A guy calls a company and orders their 5-day, 10 lb.weight loss program.

The next day, there's a knock on the door and there stands before him a
voluptuous, athletic, 19 year old babe dressed in nothing but a pair of
Nike running shoes and a sign around her neck.

She introduces herself as a representative of the weight loss company. The
sign reads , "If you can catch me, you can have me."

Without a second thought, he takes off after her. A few miles later
huffing and puffing, he finally gives up. The same girl shows up for the
next four days and the same thing happens. On the fifth day, he weighs
himself and is delighted to find he has lost 10 lbs. as promised. He calls
the company and orders their 5-day, 20 pound program.

The next day there's a knock at the door and there stands the most
stunning, beautiful, sexy woman he has ever seen in his life. She is
wearing nothing but Reebok running shoes and a sign around her neck that
reads, "If you catch me you can have me". Well, he's out the door after
her like a shot. This girl is in excellent shape and it takes him a while
before he can continue, so for the next four days, the same routine happens
with him gradually getting in better and better shape.

Much to his delight on the fifth day he weighs himself only to discover
that he has lost another 20 lbs. as promised. He decides to go for broke
and calls the company to order the 7-day, 50 pound program.

"Are you sure?" asks the representative on the phone. "This is our most
rigorous program." "Absolutely," he replies, "I haven't felt this good in
years." The next day there's a knock at the door; and when he opens it he
finds Richard Simmons standing there wearing nothing but pink running shoes
and a sign around his neck that reads,

"If I catch you, you're mine."

Who's Richard Simmons?

OH HOLY MOTHER OF GOD.

[Edited 9/20/06 9:48am]

roflmao....

this day is getting better