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Toxic Relationships What, to you is a toxic relationship ?
Have you been in one and for how long ? | |
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i'd say an underlying lack of respect, and certainly a lack of sense of humor about yourself and the other person would make a relationship toxic.
and yes, i've been there. never again. | |
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IrresistibleB1tch said: and yes, i've been there. never again. me too i have noticed even here on the Org people are constantly engaging in them so i was wondering if people do here on a fan site in public... what their relationships in private might mirror what they show here | |
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I could never be in an unhealthy relationship long enough for it to become toxic... | |
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Mach said: IrresistibleB1tch said: and yes, i've been there. never again. me too i have noticed even here on the Org people are constantly engaging in them so i was wondering if people do here on a fan site in public... what their relationships in private might mirror what they show here guilty as charged - there must be some hidden benefit. or at least a perceived one... | |
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Byron said: I could never be in an unhealthy relationship long enough for it to become toxic...
| |
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IrresistibleB1tch said: - there must be some hidden benefit. or at least a perceived one...
now that too wuld make for interesting conversation even with the ick involved there must be something maybe ... | |
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Anyone who pours hydrochloric acid on me. Thats when I consider it a toxic relationship.
Seriously, as soon as the first lie sets in, that when the spiral begins. (Insert something clever here) | |
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GD and me. | |
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DarkKnight1 said: Anyone who pours hydrochloric acid on me. Thats when I consider it a toxic relationship.
Seriously, as soon as the first lie sets in, that when the spiral begins. external outward lies ...or with also internal lies...the ones we sometimes make to ourselves ? | |
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jerseykrs said: GD and me.
like i said there IS a lot of it here in GD ... oozing with it lately though... i dont see you in constant engagement with it | |
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Mach said: DarkKnight1 said: Anyone who pours hydrochloric acid on me. Thats when I consider it a toxic relationship.
Seriously, as soon as the first lie sets in, that when the spiral begins. external outward lies ...or with also internal lies...the ones we sometimes make to ourselves ? External, we lie to and deceive ourselves everyday. When it effects others, especially loved ones, it only begins the end of all relationships. Unless your family, then you still forcefully meet each other for Christmas and Thanksgiving. (Insert something clever here) | |
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Mach said: jerseykrs said: GD and me.
like i said there IS a lot of it here in GD ... oozing with it lately though... i dont see you in constant engagement with it hahah, I avoid that stuff like the plague. But yeah, lies or doing something that you said you wouldn't is usually enough for me to cancel that shit before it even becomes toxic. | |
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...I'm usually the toxic one but trying to rise above it | |
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My relationship with "the org".
But it's getting better. Gone is the "passive-aggressive" Despues of old. I've decided to fit in a bit more, so now you can look forward to seeing a more direct, in-your-face ASSHOLE Despues posting from now on, YOU MUTHAFUCKIN' BITCH-SLUTS!!! Yeah!!!! Yay! Oh, and I will be posting a gratuitous array of photos, mostly of my beautiful fucking face, in a variety of poses on the hour, every hour, too!!! How's that!!??? Awesome!! Actually, not really. I think I'll just delete my account (again..again....again....etc). | |
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Mach said: What, to you is a toxic relationship ?
Have you been in one and for how long ? a toxic relationship i believe is any relationship be it between lovers, siblings, parents, and friends where one of the persons involved in it is emotionally dependant on the other. in addition the toxic one does not want to see the other gain happiness in anything or other person that does not involve them or that in some kind of way would change or take away more time from the toxic person and the relationship. i've had friends like this and i've been in a relationship like this for 10 years that i just got out of. its not a good thing. it can suck the life out of you. People like this you just have to walk away from or take back their power. | |
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brownsugar said: Mach said: What, to you is a toxic relationship ?
Have you been in one and for how long ? a toxic relationship i believe is any relationship be it between lovers, siblings, parents, and friends where one of the persons involved in it is emotionally dependant on the other. in addition the toxic one does not want to see the other gain happiness in anything or other person that does not involve them or that in some kind of way would change or take away more time from the toxic person and the relationship. i've had friends like this and i've been in a relationship like this for 10 years that i just got out of. its not a good thing. it can suck the life out of you. People like this you just have to walk away from or take back their power. Co-dependancy. Fuckin' org. You fuckers won't let me leave! And yet, somehow.....I need that? | |
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"What, to you is a toxic relationship ?"
When it hurts consistently. I've been in my share of them, but I learned a lot from going through them. | |
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JustErin said: When it hurts consistently.
BIG YES. Who said we don't agree on anything? | |
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My eyes are being opened by this thread. I'd never considered some of the extremes that have been listed.
I think a more moderate, though equally harmful symptom is this: being unable to be true to yourself, your dreams, your morals and values, your friendships or family, because of the bonds (as in chains) to a consistently unsupportive relationship. You know you're in a toxic situation, when you begin to hold back parts of yourself from that person -- be it your aspirations or thoughts -- and when you have trouble seeing yourself progressing and growing while staying with that person. Yes, I've been there. And, you'd be amazed at the types of people (and their offices and titles and positions) who can contribute negatively to a relationship. | |
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Ex-Moderator | ThreadBare said: My eyes are being opened by this thread. I'd never considered some of the extremes that have been listed.
