can it be a tram story?

I used to catch a tram to work, and usually the only folks at my tram stop were me and Bob, the bum who lived in it.

One day there was this tall Carl Lewis lookalike there too, talking to Bob, who was pretending to sleep on the bench. So he turns to me, with his million dollar smile and American accent and says "Hi, I'm Bill!" and shook my hand, and I was so taken aback I was like

Anyway, we caught the tram every morning and he would let me read from his newspaper or he would read aloud from his novel to me. Or if he got on at another stop, he would come running over to me and sit right next to me, legs touching, even when the tram was empty. Soon it was a kiss hello!

We both had partners and he soon switched jobs

Here's another of my tram stories.

One time this guy was staring at me and was gesturing for me to come sit next to him, I was with my housemate and he was with his friend. I went over and sat by him and he says "kiss me" so I kissed him on the cheek and his mate was like so he obviously won his bet.

Handclapsfingasnapz said:

they needed to let loose some motherfuckin snakes on that motherfuckin bus

I really can't tell my stories. They are about sinnin!

Anx said:

Everybody has the same reaction you had when I get on the buss...I am glad I made your ride more enjoyable.

GaryTheNoTrashCougar said:

Glad u came out of that alright. School bus is a fucked up place.

SupaFunkyOrgangrinderSexy said:

yeah i take the bus and train a lot ....hate it.

I take the bus and subway to and from work everyday and have been for over 20 years. It takes me about 75 minutes each way. I usually get a seat and I immediately start to read.

What I really despise about public transit is those that think they are entitled to more than one seat. Those with packages, backpacks etc who think they can sprall themselves and their shit over 2 and sometimes even 3 seats. These MF's need to be taught that they have paid only 1 fare, so move your shit and let others sit down. I never miss an opportunity to tell someone to move. I do it politely at first and it usually works, but if not, I do get in their face. These type of self-centered people really piss me off.

I also think that some people should wear a lot more deodorant and others should wear a lot less cologne/perfume. And (one last rant) those who must talk on their cell phones, should keep their voices down because we don't give a shit what your plans are for the night/weekend.

My friend got flashed on a bus , lucky bitch

kisscamille said:

i remember one weekend a woman got on the bus and sat in front of me. as soon as she sat down, her perfume killed me. it's like she just got done bathing in it and decided to hop on the bus to let everyone know how good she smelled. and what's worse, she stayed on the entire half-hour i was on the bus. even cracking open a window to let some fresh air in didn't kill the odor.


plus them stupid nextel and boost mobile speakerphones NEED TO DIE IN A FIRE.



*brrt!* edit
[Edited 9/1/06 11:58am]

Handclapsfingasnapz said:

I hear ya Hands. Some people have no clue. Perfume can be nice, but one or two squirts is plenty, not half the bottle. I don't want to actually taste it when someone sits down beside me.

i just gotta ask: is it just me, or does it seem like there's at least one bus driver on every route who looks like this:

-- long-assed jerri-curled hair (almost like a jerri curl mullet, but not quite)
-- wears a pair of fingerless leather/pleather gloves
-- at least one gold tooth
-- a herringbone necklace

i remember one time i was on the #5 bus headed towards brooklyn center (suburb of mpls), and we were at a bus stop because the bus driver was done with his shift and was letting a new driver on. the next driver looked like what i described above. it was like he was frozen in time, like it was still 1988 or something.

i swear to gawd, all the people sitting towards the front of the bus (me included) tried our damndest not to totally bust out laughing at the brotha. it was beyond ridiculous.

Handclapsfingasnapz said:

girl.i hear ya!

where i live, there's the #45 bus.

i tell you it's comedy central....LIVE!

B.E.T.'s Comic View....ON WHEELS!

oh.about the cell phone thing too is on point as well.

you think the women are bad?

there was this one bus driver who wasn't drunk but he was talking on his cell phone to only heaven knows who.i'm sure it wasn't job- related because the way he was talking it was about something else.

here's my thinking:

sir, if you tryin to cop some booty....DO IT ON YOUR OWN TIME,NOT THE COMPANY'S !Cobb County ain't paying yo ass to get some ass,dig?

has discretion become a lost art?

Avatarfunk said:

On the train one time these two guys got on..one was drunk and they were having this convo about something. The drunk guy would talk and then fall asleep mid sentence. LOL. His friend got so mad that he kept doing that he slapped him upside his head and he fell off the seat.

