Last week my grandmother couldn't make it to a family lunch, the first family gathering since my cousin Lisa's death, and Tuesday she was admitted to the hospital. I went to visit with her this morning and she said they found a mass in her breast and that she has cancer and it has spread to her lymph nodes and that her white blood cells are attacking her red blood cells

She had diarhea all week and this morning she had some blood in her stool. She said she does not want to have surgery or chemo. And as much as I want something, anything, to be done to keep her alive, I respect her decision not to take any action on it.

About 5 years ago she had triple bipass and over the course of the next year and a half had a recurring stomach infection. She was out of it most of the time and it took her a while to bounce back. Having been a nurse, she said she didn't want to go through surgery and chemo to extend her life by what...a couple of months and that she didn't want to suffer like the patients she cared for did. She feels she is too old to heal from the surgery and since the cancer is in 2 places that it will likely spread elsewhere if she disturbs it. I don't blame her for feeling that way and i will love her as much as possible until she is no longer here.

Does anyone know the survival rate for lymphoma?? Is lymphoma a quick cancer or one that lingers? I didn't have a chance to talk with the doctor this morning so I was just wondering what we might be facing.

Ah...sweetie... How much are you and your family gonna go through this year? I'm going to call and check on you this weekend, ok?
I love you. Please give your mom a hug for me, ok?

applekisses said:

I don't know My aunt, Lisa's mom, is really sick too. She is on dialysis I'll be in SF at the invasion but feel free to give me a call

SupaFunkyOrgangrinderSexy said:

I will baby...

Here's a good link, but it doesn't have success rates:

http://www.cancercenter.c...e&c=1289:1

I work somewhat with the tumor registry department of Mayo Clinic in Rochester, MN, and from the patients info that I've gone through, the success rate seems to be pretty good. In just about all the cases I've seen (which isn't too many since I am new to the department), the cancer has either been in remission, has reacted positively to treatments, or is stable and not gotten any worse.

I hope your grandmother makes it through with flying colors!

TMPletz said:

Thank you Well it started in her breast and spread to her lymph nodes. That is what the doctors said. I know what cancer is but I'm not really familiar with the rates of each kind. I know some are more dangerous than others. I would love for nothing more than to get back to Bingo with her She absolutely beamed this morning when she told me how happy it made her and my grandfather that I was spending so much time with them at Bingo

SupaFunkyOrgangrinderSexy said:

Awwwww sh!t....

Reading stuff like this brings back memories of my mother. Thanks to chemo & surgery she fought it for nearly eight years. It would go away and come back, go away and come back. But she couldn't take the pain and passed away three years ago, a week after our final Mother's Day. I used to look forward to that time of year - not anymore. What really hurts is I never got a chance to say goodbye. It'll stay with me the rest of my life.

All I can tell you is, spend lots of quality time with Nana.

uPtoWnNY said:

I have been and I will continue to do so. We spent 2 hours talking this morning and she said she was glad I came alone because it gave us the chance to be really open about a lot of stuff. She told me a lot of things I didn't know, including a lot of things that happened when I was little and how she tried to intercede in different family issues. I took the opportunity to tell her that I had made peace with my father so that she could have a better sense of peace if she is to be leaving us soon.

It's been a hard 6 months for our family and this is a lot for everyone to deal with and I told her after she told me how happy she and grandpa were that I was spending time with them, I told her that it was important to me and that I realized how important it was to them. We had such a lovely conversation this morning

I am really sorry for your loss Uptown. I think the best thing that any of us can do is tell our loved ones how much we love them because you never know how long you have them.....

SupaFunkyOrgangrinderSexy said:

Sorry to hear about your grandmother. I can related to what you are going through when I found out that my grandmother had breast cancer years ago. Luckily the cancer was in early stages and it was curable. Still my grandmother had high spirits and also a strong woman who even had to take care of her late son who was paralyzied and despite all the doctor visits and the surgury she had to undergo to remove the lump and her breast.

I hope that everything goes well for your grandmother if she decides to fight it and tried to think of the good memories that you had and will have with her and that is what I did when I went through this and you will be in my prayers.

ladygirl99 said:

Thank you lady

There are always aggressive or semi-aggressive forms. Depends on which one it is. Hodgkins Lymphoma or Non-Hodgkins Lymphoma... and what stage it is in...

every case is independently different... as in how one reacts/responds to such disease... emotionally, physically, mentally and spiritually.

http://www.lymphomainfo.n...phoma.html

~Hugs Richard. Time is important at every moment... whether there is illness or there is health. A beloved healthy person can be gone in a mere second. The most important value in life is... to be aware of this before something devastedly happens, or... to realize this before it is too late.

I love you. So beautiful to hear you have had this time with your grandmother.

SupaFunkyOrgangrinderSexy said:

You got that right. That's my biggest regret.

But on a happier note, my brother & his wife are expecting their third child(finally a girl) in mid-October, around Mom's birthday. They're naming her after Mom too, which is awesome. She'll be the only girl in the family, and with so many men around, she'll be treated like a little princess.

uPtoWnNY said:

That is awesome Even though you didn't get to say everything you wanted before she left, she knows how you feel

I have a friend who has been battling non-hodgkins lymphoma for 8 years.

Right now she is good, she has to go for chemo every 6 months.

Things are looking very positve for her.

I am sorry to hear this Richard.. It makes me so sad.

sag10 said:

Thanks Sag

SupaFunkyOrgangrinderSexy said:

Supa and uptownNY

Supa, you don't mention your Grandma's age, which may also be a big factor, but I am happy to hear that you're spending so much quality time with her. That's soo important. Prepare yourself as best you can for whatever she decides to do and stay in prayer.

On Thanksgiving day it will be one year since I lost my mom to liver cancer. By the time they found it it was far advanced and there was nothing they could do. She was gone within a week. She was my best friend and it's been tough, but at least she didn't linger in suffering. She was one of those people who everybody came to for comfort and nurturing. She was everybody's mom. The most compassionate person I've ever known. I miss her terribly, but I feel blessed to have been born to her.

At least me and my sons got to say everthing we wanted to say to her and the hospice staff was wonderful to us. At times, there were so many people in her room I was sure they would throw us out of there. That's how much she was loved.

On that last day when she was non responsive, we each took out turns saying our goodbyes, reading Psalms and praying. The hospice nurse guided us through each stage and even joined our prayers.

I'm praying that your Grandmother will be healed and that you have lots more time with her Supa. Please forgive the long story, but your post brought everything to the surface and I had to share it.

Love always...

Its 5 AM and I'm about to fall into bed, but I saw this and I love ya. You and HER are in my thoughts and prayers and I realize that my petty problems are nothing compared to something like this.

See you tomorrow, and .

Richard,

to you! Your grandma sounds like a wise woman. The best gift we can give is to know how we want serious illness treated, and how to go about it, so that the rest of our families know our wishes. It seems she is choosing quality over quantity, and, speaking as a former hospice chaplain, this is a good thing for you all so that you can focus on celebrating life with her. Some lymphoma treatments are quite a hard, painful experience on the patient, and she might just think she is too old to go through something like that...
"I am too old for this shit!" you are certainly in my prayers, dear one!

SupaFunkyOrgangrinderSexy said:

I do not know the facts right off hand

I lost my grandfather to it ( quickly ) and an aunt ( quickly )


to you honey ...stay strong and enjoy each moment you can with her