An Irish woman of advanced age visited her physician to ask his help in reviving her husband's libido.

"What about trying Viagra? asks the doctor.

"Not a chance", she said. "He won't even take an aspirin".

"Not a problem", replied the doctor. "Give him an "Irish Viagra". It's when you drop the Viagra tablet into his coffee. He won't even taste it.
Give it a try and call me in a week to let me know how things went".


It wasn't a week later that she called the doctor, who directly inquired as to progress.


The poor dear exclaimed, "Oh, faith, bejaysus and begorrah! T'was horrid! Just terrible doctor!"


"Really? What happened?" asked the doctor.


"Well, I did as you advised and slipped it in his coffee and the effect was almost immediate.
He jumped straight up, with a twinkle in his eye and with his pants a-bulging fiercely!


With one swoop of his arm, he sent the cups and tablecloth flying, ripped me clothes to tatters and took me then and there, making wild, mad, passionate love to me on the tabletop! It was a nightmare, I tell you, an absolute nightmare!"


"Why so terrible?" asked the doctor, "Do you mean the sex your husband provided wasn't good"?


"Oh, no, no, no, doctor, the sex was fine indeed! 'Twas the best sex I've had in 25 years! But sure as I'm sittin' here, I'll never be able to show me face in Starbucks again.

you racist

or maybe , even.

as an italian american, I'm offended. REPORTED!

Here's an Aussie one. It's dumb, but I admit it had me laughing:

An Expensive Slip...

Sheila, the Aussie housewife, got out of the shower and slipped on the bathroom floor. Instead of falling over forwards or backwards, she did the splits and suction-cupped herself to the floor.

She yelled out for her husband, "Bruce! Bruce!" Bruce came running in.

"Bruce," she cried, "I've suctioned myself to the damn floor!"

"Crikey!," Bruce exclaimed as he tried to pull her up. "You're stuck fast, girl. I'll go across the road and get me mate Wayne to help."

They came back and they both tried to pull her up.

"No way," Wayne said. "We can't do it -- so let's try Plan B."

"Plan B?" wondered Bruce. "What's that?"

"I'll go home and get me hammer and chisel and we'll break the tiles under her," replied Wayne.

"Right on," Bruce agreed, "while you're doing that, I'll stay here and play with her nipples."

"Play with her nipples?" Wayne wondered. "Not exactly a good time for that mate!"

"Well," Bruce replied, "I reckon if I can get her wet enough, we can slide her into the kitchen where the tiles are less expensive..."

For the record, no Irish person has ever said "Oh, faith, bejaysus and begorrah!".

We don't say T'was either.

T'was a good joke though.

AsylumUtopia said:

My Nana said "bejaysus" all the time.

And "feckin' bye!" ("fuckin' boy!") whenever one of her sons or grandsons was getting on her nerves.

Oooh it took me a second to get that Starbucks punchline


(sex in public is dope)

funkpill said: