Tell me a bit about yourself — are you married?
My name Borat Sagdiyev, I son of Asimbala Sagdiyev and Boltok the rapist, and former husband of Oxana Sagdiyev, who was daughter of Mariam Tulyakbay and Boltok the rapist. My hobbies is ping pong, disco dance and taking photographs of ladies doing toilet without their knowledge. My wife is dead. I did not kill her. It not problem, I have new wife.




Where did you grow up? What was it like growing up there?

I grow up in beautiful Kazakh town of Kuzcek. My house was in nicest area, three miles from fence of Jewtown. I was lucky to be from good family, so I stay on after school and do further educations. I study plague research at Astana University and create three new ones! One of them was sprayed on Uzbekistan and kill two millions goat! Then, after that, when I 13, I leave education and start workings.


We don’t know much about the country in the UK. What are its good points and its bad points?

Kazakhstan nice place and now as civilised as any other — especial since the Tulyakev reforms of 2003, which mean women can now travel on inside of bus, homosexuals no longer have to wear blue hats and age of consent have been raised to 11 year old. In Kazakhstan, we treats all peoples with equal respect — even the “strange ones”. Last May, we open the Almaty Retard Centre. It have over 300 cages for them to live in, and public viewing gallery where for 10 tenge you can look on them, and for 15 you can throw potatoes. Why not? They like!

Does it have many of the problems of the region? Ethnic tensions?

Most problems in region is caused by assholes Uzbekistan — who as everyone knows is nosy people with a bone in the middle of their brains. If there is one more item of Uzbek propaganda claiming we in Kazakhstan do not drink fermented horse urine, give death penalty for cleaning anoos with Kazakh flag or export over 300 tons of human pubis per year, then we will have no alternative but to commence bombardment of their cities with our catapults.


Is there anywhere else you would like to live?

I would very much like livings in Beverlys Hills. It have biggest stars in the world, who lives there and walk in the streets. One afternoon when I looking on shops, I see, buying a handbag, most beautiful woman in world — Liza Minnelli. Then I see driving in a car hero John Wayne, and when I return to my hotel Best Western, fighting legend Muhammad Ali open door for me.


Why did you want to work in the media?

I have be television reporter since seven years. My profession journalist.

I have previous work as ice-maker and gypsy-catcher, and was also do computer maintenance — I the one who would paint the outsides and remove dead birds from their pipes. I have also be doctor one time, for two week during school holiday. Before that, I was extractor of spermatozoa from animals. I the best in Almaty! One time there was a camel who everyone say could not be released. I say, leave it to Borat! I grip, pull; grip, pull; grip, pull... for 17 hours... my arm was to begin to ache very much... then there was a rumbling... and... liquid explosion! Hi five.


Are you a big star at home? Do you have fans? How do they treat you?

I fourth most famous person in Kazakhstan. No 3 is ex-Olympic gymnast Lily Utmarkan, who now perform in Kazakh State Circus, where she famous for be able to put one foot in ear while other in her vagine. No 2 is our glorious premier and No 1 is animal actor Jonny the Monkey, who dress like Humphrey Bogarts and smokes cigarettes.


What is the most exciting story you have covered for your station?

Last year, I cover the annual feast of Shurik — this almost exact the same as your FA Cups Final. Only slight difference is instead of 80,000 people gather in arena for look on activity sportive, we have two millions shepherds who come down from the Tinshein Hills and gather in a field, where they get very drunk on ferment horse urine, then dig a big hole that they fill with dog and Uzbek. They then throw potato on them for two day, before comb each other’s hair and return to hills.


Why did you decide to go to America?

I go to US and A for learn lessons for Kazakhstan, and this was great success. We now has democracy, just like Americas — only slight difference is that instead of man with most votes who win, it is man who can suspend heaviest weight from his testes satchel. Our current premier can suspend a car battery for 8.4 seconds. Also, in America a woman can vote, but a horse cannot! Crazy! In Kazakhstan, only women allowed in our congress is prostitutes. We say that to give a womens power is like to give monkeys guns.

Very dangerous. We have stopped do this ever since the 2001 Astana Zoo massacre. Another positive things I take back to Kazakhstan from America was use of death penalty. We now also gives it for serious crimes, such as spitting or cleaning anoos with Kazakh flag.


Did you learn everything you needed to?

Yes, I learn all I ask to learn, but my premier had also instruct me to capture lady from the Pussycat Dolls and take her back to Kazakhstan for him. I fail in this, but did manage get the three young boys and cheeseboorger he also ask for.


What was the biggest surprise about the country?

I was very surprise to learn it is now illegal to shoot at Red Indians. Once again, I would like apologise with all my heart to the staff of the Potawatomi Casino in Kansas. Sorry. I was also very surprise to discover womens is permit to operate motorcar in US and A. This could never happen in Kazakhstan — it too dangerous. We say that “to let woman drive a car is like to let monkey fly a plane”. We do not allow this any more since 2003 Astana air crash.


What do you think of the American people?

I like them very much — I make many new best friends. I like most the professor of driving I meet, although I was very nervous about travel alone in motorcar with another man. Only time this happen in Kazakhstan is to journey to edge of forest for make bang bang bang in anoos.


What was the best and worst thing that happened over there?

Best thing that I get to eat delicious American hamboorgers. First day I go to McDonald’s, which is restaurant so fancypants, it actual have a separate for do toilet in! There I eat 17 hamboorgers and next day my anoos was hang loose like mouth of tired dog.


Would you like to go back, or maybe to live there?

I current cannot travel due to sex-crime misunderstanding, but once I prove the horse was consent and this resolve, I would like returning.


Is there anything Kazakhstan could learn from the USA? And vice versa?

Kazakhstan is glorious nation and is now very little that could be improve there. I invites all peoples of Great Britains to come visit and see how modern we now is. I recommend very much you stay at family resort, Astana Funworld, where there is luxury cages for the wifes, unlimited buffet of Turkmenistan prostitutes for the husbands and an enclosure where childrens can shoot squirrel, dog and gypsy.


How has your film been received in Kazakhstan?

This movie have already been release in Kazakhstan and was blockbusterings! It open simultaneous on all seven of our country’s screens and take top spot from Hollywood movie King Kong — which had been No 1 film in Kazakhstan ever since it was release in 1933. I would also recommend that people go see new Kazakh moviefilm Nomad, which a very accurates portrayal of how Kazakhstan was 50 years ago.


What are your ambitions now?

I not sure when I will be do my own next project, because for the next 18 months our country’s camera is fully booked to make other television programmes. During this times, I am focus on showbizness career of my 11-year-old son, Bilak. He recent start as actor in Kazakh version of Teletubbies. He still very nervous about appear on camera — especially for the sex scenes. I do not know why — he have a magnificent chram, circumference 16.7cm. He should be proud to show it to the other childrens.


Do you have a message for the people of Britain?

Do not trust traitor of government, Yulkin Tulyakev.

And where's the link to back this up????

luv4u said:

I NOT LIE LIKE UZBEK!

http://www.timesonline.co...11,00.html