. I am not a bad person.

Because a woman deserves to be valued as a whole person, ultimately, not just a casual sacktime partner. (This casual sacktime partner wears itself out by the way, it gets boring, and the sexual attraction tends to fade if there is nothing else going on). Romance, affection, action, ideas, creativity in the relationship make it feel worthy. I don't go out with guys like you because it is terrible for my self-esteem. I deserve better.

But why am I responding to you? You have already decided the way the world works and you are ALWAYS ALWAYS right. You have conversations only to prove your point (which has far from been proven). If you already know how the world works and all the people in it, why do you bother rambling on about it? Are you trying to convince us? Or are you so insecure about your viewpoints you have to continue to taunt others and re-assert your ideas again and AGAIN and AGAIN?

No matter how many times you reassert your viewpoint, doesn't make it true. Almost every single person on the org disagrees with you, and yet you continue to assert that you are RIGHT. Let's see...how many people on this site have a different experience of the world and women than you do???? EVERYONE!!!!

Proves my point I think.

( )

And the fact that only 3 women on here said they take men out proves my point.


If you need romance and affection to boost your self esteem then that has nothing to do with the man you get involved with. If you are a confident person you won't need those things to boost your self esteem. I don't need those things. I can't stay with a woman that does.

I don't shower women with lots of affection and attention like they always want but i don't treat them like they don't matter either.

That is not what your latest g/f thinks

And the fact that only 3 women on here said they take men out proves my point.


If you need romance and affection to boost your self esteem then that has nothing to do with the man you get involved with. If you are a confident person you won't need those things to boost your self esteem. I don't need those things. I can't stay with a woman that does.

Well, she has become a bit of a disappointment. She started out cool but it did not last. i took her out to eat, to the movies, to harbourfront. We made out.I don't understand how she can complain that i am not attentive enough or affectionate enough. And to complain that i do not open up enough? What the hell i am i supposed to open up to her about?

A couple buddies and i were at the movies today. The one who is friends with her said i should have been at the movies with her or least doing something with her today instead of out with them. And that i am blowing it big time with a nice and pretty girl. Now, this girl has got be arguing with buddies that i rarely argue with.

So now even your buddies think you are a fool. Hmmmmm.....everybody here does, your buddies do, she does.....get the hint friend

Yeah but a couple of them have no business thinking i am fool for what has happened with the babe. They are involved with ugos.