romantic is holding you when you're scared. it's saying, "let's go for a walk together, just cause I like your company"...it's bringing chicken soup and a comic book on a tray to the other one sick in bed with a cold...it's love notes and things like that.

Byron, I gotta agree with you on defining "romantic" in the little things.

Sunday, my g/f was shopping in the supermarket after church, and she knew I would be leaving church later. When i called her, she asked if she could pick up some food for me.

It wasn't a huge gesture and she thought it funny, later, that I'd been touched by it. But it just conveyed that she'd been thinking of me.

She and I try to do stuff like that for each other all the time. She's great.

luv4u said:

Its the thrill of the chase in the beginning.....but the longer you stay with someone, it becomes impractical from a male point of view....and honestly speaking, women often forget that its ok to keep up personal appearances as the relationship goes on.....but we're expected to accept it....granted, I never wanted a made-up Barbie doll waiting at the door for me every day...again not practical....but Jeez....it is ok to look like u didn't just roll out from under a rock...it goes both ways....men are visual creatures...so if it LOOKS like ur still interested, then that will motivate us to ACT on the interest....ergo, candy...flowers....walks in the park....romance...

...thrill of the chase....keeps the blood flowing.....

Byron said:

No, that's how I'd show my love for my wife. Busting my a$$ to make sure she's well-cared for.

luv4u said:

I believe you shouldn't take statements of love and the failure of love from anyone who is a failure at love. The ideal of "you don't bring me flowers anymore" saddens me to the state of mind those who so long looking for love are in. The Objects are not romance, they are tokens of romance. They are the smallest statements of love. Love is the statement, and it should be stated suchly. So many newly romanced couples scoff at the fact that my wife and I share the same walet and keep track of our personal spendings so that we fairly divy up that factor of household funds. Those same people are the one's we laugh at when less then a couple of years they are more fucked up about the topic due to a nasty break up.

Love is the feeling of acceptances. Expressions of such are not needed in true romance for they are there all the time. Maybe those that think romance dies are just blinded to it because they have their silly idealistic natured imaginary icons of what love and romance should look like. What you seek you shall find.
[Edited 10/3/06 15:24pm]

ThreadBare said:

...couldn't agree more...

The bigger romantic things mixed in with all the smaller aspects, I feel, make for a more fulfilling relationship...at least for me, anyway. Everyone's different.

uPtoWnNY said:

Ah, ok...

So what makes her feel loved, appreciated, valued and passionate? The same things?

MickG said:

That should have read walet

JustErin said:

you know....the pix I send to you are meant to be kept between us and not for the org collective to know about.

jerseykrs said:

ok it all makes perfect sence now lol

Byron said:

Yep, plus the qualities I mentioned earlier - friendship, loyalty, respect and trust.

Byron said:

Your awesome!
Not just because you love Coke either..

uPtoWnNY said:

I fully agree with you, this is what romance is really about..and sex, of course.

Byron said:

Yes we are.

JustErin said:

With me, it all starts with friendship. If you don't look at your significant other as someone to pal around with, confide in, completely trust, do goofy sh!t with, there's no love. What's the point in being together, unless you look at him/her as a piece of ass or a meal ticket.

uPtoWnNY said:

I am so with you on this.

I've never been into your typical romance stuff. Flowers and all that jazz mean nothing to me, but come over and just chill with me, laugh with me, confide and share with me, mix that with sexual attraction and I'm all over you. Being really close to someone is what romance really is to me. It is not about getting tokens of your affection, because, to me, it's so superficial. Anyone can give you things, do nice things for you.
[Edited 10/3/06 19:21pm]

JustErin said:

Liking someone, enjoying spending time with them, and finding them attractive.

Shanti1 said:

I make a pretty good Org husband, huh...lol

Spats said:

Curative powers

According to food historians, chicken soup was already being prescribed as a cure for the common cold in Ancient Egypt. The 10th century Persian physician Avicenna also referred to the curative powers of chicken soup in his writings. In the 12th century the Jewish sage Maimonides wrote that chicken soup "has virtue in rectifying corrupted humours", and recommended it as nutrition for convalescents; Maimonides also particularly recommended chicken soup for people suffering from hemorrhoids and the early stages of leprosy.

