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My daughter was assaulted at school!! This is the second time this year. I need advice on how to deal with this appropriately.
Daughter told a boy that he shouldn't stand on the swing because he could fall. He gets down and calls her a bitch. Proceeds to follow her around, pushes her down by grabbing her neck, pulls a chunk of hair out and laughs, then SPITS ON HER. She went to the office and told, he was pulled in and denied the whole thing. She comes home crying and I IMMEDIATELY call the school. They tried to play CYA until I told them I was calling the police immediately. I was quickly transferred to the principal who got a serious talking to. She ASSURES me that this kid will be suspended tomorrow. Should I pull her out of this school? Should I call the police anyway? Do I need to contact an attorney? Anyone experience this crap before? I am so fucking pissed right now, I can't see straight!!! | |
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I think you should let her stay home tomorrow and I would call the police. Maybe they can go talk to this hoodlum's parents and scare them into teaching their kid to act like a human being.
Just my opinion. I hope she's ok. Poor little thing. | |
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How horrible! I hope your daughter is doing okay, and that you are too. I can only imagine your stress level and how worried and angry you are.
My son was going through something similar, earlier in the year, but nothing of this magnitude. I really don't know how I would handle this myself, so I don't have any good advice. How does your daugher feel about going back to school tomorrow and what are her thoughts in staying in this school? | |
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I think calling the police is the right thing to do. How old was this boy?
Your daughter should feel safe at school... She's there to learn, and can't do that if she's got to deal with crap like this. How does she feel about going back to school? | |
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applekisses said: I think you should let her stay home tomorrow and I would call the police. Maybe they can go talk to this hoodlum's parents and scare them into teaching their kid to act like a human being.
Just my opinion. I hope she's ok. Poor little thing. The principal tried to say that my daughter wasn't picked up right after school. I said,"She was there for fifteen minutes, and does this other child get out at a different time or something?" She says,"No, but his mother was helping out at the book fair." WTF? I blasted her, saying that the school is responsible for my child's well being UNTIL SHE LEAVES THE SCHOOL GROUNDS, and the "helping out the book fair" HOLDS ABSOLUTELY NO RELEVANCE TO THE FACTS. I said,"This kid put his hands on my child, and it had BETTER be rectified ASAP!" | |
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I'm afraid that my daughter is doing better than I am.
She told me that she actually saw the mother drag her son into the office saying,"Just tell them you didn't do anything." | |
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gemini13 said: applekisses said: I think you should let her stay home tomorrow and I would call the police. Maybe they can go talk to this hoodlum's parents and scare them into teaching their kid to act like a human being.
Just my opinion. I hope she's ok. Poor little thing. The principal tried to say that my daughter wasn't picked up right after school. I said,"She was there for fifteen minutes, and does this other child get out at a different time or something?" She says,"No, but his mother was helping out at the book fair." WTF? I blasted her, saying that the school is responsible for my child's well being UNTIL SHE LEAVES THE SCHOOL GROUNDS, and the "helping out the book fair" HOLDS ABSOLUTELY NO RELEVANCE TO THE FACTS. I said,"This kid put his hands on my child, and it had BETTER be rectified ASAP!" It sounds like she was trying to shame you into not doing anything about this. That would have pissed me off even more. | |
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applekisses said: gemini13 said: The principal tried to say that my daughter wasn't picked up right after school. I said,"She was there for fifteen minutes, and does this other child get out at a different time or something?" She says,"No, but his mother was helping out at the book fair." WTF? I blasted her, saying that the school is responsible for my child's well being UNTIL SHE LEAVES THE SCHOOL GROUNDS, and the "helping out the book fair" HOLDS ABSOLUTELY NO RELEVANCE TO THE FACTS. I said,"This kid put his hands on my child, and it had BETTER be rectified ASAP!" It sounds like she was trying to shame you into not doing anything about this. That would have pissed me off even more. It did. | |
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gemini13 said: I'm afraid that my daughter is doing better than I am.