I think a more moderate, though equally harmful symptom is this: being unable to be true to yourself, your dreams, your morals and values, your friendships or family, because of the bonds (as in chains) to a consistently unsupportive relationship. You know you're in a toxic situation, when you begin to hold back parts of yourself from that person -- be it your aspirations or thoughts -- and when you have trouble seeing yourself progressing and growing while staying with that person. Yes, I've been there. And, you'd be amazed at the types of people (and their offices and titles and positions) who can contribute negatively to a relationship. I think any time a relationship hurts you more than helps you, its toxic. And that can be lots and lots of different things, both from romantic relationships to freindships and aquaintances. However, going through these things is sometimes also how we learn and grow. We learn what we can and cannot tolerate in friends, partners, etc. |
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I think a toxic relationship is one where one person is happy at the expense of another person's misery. [Edited 9/17/06 12:20pm] | |
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to me a toxic relationship is one where you are unhappy with your partner, friend, or relative but instead of changing the situation you just feed into it.
I've been there with friendships before. I'm good at extracting myself from the situation once I recognize it but I am still unable to neutralize the anger that results from it. I try, but I have a feeling that it's going to be a long journey for me. | |
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brownsugar said: Mach said: What, to you is a toxic relationship ?
Have you been in one and for how long ? a toxic relationship i believe is any relationship be it between lovers, siblings, parents, and friends where one of the persons involved in it is emotionally dependant on the other. in addition the toxic one does not want to see the other gain happiness in anything or other person that does not involve them or that in some kind of way would change or take away more time from the toxic person and the relationship. i've had friends like this and i've been in a relationship like this for 10 years that i just got out of. its not a good thing. it can suck the life out of you. People like this you just have to walk away from or take back their power. So true, I've been in toxic relationships with all that you've mentioned, it can also pull you into where you yourself become the toxic person and the two feed off of each other. Over time I was able to walk away from the friends and lovers, as for the family I've put distance between us, I also have friends who are in relationships like this, but they don't see it or hear what I'm saying. I become the bad guy trying to come between them so I say nothing else and pray that they eventually come to see it for themselves. [Edited 9/17/06 20:16pm] | |
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CarrieMpls said: ThreadBare said: My eyes are being opened by this thread. I'd never considered some of the extremes that have been listed.
I think a more moderate, though equally harmful symptom is this: being unable to be true to yourself, your dreams, your morals and values, your friendships or family, because of the bonds (as in chains) to a consistently unsupportive relationship. You know you're in a toxic situation, when you begin to hold back parts of yourself from that person -- be it your aspirations or thoughts -- and when you have trouble seeing yourself progressing and growing while staying with that person. Yes, I've been there. And, you'd be amazed at the types of people (and their offices and titles and positions) who can contribute negatively to a relationship. I think any time a relationship hurts you more than helps you, its toxic. And that can be lots and lots of different things, both from romantic relationships to freindships and aquaintances. However, going through these things is sometimes also how we learn and grow. We learn what we can and cannot tolerate in friends, partners, etc. My pastor preached that very thing this morning. | |
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Stymie said: I think a toxic relationship is one where one person is happy at the expense of another person's misery.
[Edited 9/17/06 12:20pm] i think thats part of it as well. i also agree with what carrie and thready said also. this thread is a downer i've learned alot from the things that i've been through. | |
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Looking back at my failed relationships--which total 100% of the relationships I've been in--none of them were "toxic." they were all learning experiences, and while most of them were frightfully unhealthy, none of them were exactly "toxic." I consider them to be like Now brand cigarettes--unhealthy...but low tar and nicotine. | |
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SnakePeel said: Looking back at my failed relationships--which total 100% of the relationships I've been in--none of them were "toxic." they were all learning experiences, and while most of them were frightfully unhealthy, none of them were exactly "toxic." I consider them to be like Now brand cigarettes--unhealthy...but low tar and nicotine.
But doesn't that still make it toxic tho? Unhealthy is unhealthy, right... | |
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7ellusion said: SnakePeel said: Looking back at my failed relationships--which total 100% of the relationships I've been in--none of them were "toxic." they were all learning experiences, and while most of them were frightfully unhealthy, none of them were exactly "toxic." I consider them to be like Now brand cigarettes--unhealthy...but low tar and nicotine.
But doesn't that still make it toxic tho? Unhealthy is unhealthy, right... Toxic, I think kills you quickly, like carbon monoxide. Unhealthy implies a slower death. But technically, you're correct--deadly IS deadly. | |
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SnakePeel said: 7ellusion said: But doesn't that still make it toxic tho? Unhealthy is unhealthy, right... Toxic, I think kills you quickly, like carbon monoxide. Unhealthy implies a slower death. But technically, you're correct--deadly IS deadly. True, true a slow and painful death, been there and done that and never going back. [Edited 9/18/06 9:44am] | |
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