Well, it appears you expect -- or, at least, want -- a certain sort of behavior that you're not likely to get through your approach. It's not a progressive approach. It stalls and forces abandonment by either you or the woman in question.

It's like hitting an egg with a hammer when you're hungry: The hammer cracked the egg easily, but don't expect it to cook your egg like a stove would.

I think i want a pretty girl who i can hang around with and do stuff with and be friends with and have sacktime with. But not have to do the romantic crap and dating routine and everything that goes with that.

I don't understand what you mean.

I mean your approach to relationships is sufficient for starting them, but not for maintiaining or growing in them. It's self-defeating and causes one or both of you to abandon the interaction altogether.

Thanks for the advice.

I have taken her out to dinner and to the movies and to harbourfront. Stuff like that. I like her a lot but i am not a romantic person. i cringe when it comes to stuff like that. I feel silly and stupid when i have done it. it's not really me.

You're forgetting a very important factor here. SHE'S blowing HIM off. Coming up with any BS at this point will be irrevocable. Adding fuel to the fire.
Not to mention, it's a "saving one's dignity" approach, from my perspective.

1.Not into the "couple thing", but want to "hang out", ie SCREW....Can ya make it more obvious??? Unless you mention PLATONIC friendship...define the terms.

2.She's already given up on the "trust" issue.....all he wants is to screw her..and she just realized it. USED comes to mind. Trust just seems a little past tense here. Moving on is logical.

3. She's already asked herself; is this the right guy for me? Let me think, NO.

Are you really trying to help Spats?? OK....I'm going to assume you're being funny and I misread it all.

Never heard...I miss her.... she's a good friend.....I really care about her and need to see her... and smell her scent,..hold her hand, touch her face..NOOOO Romance is out, and fucking is out too.

On the other hand...
Haven't read the response to what you were doing instead of going out with her and her friends which PO'd her in the 1st place. How long have you 2 known each other? If she's needy and has to have you at her side all the time....no amt. of sack time is worth the insecurity of clinginess. That's a form of control you don't need.
[Edited 9/27/06 21:43pm]

Seriously.
Have you been caught in public places with other females? which got back to her?? You seem to have a woman scorned on your hands. They're pretty cold, deservedly so.
[Edited 9/27/06 21:55pm]

I'm not stupid and why the fuck I enter this conversation to receive lectures is beyond me. I'm addressing Spats on his own terms, because perhaps by chance in one million years if he has enough conversations with women who take him seriously he will realize we are far more complex beings than he is capable of surmising at the moment. I implied that it is probably too late to bag the chick, and you know what? I couldn't care less.

You're forgetting a very important factor here. SHE'S blowing HIM off. Coming up with any BS at this point will be irrevocable. Adding fuel to the fire.
Not to mention, it's a "saving one's dignity" approach, from my perspective.

1.Not into the "couple thing", but want to "hang out", ie SCREW....Can ya make it more obvious??? Unless you mention PLATONIC friendship...define the terms.

2.She's already given up on the "trust" issue.....all he wants is to screw her..and she just realized it. USED comes to mind. Trust just seems a little past tense here. Moving on is logical.

3. She's already asked herself; is this the right guy for me? Let me think, NO.

Are you really trying to help Spats?? OK....I'm going to assume you're being funny and I misread it all.

Never heard...I miss her.... she's a good friend.....I really care about her and need to see her... and smell her scent,..hold her hand, touch her face..NOOOO Romance is out, and fucking is out too.

On the other hand...
Haven't read the response to what you were doing instead of going out with her and her friends which PO'd her in the 1st place. How long have you 2 known each other? If she's needy and has to have you at her side all the time....no amt. of sack time is worth the insecurity of clinginess. That's a form of control you don't need.
[Edited 9/27/06 21:43pm]

Seriously.
Have you been caught in public places with other females? which got back to her?? You seem to have a woman scorned on your hands. They're pretty cold, deservedly so.
[Edited 9/27/06 21:55pm]

I just thought of this. I'll go check her myspace page. If our Harbourfront photo is still up maybe i still have a shot.

Link us spats, to her myspace page

Do u want to be in a relationship or just have a sex buddy?

I think i want a pretty girl who i can hang around with and do stuff with and be friends with and have sacktime with. But not have to do the romantic crap and dating routine and everything that goes with that.

That's not ever going to happen.

I don't think it will either. Because of the women. But i have been told to stop lumping women altogether. That women are all different. Nope, don't think so.
[Edited 9/28/06 13:59pm]

No, dippy....it's because of YOU. You're too afraid of rejection to make a move. That is so pussy. No girl respects that kind of attitude.

You're lazy, get a hooker

actually spats kind of has a point. beCAUSE our culture has certain dating traditions and gender roles. i hate the same things about dating he does the formulaic sameness of the mating ritual and the pre-programmed expectations which arise from certain settings. it's... posed or something.

and he's actually right that women aren't encouraged to make the first move but are, in fact, taught to be passive. women who move on men are 'hussies'.

but, i dunno spats. maybe you're forgetting the human peice of the equation. people have feelings no matter whether they intend to just be friends and sex buddies and be together and also comfortasly apart, they still have feelings. she might be hurt because you bailed on her the other night. even if that's only her perception of what happened she might still be hurt. maybe you could find a way to reassure her that you like her.

then again, she might be one of those controlling or clingy folk who decide for you when you'll do this or that. i hate that crap. if she's trying to stuff you into a mold of her own design labeled 'perfect boyfriend' run like hell.

No, dippy....it's because of YOU. You're too afraid of rejection to make a move. That is so pussy. No girl respects that kind of attitude.

I know you were trying to help him. Sorry about the lecture. He's just not helpable. He's a victim of himself.

I don't think it will either. Because of the women. But i have been told to stop lumping women altogether. That women are all different. Nope, don't think so.
[Edited 9/28/06 13:59pm]

No, dippy....it's because of YOU. You're too afraid of rejection to make a move. That is so pussy. No girl respects that kind of attitude.

I am not lazy at all.

My buddy is gonna talk to her tommorrow and see what's up. I am hoping he can soften her up.

Direct just doesn't work for you at all here, does it?