She told me that she actually saw the mother drag her son into the office saying,"Just tell them you didn't do anything." WTF?!!? Well, that explains why her son is a monster. I fear for society with people like her raising folks. | |
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gemini13 said: I'm afraid that my daughter is doing better than I am.
She told me that she actually saw the mother drag her son into the office saying,"Just tell them you didn't do anything." Ugh. What is wrong with some parents out there? | |
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i'd definitely have some one out of the school investigate (i.e. police etc.)
my questions would be: 1. where was a supervisor while this was going on? 2. how the fuck can you deny this happening when my child is missing a chunk of hair? i'm so very sorry this happened to your child, or any child for that matter. and even more concerning is that it has happened more than once. i'd look into a possibility of a legal matter regarding neglect from school supervisors. and i would also look into changing her school. no need to keep her around people that don't believe her especially when part of their job is to protect her. good luck | |
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Don't let it slide.
Make sure the kid gets a severe reprimand/suspension from the school. Anytime physical injury is involved they've got to take some immediate corrective action. tA Tribal Disorder http://www.soundclick.com...dID=182431 "Ya see, we're not interested in what you know...but what you are willing to learn. C'mon y'all." | |
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Is home-schooling a possibility?
I know my opinion may not be the most popular one... But I really think that school is just for learning academics... not dealing with all the social BS (learning to interact with other kids etc...)... that stuff just gets in the way. | |
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The problem is that this kid is turning it around saying that my daughter is the one that did these things to him.
Although, when I saw her after school, I noticed her hair on one side. I thought the ends looked funny, but didn't know the story yet. I remember looking at her hair, thinking that it was strange that it looked like a small chunk had been yanked out and had not fallen all the way to the ground, if that makes any sense. | |
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What age range are we dealing with?
You should at minimum document the event in writing by sending a letter to the principal and cc: the school board. Explain the events as described by your child and the subsequent actions of the school staff. I am dreading the upcoming school years for my young kids for this very same reason. There's always been bullying in school, but it seems like the kids are getting nastier and nastier as the years go by. By St. Boogar and all the saints at the backside door of Purgatory! | |
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coolcat said: Is home-schooling a possibility?
I know my opinion may not be the most popular one... But I really think that school is just for learning academics... not dealing with all the social BS (learning to interact with other kids etc...)... that stuff just gets in the way. Private school looked too expensive a while back. It's looking really good right now. I'm sorry, but the public school system is crappy. There is so much disrespect by students nowadays. | |
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PurpleJedi said: What age range are we dealing with?
You should at minimum document the event in writing by sending a letter to the principal and cc: the school board. Explain the events as described by your child and the subsequent actions of the school staff. I am dreading the upcoming school years for my young kids for this very same reason. There's always been bullying in school, but it seems like the kids are getting nastier and nastier as the years go by. This is grammar school, 5th grade. My daughter is timid by nature. She said she didn't fight back because she didn't want to get into trouble. | |
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gemini13 said: PurpleJedi said: What age range are we dealing with?
