A month ago.

The wedding was at 12.30pm and the reception was at 01.30pm. The bar was open; the waiters were serving free champagne and cocktails on a patio outside - but there was no food. No canapes, no buffet... Not even bowls of nuts on the bar.

We finally sat down to eat at half-past six in the evening, after five hours of drinking and everybody was mashed out of their heads. The food was awful. Really awful - but I ate it because I was hungry and drunk. The starter was liver pate on toast. You'd think the toast would at least have been cut into dainty triangles or something, but it wasn't. It was like a thick slice of low-grade white bread out of a packet which had been toasted to a cinder then allowed to cool, spread thickly with beige gloop and placed unceremoniously on a side-plate. I'd forgotten how disgusting liver pate is. It tasted like blood.

The main course was roast beef. I hadn't eaten beef for over three years and it was very nearly raw. I've never seen anything like it. There was blood on my plate. The vegetables were in a tray in the middle of each table and I think we were limited to three small potatoes each - and I mean small, like pebbles.

The dessert was a miniature lemon meringue which I think I ate in one mouthful to get rid of the taste of raw beef and liver pate.

People... If you get married, make sure that there is food on hand prior to your sit-down meal.
[Edited 9/3/06 7:14am]

i can't help but wonder how the married couple felt about how the reception went.

purplerein said:

Well, they're both vegetarians, so they wouldn't have had the disgusting pate/raw beef combo. I eat poultry and fish, but I'd rather have had the vegetarian option.

I guess I'll know soon enough what they thought of it all, as there were cameramen there from a TV Production company. There's a chance that I may be on network television later this year, in the background at their wedding, stumbling about drunk.

I'd been sat opposite a complete moron too - the groom's half-sister's boyfriend du jour... He flat-out said to me over dinner, "So you're a shirt-lifter then? I bet you want to suck my cock". I responded dryly, "Oh yeah, I'd just love to suck your cock. As rancid as it probably is, it probably tastes better than this beef". His girlfriend was just giggling nervously.

Later on, the meat-head came up to me, stating that as soon as we left the reception, he was going to "kick the shit out of me" as I'd apparently been staring at his arse all day. His girlfriend took him back to their hotel.

Last Year, my younger cousin was having an elborate shot gun wedding. My wife and I idealisticly bought them a gift of fine crystal, Dom Pigon, and other fine items totaling about 500 dollars. We were going a little extravagant.

We had thought it was a romantic thing, but it had an open bar and everyone just wanted to get drunk. Very disapointing. To boot they didn't even open our gift during the reception. Never even got a thank you card. I wonder if that gift got stolen.

Won't do that again.

what I meant is people do the best they can with the resources they have...the wedding couple probably hoped the food would be ok....i feel kinda sorry for them