In modern medicine, research conducted by Dr. Stephen Rennard, professor of pulmonary and critical care medicine, and his colleagues at the University of Nebraska Medical Center in Omaha, suggests that there might be some scientific basis for the curative powers of chicken soup. They found that the particular blend of nutrients and vitamins in traditional chicken soup can slow the activity of certain white blood cells. This may have an anti-inflammatory effect that could hypothetically lead to temporary ease from symptoms of illness. Their research was published in 2000 in the scientific journal Chest (volume 118, pages 1150-1157: "Chicken Soup Inhibits Neutrophil Chemotaxis In Vitro")[1]. This was not, however, an in vivo clinical trial, and did not demonstrate that chicken soup was the best foodstuff for this purpose.

Because it is simple to prepare, relatively cheap, nutritious, and easy on the digestive system, chicken soup is a good food for winter convalescents. Probably more significant, sipping warm soup can clear the sinuses because of the steam ventilating into the nasal passages, serving as a natural decongestant, which also relieves cold and flu symptoms. Last but not least, chicken soup can be beneficial due to the placebo effect of comfort foods.

TMPletz said:

Bull, it does not help. Just an excuse to eat.

Spats, I think that if you actually got a girl like the one you say you want you wouldn't be able to keep her. She'd walk all over you like a doormat.

From what I've read on various threads, you seem to be intent on keeping "babes" at arms length. Once you really like someone it will change and you won't care about acting like a "sissy" or rules like "no morning sacktime" or "no bad faces during fellatio." You'll like the girl so much that you will want to make her happy--because making her happy makes you happy too. (You want to be happy, don't you?) And like it or not, the little things you'll do to make her happy--whether it's seeing a movie that you know she wants to see, or telling her about something that happened you know she'll appreciate--will be romantic! Romantic does not equal wimpiness or being a pussy/sissy... I hate the flowers/jewelry/expensive dinner crap...I'd much rather have a guy that will go vinyl hunting and share my excitement when I find a Controversy album, with shower poster in mint condition, for $3; or go to the new Voillard exhibition at the Met with me. That's romantic (to me); and I dare you to tell me you honestly consider that wimpy (esp. vinyl hunting!).


[Edited 10/3/06 23:05pm]

jone70 said:

I have really liked every woman i have been with. I wouldn't have nailed them if i didn't. You don't have to act like a wimp or lose your dignity when you really like someone. The two should not go hand in hand. I have managed to stay away from doing that.

I know what you mean about the right type of woman i want. I want a girl that's cool and pretty. No flowers or candlelight dinners and stupid poetry. A cool girl. Not silly romance girls. A girl like you said that you could pal around with,with none of the typical relationship issues involved.

Spats said:

You need an excuse to eat??...

Byron said:

Byron said:

I agree with you there Byron...although I have to say, I would probably hate something like the situation you described, it would make me feel really uncomfortable. I am one of these women who really doesn't like too much fuss. Probably why my husband does things like writes poetry and just leaves it for me.

And to take in Spats' comment on this, It's not always the man that does stuff (you have proved that you don't do anything at all!!), I do the odd romantic thing, cards, wash his car(it's a classic and his babty!), make sure his lunch is ready to take to work with him and put notes in or some sort of treat....

The only problem with this type of thread is people start to look at their own actions and those of other people, and judge them on what they think is the "right" way to behave. Reading back over the posts, mine included, its almost like people are trying to justify what they do or what they believe is right...

Spats said:

You are sooooo ignorant.

Spats said:

I am sure there is that type of woman out there, I have known a few that absolutley hate anything to do with romance. Having said that, I thnk most people, maybe you too Spats, like to be thought of in a special way from time to time. You know, when someone goes out of their way for you, maybe they spot an album you were after and they get it for you as a gift... wouldn't you like that even?

FuzzyD said:

Yes, i would like that. But finding cool pretty girls is not easy.