You should at minimum document the event in writing by sending a letter to the principal and cc: the school board. Explain the events as described by your child and the subsequent actions of the school staff. I am dreading the upcoming school years for my young kids for this very same reason. There's always been bullying in school, but it seems like the kids are getting nastier and nastier as the years go by. This is grammar school, 5th grade. My daughter is timid by nature. She said she didn't fight back because she didn't want to get into trouble. At 5th grade it's serious enough for the school to take action. BTW: when I was in 3rd grade the same thing happened to me. A kid started hitting me and I didn't hit back because I was terrified of getting into trouble. I remember thinking that I would be sent to the principal's office for fighting...and I was too much of a goody-goody for that. Fortunately another kid saw what was happening and told the teacher. HE GOT SUSPENSION...and we're talking about 3rd grade!!! My 8yo son is a chip off the old block...introverted and small for his age. I enrolled him in Karate - which he goes to begrudgingly - but I'm sure that he will thank me for it later. I hope. By St. Boogar and all the saints at the backside door of Purgatory! | |
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PurpleJedi said: gemini13 said: This is grammar school, 5th grade. My daughter is timid by nature. She said she didn't fight back because she didn't want to get into trouble. At 5th grade it's serious enough for the school to take action. BTW: when I was in 3rd grade the same thing happened to me. A kid started hitting me and I didn't hit back because I was terrified of getting into trouble. I remember thinking that I would be sent to the principal's office for fighting...and I was too much of a goody-goody for that. Fortunately another kid saw what was happening and told the teacher. HE GOT SUSPENSION...and we're talking about 3rd grade!!! My 8yo son is a chip off the old block...introverted and small for his age. I enrolled him in Karate - which he goes to begrudgingly - but I'm sure that he will thank me for it later. I hope. I was just doing research on school violence, and it is suggested that parents enroll their kids in the martial arts. There are times when I wish she were as strong willed as I am, but she's not. | |
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Am I the only one wanting to go yank a chunk of that boy's parents' hair?
I'm firmly planted in denial | |
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For his own good the boy needs some punishment and a bit of a scare. | |
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Hearing stuff like this makes me
That punk is gonna grow up thinking that its okay to assualt a woman if action isn't taken... Stick it to the parents too... I'm a father of 2 girls So dayumm right I'm mad | |
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Nothinbutjoy said: Am I the only one wanting to go yank a chunk of that boy's parents' hair?
Nope. | |
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Oh my god!!! I am sorry this happened. You should definitely deal with the administration of the school and demand that this kid be expelled or dealt with and think about putting her in a safer environment. I'm sorry you are dealing with this 2010: Healing the Wounds of the Past.... http://prince.org/msg/8/325740 | |
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applekisses said: gemini13 said: I'm afraid that my daughter is doing better than I am.
She told me that she actually saw the mother drag her son into the office saying,"Just tell them you didn't do anything." WTF?!!? Well, that explains why her son is a monster. I fear for society with people like her raising folks. Absolutely , the parent and principal acted incredibly stupid and irresponsable . And although your daughter is timid by nature , she should toughen up herself to a more defensive and aware position , even if she's not willing ... it's for her own good in the future . This in order to prevent such a scene for a next time or that she could get a complex about it , which might grow unconciously in her mind , and can express itself in all kinda situations . Some years ago , a guy almost annoyingly hitted on purpose a grandma in a street , while he was jerking on his motorcycle . Another guy who saw it said something about the behaviour to the motorguy . The jerk stepped of his cycle , took off his helmet and beated the other guy to death with the helmet while a friend of the motorfool encouraged him . Next thing when the parents of the motorjerk were interviewed on tv , they answered it was an act from "above". They eventually took back those words , but only after they were told how stupid their answer was . | |
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I'm not impressed by how the school handled the situation. The boy's parents should've been called immediately. The kid sounds like he has issues.
I hope your daughter is doing well. No More Haters on the Internet. | |
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Sounds like a possible lawsuit because the school is ALWAYS responsible for your child while the child is on campus during the school day no matter what. | |
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that's horrible. i am so sorry. make sure that that kid is punished. follow up. if nothing happens, or it happens again, start calling the police and the superintendant of the school district Power tends to corrupt; absolute power corrupts absolutely. - Lord Acton | |
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I'm sorry but fuck that. Call the police. Let them scare the daylights out of him. His little punk ass will do this again to your daughter and then he will threaten her not to tell anyone. It happened to two of my children. They were bullied and picked on all the time until I transfered them to another school.
Make sure, if you haven't, that you talk to your daughter and tell her she can always come to you and to never be afraid to tell you anything. This pisses me off and it ain't even my kid. | |
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Thanks everyone. My guts are still in a bind, my daughter knows she can tell me anything.
There is still a part of me that wants to meet this mother face to face. Not to be violent, but to let her know exactly what I think of someone who teaches their child to respond and resolve conflict with violence. | |
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