It's romantic. I've only been on public transportation once.

SupaFunkyOrgangrinderSexy said:

you betta dish it out.

The bus can be a pain in the ass, especially all the people who love to give you their stupid opinions, AS LOUD AS THEY FUCKING CAN, AND RIGHT IN YOUR FUCKING EAR. lol

The #72 from the University District to Downtown Seattle, 1988.
So, I'm in the back of the bus, trying to keep the hour old lecture fresh in my brain by re-covering it in my Calculus book. Guy in a 3-piece, smart business suit inquires into my 'studies in molecular biology'. I tell him no, it is nothing to do with that, its Calculus...should have figured out at that point that this guy was going well out of his way to talk to me. Can't recall all the attempts he made to draw me in to conversation, but I gave up entirely when we were joined by a Viet Nam Vet who looked a lot like Cpt. Lou Albano who was nursing a beverage in a brown paper bag. The three of us had a good talk, about how hard life can be and how great the local music scene is, and I was enjoying the novelty of talking to these two people from profoundly different walks of life. It was only awkward insofar as they were both talking to me, but doing their best to not aknowledge each other. As the trip wound down, the 'Business Man' nervously asked me who was my 'beloved'. I remember the Vet scoffing over the use of the word, but I went ahead and flipped out my wallet picture of Selena - a picture I was pretty fond and proud of. I collected my comments and kudos, and 3 piece reached for a billfold, announcing "Here is my beloved!". He forked over a business card (at the same time, dropping a dozen others on the floor of the bus). "Its Karenna". On the card was a middle-aged woman with mystically applied mascara, with Karenna in bold. Beneath her name were about 2 dozen pseudonyms, all occult, "Miss 666" being the only one I can remember today. That 3 piece thought I might be interested in his Satanic Cult wasn't lost on the Vet: "Oh no. Oh no. I'm outta here". I followed him out as quickly as I could, really only a couple stops short of where I was going anyway, to get away from that guy. I gave the business card to Selena.

The #54 from the Downtown to West Seattle, 2000
I ignored everyone's recommendation to get out of work early, pushing it until 16:00. The previous day was the first of the WTO riots. I wrap up what I'm doing & head out when I hear the protesters are coming down are just about to turn and head S on 2nd, so I'm really only 10 minutes ahead of when they will reach my stop. I wait on 1st. My bus just barely passes the 'organized march' coming down Union - waiting to make its left turn onto 1st Ave. I can see the march continuing down 2nd behind it, when the unexpected happens. On the cross street further South of us, police had set up a barricade on 2nd. So just as soon as I boarded the bus, throngs of people start emptying from the march into the side streets, down Union, into the intersection of Union and 1st where they begin banging the sides of the bus with their fists. It was frightening, but the driver had no intention of letting anyone on...the bus lunged, braked, then lunged again. I can't believe no one was hit, but the beating people gave to the side of the bus felt like a response...like how did we have the nerve to want to escape from this mess. The bus made its way down the block, where police were in the process of forming another barricade. Seems the first step in setting up these barricades is to fire a bunch of tear gas...I don't know, perhaps to clear out some room before blocking the street with cop cars. The tear gas was let not to far ahead of our bus, and the bus driver (what was he thinking?) had his window down. The bus made it a block and a half down first before it had to stop...everyone on the bus was affected - mostly the driver - and I tried to communicate to people that if they got off this bus, there wasn't going to be another one behind it. A hundred yards beyond the barricade, the street was empty and eerily quiet...only the distant cries of the protest behind us. The bus driver got it together to drive 5 blocks, we were all nauseated, and there was inexplicably an ambulance waiting...the bus driver got off, walked to the nearest wall, and collapsed. A relief bus driver took us the rest of the way. Everyone cheered once we got on the viaduct. Last bus out of town!

bc

PeteZarustica said:

You wait ages for a good bus story, and then two come along at once!

I got on the bus once - and sat next to a lady Id never seen before - she kept looking at me and finally turned to me and said 'Hi Wendy - Im Julia - your sister..'

I knew My dad had a daughter from his first marriage but didnt know what she looked like

needless to say I nearly dropped dead on the spot.....

wendyrachel said:

omg!! wow...

I once played stink finger on a charter bus with my ninth grade girlfriend going to a television taping of Full House with the German Club.

Natisse said:

Crazy eh???

wendyrachel said:

are you still in touch with her??

purplerein said:

yes - a little