"DO NOT EAT PRINGLES FAT FREE POTATO CHIPS. THEY WILL GREASE YOUR ASS.

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Date: 2006-07-17, 2:10AM PDT


Don't even fucking say a word. I like potato chips, and can't eat them very much or I'll get fat.

I tried out these Pringles Fat-Free chips because they were super low-cal. BBQ flavor. the fuck.

The can said they had 70 calories per serving, which meant the whole can had 490 calories inside total. I could munch through a can in a day with my lunch, dinner, etc. So I got several cans, and began enjoying one a day for the past four days. But what they dont fucking tell you...

Except in tiny print you cant read without a fucking electron microscope

...is that the primary ingredient is something called "olean" which I have since learned is Latin for "Unwashable & Indestructible Ass Grease."

Oh Yeah. I'm not even kidding.

So today, while I'm standing in the living room debating whether or not Laundry or Dishes will get done first, I get the urge to fart. I live alone, so sweet. I let the honk loose and its wrong. Something just sounded wrong. I know my own wind, and I have never farted a sound that sounded like a fart wrapped in a pillow.

Oh yes, something was very wrong. I had just shat myself. But this evil olean makes shitting yourself sound almost like a regular fart, and had I not been particularly attentive, it could easily have gone unnoticed, I'm telling you. THAT's how utterly covert and evil this olean stuff is. What the fuck?! What if I'd gone out to hang with friends or gone for a drive, what then?

So I walk carefully to the bathroom and disrobe. before I even sit on the toilet, I wad paper and carefully wipe from the front. Sure enough, it was light brown, and had the texture of soft spackle. You fucking Pringle bastards.

I sat down and pushed a bit, and lo, out came a jet that I didnt even feel an urge for one minute earlier. It piled in the bowl like brown marshmallow fluff.

The problem rose when I tried to wipe. I went through a whole fucking roll of TP and could not get it all off me. So.

I jumped in the shower. Yep, its gross, but it had to be done. There I stood, water pouring down, cheeks spread, and using my own hand to make certain I'm clean.

That was when I discovered that after using my hand to wipe myself (before I soaped the area) my hand came back covered in some sort of transparent grease. It was so fucking foul. The grease made water bead off my hand. It was tacky too, and very difficult to manage.

So I grabbed the bar of saop and went to work.

You fucking Pringle bastards.

The bar of soap came away coated in grease as well, and would no longer wash. I had to turn the water to hot and massage the soap for five minutes to get it to the point where I could use it again. It took me an hour to get the fucking grease off my pucker. I shudder to think of what its doing INSIDE ME right now, but I will damned sure never eat that shit again.

Fucking Pringle bastards.

This is where the joke about "anal leakage" came from. its real. Fuck Pringles.


this is in or around ANAL LEAKAGE, ANYBODY?

no -- it's NOT ok to contact this poster with services or other commercial interests"

http://www.craigslist.org...62349.html

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Olestra was approved by the Food and Drug Administration for use as a food additive in 1996 and was initially used in potato chips under the WOW brand by Frito Lay. In 1998, which was the first year Olestra products were marketed nationally, sales were over $400 million. However, by 2000 sales slowed to $200 million, largely caused by the unappealing health warning label, which was mandated by the FDA:

This Product Contains Olestra. Olestra may cause abdominal cramping and loose stools. Olestra inhibits the absorption of some vitamins and other nutrients. Vitamins A, D, E, and K have been added.[1]
The warning was popularly misquoted as containing the phrase "anal leakage", which although not on the label, was indeed a problem with early formulations of Olestra that were not marketed.

The FDA removed the warning requirement in 2003, stating that consumers were now aware of Olestra's "GI effects" and were confused in thinking that they would lose fat-soluble vitamins by eating Olestra products. [2]

This removal caused a new launch of products by Procter & Gamble, Frito Lay, and others. The new products were changed from the "WOW" label to "Lights."


http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Olestra

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Anal Leakage --- "The More You Know!"

http://en.wikipedia.org/w...al_leakage

WTF!!! That shit is messed up!!

A lot of the low fat, lo carb, non-sugar ingredients that they use to replace sugar and oil have laxative tendencies. Watch out for things like sorbitol and malitol as well. Might taste pretty good, but large doses, I mean, er uh servings are definitely not reccommended

that was a sick and disgusting thing to read.

JohnTheBomb said:

i don't care

GaryTheNoTrashCougar said:

well. good. i'm not saying it wasn't entertaining!

well, grease my ass and call me a pringle.

I read that somewhere once.

So it's back to eating normal food in moderation. Not a pack of low-fat pringles a day. I'm not saying that the poor guy deserves this at all. If you want chips just have them, but don't get the ones full of low fat crap.

WE DON'T NEED THIS LOW FAT SHIT - just eat less and exercise more.

Thank you.

Anx said:

OMG that is the funniest shit ever ever EVER!!! Who wrote that?! I wanna meet them!!

read the side effects for Xenical, a prescription weight loss medicine..
What are the possible side effects of orlistat?
• Stop taking orlistat and seek emergency medical attention if you experience a rare allergic reaction including shortness of breath; closing of your throat; swelling of your lips, tongue, or face; or hives.
• Other, less serious side effects are more likely to occur. Continue to take orlistat and talk to your doctor if you experience
· oily spotting;
· oily or fatty stools;
· orange or brown colored oil in your stool;
· gas with discharge, an oily discharge;
· an urgent need to go to the bathroom;
· an inability to control bowel movements, or;
· an increased number of bowel movements.
• The bowel changes listed above are a natural effect of blocking fat and indicate that orlistat is working. They generally occur early in treatment, particularly after meals containing higher amounts of fat than are recommended. These symptoms are usually temporary and lessen or disappear as you continue treatment and keep to your recommended diet of meals containing 30% fat.
• Side effects other than those listed here may also occur. Talk to your doctor about any side effect that seems unusual or that is especially bothersome.

http://www.drugs.com/Xenical/index.html

just what you want when on a diet

purplerein said:

DAMN!!!

The FDA needs a complete overhaul. No one is watching them. They are allowing us to be poisoned with food and drugs. You must watch what you eat, and listen to your body. Stay away from fast foods/soda/and anything labeled "low fat" "low sugar" "diet"...synthetic material is added to these foods to make them appealing to eat, however these additives are poison. I truly believe the reason we're living longer is because of all the friggin preservatives in the foods we eat and not because we're healthy "We live too short and die too long"...Myron Wentz.

I knew there was a reason that I never eat healthy.

I'd rather eat what I want and exercise more than eat "healthy" foods and have this happen.