my oldest daughter (11) started middle school. She has a different teacher for math, english, science, etc.
she likes school so far and has adjusted to being with different teachers and running from class to class. Her grades have been great.
she came home from school friday, and told my wife that the art teacher (who in her 11 year old mind is "dreamy") put his hand on my daughters hip, in the course of instructing her something. (no sick jokes please) We weren't able to tell if it was her hip, or tush, or whether or not it was accidental, or what.
my wife and i talked over the weekend, and to my daughter...and we decided the best thing to do would be call the school, and let them know what happened.
We're not trying to be alarmists, but we also don't want to be naive. We told the school what happened, and that we didn't want to ruin anyone's career, nor did we want our daughter to be stigmatized...but we couldn't not say something.

it's not easy being a parent sometimes, and I'm sure it's not easy being a teacher either.
Thanks for listening

What was your daughter's reaction to it? Did she feel uncomfortable or was she nonchallante? Some things can be taken way too far but you can't ever be careful enough it seems. Hard not to overreact considering the state of childrens safety these days. I hope nothing really happened to her.....

You did the right thing, purplerein. That teacher should know better than to be putting his hands where they do not belong. I hope the school keeps their eye on him. There is too much of this stuff going on in school nowadays, it seems.

wow, hard call.

what was he instructing her on? certainly, if it were something to do with body form or posturing related to the subject...

i don't know. i spent so much time as a kid in theatre, that teacher/director touching my body whie working on a peice doesnt bother me. i imagine in some contexts, it would translate to an art class.

personally, if it were me, depending on how my daughter described it and what was going on at the time, i would make a mental note and inform my daughter to tell me if similar happened again, and leave it at that for now.

good on her for telling though.
[Edited 10/3/06 13:35pm]

It's unfortunate that you would have to worry about your child's safety when she's in school, but nowadays there's no way to know a person's motives so you did do the right thing by reporting it. Perhaps even if it was just really nothing (in regards to the touch) at least it would put this particular teacher on notice about being more aware of his actions with his students.

Hmmm...
It's such a shame that we live in a society where sexual assult is so common that our children's teachers can't even touch them.

applekisses said:

I agree.

applekisses said:

A touch on the shoulder or arm would be one thing. the fact that it was her hip near her tush, that made her say something.

1FRO said:

[quote:d22222835]It's unfortunate that you would have to worry about your child's safety when she's in school, but nowadays there's no way to know a person's motives so you did do the right thing by reporting it. Perhaps even if it was just really nothing (in regards to the touch) at least it would put this particular teacher on notice about being more aware of his actions with his students.[/quote:d22222835]

Agreed!

purplerein said:

It's good that your daughter told you about what happened.

psychodelicide said:

Teachers do have background checks before they can teach in school, unfortunately some offenders slip through the net.

I would just keep a close eye on the situation and if it happens again talk to the school. Im glad she told you Purplerein.

..
[Edited 10/3/06 16:13pm]

Being a male teacher would be terrifying.

Not saying you shouldn't be concerned. . . .I would be too. . . but I feel bad for teachers, 'cause innocent things can be misinterpreted.

In this case, I think you have to follow your instincts to protect your child.

gosh, yeah

when I was 13 or so, our math teacher used to pull on our bra straps at the back to flick our backs. I remember being embarassed because I didn't wear a bra yet, just a singlet.

He would not get away with that these days

LleeLlee said:

Yup, I realize that teachers do get their background checked before they become teachers. As you said, some offenders do slip through the cracks somehow, which is unfortunate.

I'd leave it alone , if your daughter is ok about it, and just be careful to listen to what she says in the future about said teacher, and tell her it's ok to tell the teacher she doesn't like to be touched, ask her to tell you if it happens again.


It's my experience that if you make a bigger deal about something then it really is then kids tend to follow suit and the incident, if there even was an incident, becomes even bigger and takes on more meaning in their minds.


If it really is bothering you, then I sugesst talking to the teacher, not the principal about it... maybe it's because I'm a teacher and not a parent...but even if he is completely 1000% innocent...that shit gets around with a quickness and it will damage him.

WillyWonka said:

I hug my kids, once in a blue moon ...but I know who I can't hug and I always do it in that one armed sideways hug when lots of folks are around.

In truth the kids come at me for hugs.... it makes me uncomfortable...but maybe they need love.

ZombieKitten said:

whaaa? hunt that bastard down...that's kinda creepy.

Sweeny79 said:

yeah

unlucky7 said:

why is that funny?

Sweeny79 said:

uh nothing...

unlucky7 said:

Just be thankful your daughter's not a congressional page

purplerein said:

I didn't realize it was so close to her bum. I was picturing a hand on the hip ala the "I'm a little teapot" dance.
If she felt uncomfortable about it...that says something big. Even if it was meant in innocence SHE didn't feel comfortable and it's her body. It's good that she told you about it. It's better not to take any chances.
[Edited 10/3/06 18:14pm]

Sweeny79 said:

good point

It's a hard call, but I would base my reaction on your daughter's feelings.
Has it happened before?
Did it make her feel uncomfortable?
Does he do it to other students?

Some people are touchy-feely.
Others are perverted.

It's dificult to tell the difference...so monitor the situation.

That's a tough one ....but it is you that knows ur daughter best .....how she reacted, why she thought to mention it etc...Im sure u did what was best for her

I'm sorry to hear about this. As a young male middle school teacher I have had to deal with "delicate" situations on a couple occasions, epsecially in my first year at the middle school(which was when I was all of 24 Years old!) I actually had 1 year of previous experience at the elementary school level and was used to touchy feely kids. There was one young lady in particular who would come to my tutorial sessions on Tuesdays during lunch after school and would always give me a hug. I was ok with it. Then she noticed one of the other kids hug me and got all crazy. She asked me why did I hug the other girl and did I love the other girl. I told her I love all my students, you are all my favorites, and I will treat you all like I would my own children. She then went to the counselor all depressed and we had to have a sit down with the parents, the counselors, and the principal. Take into consideration I teach Reach/Reading recovery which is a branch of special ed.The understanding I got from the meeting was that this young lady had a crush but I was oblivious too it. Now I am super careful. I also currently have my baby cousing Alyssa in my class (my 13 year old cute as a button cousin!) as my T.A. Even though she is a blood relative and always wants to give me hugs and eat lunch in my room.I have to keep this to a limit cause I don't want people to think wrongly. Which almost happened when one of the kids heard her say.. "I love you big cousin,, see you this weekend." The student that heard this had no idea we were related and looked shocked and my cousin told me all about it. Which is weird cause I have a picture on my desk of all my family from a reunion that I pass around to the kids every year and she's in it! But I suppose its better to be safe than sorry!
[Edited 10/4/06 0:34am]