JediMaster did a great job with his Jason interview and beat me to the F13 punch. Just because it beats working here is a complete review of all 11 of the F13 movies. Spoilers abound so don't read if you plan on renting these bad boys.

Just because I have nothing else to do, here's a shortreview of all of the Friday the 13th movies, with plentiful factual errors I am sure. Spoilers aplenty so do not read if you plan on renting any of these 20 year old films.

Friday the 13th: Okay but mostly a Halloween rip-off that has the claim to fame of Kevin Bacon getting spaded through the chest. Not really a true part of the series since Mr. Voorhees is absent and his mommy is the killer.

Friday the 13th Part 2: The girl at the end of the first one who kills Jason's mom gets killed at the beginning of numero dos. But it's Jason this time, the boy who supposedly drown several years ago in Camp Crystal Lake and whose mom sought revenge in the first film. Except now, it's Jason avenging his mom who lost her head avenging him. Jason is a wuss in this one, looks like he weighs about 150 pounds and wears a bag over his head. Not a memorable entry.

Friday the 13th Part 3-D: Jason finally gets the mask and plot be damned as it is just one murdered teen after another. Jason finally starts looking like himself.

Friday the 13th Part 4: The Final Chapter: The best of the series. The introduction of Tommy, played by the Corey Feldman (the smack doing, Jacko worshipping one, not the other one, Haim, who has no distinguishing features whatsoever). Jason kicks some ass, takes some names, but Tommy kills his ass with a machete at the end and based on the crazy look in Feldman's eye it appears he will take up the killing mantle.

Friday the 13th Part 5 The New Beginning: Okay so how do you get out of being a final chapter, Make it a new beginning, right? This imposter F13 film has some great gore effects but the plot is crap. Jason, who was in 27 pieces at the end of 4, is supposedly back and after Tommy who is at a farm for wayward crazy horny teens. But is Jason really the one hacking people up? Or is it Tommy? It's neither, it's some jackass ambulance driver who's zaftig son was slaughtered by one of his fellow wayward crazy horny teens earlier in the film. Most notable for Dudley from Diffrent Strokes having a large role.

Friday the 13th Part 6: Jason Lives: Does he now? I thought...oh, okay, he's still alive, got it. Tommy, played by a new actor (the ill-fated teen in Return of the Living Dead Thom Matthews) revives Jason accidentally with lightning, Arnold Horshack (I am not making this up) by his side. Jason kills some teens, some survivalists (a triple decapitation...wow), and then he and Tommy duke it out...or something. Jason is killed. Again. Tommy exeunts the series.

Friday the 13th Part 7: The New Blood: Okay now they have just lost their damn mind. Psychic girl (Lar Park Lincoln) kills her dad when she was a girl so she has issues. Her psychic energy wakes up Jason who slaughters more horny teens, etc. Psychic girl and Jason go mano a mano and Jason loses again.

Friday the 13th Part 8: Jason Takes Manhattan: The best title in the series. But a suckass movie. Jason doesn't get to Toronto...err New York until an hour after the movie starts. Before that he is on a party boat with some horny teens who he kills...except for a bland chick heroine and her beau. Jason is in his usual form, in one scene literally knocking the head off a would be boxer. But when they get to Quebec...err New York, nothing happens except they go down some sewer or nuclear radiation pit or something and Jason becomes the little boy who drowned all those years ago. Ummm, okay.

Friday the 13th: Jason Goes to Hell: So does the movie goer. Starts with a coroner taking a bite out of Jason's heart and goes downhill from there. Bounty hunter is tracking Jason, who is actually not a person but a spirit whose body is just meat. Uh huh...various imposter Jasons kill horny teens. Bad, bad movie.

Friday the 13th X:Jason in Space: Okay, let me try to explain how this happened. Oh to hell with it...Jason is in space and he kills some horny teen astronauts and...now they are not even trying.

Freddy versus Jason: New Line stttttrrrrreeeeettttccccches for a way to get their two villians together. Okay as a novelty but to give it away Freddy beats Jason. Maybe.

Make them stop.

But seriously, I actually always loved the series, even as it got lower and lower in quality. I actually saw 5 of them at the movie theater and I miss the excitement of those crowds (in F5, the call of "Kick his ass, Dudley" was repeated often).

Anyway, just thought I would share...
[Edited 10/13/06 13:48pm]

You got the first movie wrong. Kevin Bacon gets it through the throat, not the chest. Gotta keep my sick violent moments pure. lol

2freaky4church1 said:

I stand corrected...it was a good effect...I feel bad for forgetting that, especially since Mr. Bacon is filming a movie in my hometown right now.

walmart has them in the flyer for $5

but they didn't get the shipment in

emm said:

$5 for any film after Part 4 is highway robbery!

i was going to get part one and two to watch tomorrow


i couldn't read your review as i didn't want to spoil my viewing experience
i did see a bit on youtube featuring the 10 greatest kills from the series

These were all so dumb after Part 2. But I did think the guy who played Tommy in Part 5 was a bit attractive.

You mentioned Dudley You should've known I'd get a kick out of this. In Jason takes Manhattan....my brother and I used to die laughing at the scene with the boxer. We'd rewind back over and over.....you know how kids are.

"a"
[Edited 10/16/06 9:38am]