How many honest, intelligent, caring men in the world does it take to do the dishes? Both of them.

Why did the man cross the road? He heard the chicken was a slut.

Why don't women blink during foreplay? They don't have time.

Why does it take 1 million sperm to fertilize one egg? They won't
stop and ask for directions.

How does a man show that he is planning for the future? He buys two
cases of beer.

What is the difference between men and government bonds? The bonds
eventually will mature.

Why are blonde jokes so short? So men can remember them.

How many men does it take to change a roll of toilet paper? We
don't know; it has never happened.

Why is it difficult to find men who are sensitive, caring and good
looking? They all already have boyfriends.

What do you call a woman who knows where her husband is every night?
A widow.

When do you care for a man's company? When he owns it.

Why are married women usually heavier than single women? Single
women come home, see what's in the fridge and go to bed. Married women
come home, see what's in the bed and go to the fridge.

How do you get a man to do sit-ups? Tape the remote control between
his toes.

What did God say after creating man? "I must be able to do better
than THAT!".

What did God say after creating Eve? "Practice makes perfect".

What is the one thing that all men at singles bars have in common?
They're all married.

Man says to God, "God, why did you make woman so beautiful?" God
says, "So you would love her." "But God," the man says, "why did you make
her so dumb?" God says, "So she would love you!"


Again credits to www.longtononline.co.uk

myownprivateinsanity said:

Brilliant

Very Funny...thanks for posting.