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PrintableCarrieMpls said: REDFEATHERS said: Yes I totally agree.. but what if you are TOLD it isnt real, by someone else who cares for you? Well, either they're a cynic or they suspect about your relationship with the person that you might not realize.  I think every situation is individual. But 'reality' is fluid. Can someone else tell you if your love is real? Of course not. But might they have inclinations that its different than you think? Well, yeah. Who's to say who's right? If you know in your heart you are, no one else's judgement matters.
Still sucks, though.  | |
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PurpleThunder said: When you care about someone its natural to feel for them if they are going through something
 Its hard to see the people you care about hurting and wishing you could take some of that hurt away. Its also wonderful to feel their joy, especially when you need a little burst of sunshine yourself.  OMG Terra, that is so true to what I am feeling...   you hit the nail on the head | |
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CarrieMpls said: REDFEATHERS said: Yes I totally agree.. but what if you are TOLD it isnt real, by someone else who cares for you? Well, either they're a cynic or they suspect about your relationship with the person that you might not realize. I think every situation is individual. But 'reality' is fluid. Can someone else tell you if your love is real? Of course not. But might they have inclinations that its different than you think? Well, yeah. Who's to say who's right? If you know in your heart you are, no one else's judgement matters.
Still sucks, though. I co-sign everything Carrie's said so far. I think it only becomes an issue when you care about someone else so deeply, you put your own wants and needs on the backburner. To care about another person so much is admirable; just make sure you also take care of yourself in the process.
Trust your instinct. And your gut feeling. Only *you* know how you truly feel, Red. And if - as I've no doubt they are - your intentions are sincere, then don't worry what other people think. But perspective is always a good thing.
I hope you're feeling okay, Nicole. Take care. | |
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ThreadBare said: Anx said: i think some people misread genuine care for something that requires a payment in return, which unfortunately i think is a symptom of the world we live in. "nothing comes for free". "if it seems too good to be true, it probably is." all that kind of cynicism. the famous group of artists called the fluxists used to have a list of extremely random acts of kindness that they would perform anonymously, presumably because the idea of doing something kindly and creative at the same time seemed like the perfect form of performance/process art to them. we need more of that. Yup. Wow, thanks ThreadBare and Anx - I wonder why ppl feel the need for others to stop caring? I know maybe cos they dont want them to get hurt, but to just say, *Stop caring and move away* well fuck.. I just cant do that.. to me it would be like saying, stop breathing.. | |
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Mach said: REDFEATHERS said: ..and you feel their pain, joy or happiness
Is this feeling real or foolish? Serious answers please It's very very real hey beautiful | |
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What is empathy?
Carl Rogers (1975) wrote: ...the state of empathy or being empathic is to perceive the internal frame of reference of another with accuracy and with the emotional components and means which pertain thereto as if one were the person, but without ever losing the 'as if' condition (Quoted in Gallo 1989). The American Heritage Dictionary of the English Language defines empathy as "understanding so intimate that the feelings, thoughts and motives of one are readily comprehended by another." here is a page you may want to look at Red
http://www.lisashea.com/l...pathy.html | |
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onenitealone said: CarrieMpls said: Well, either they're a cynic or they suspect about your relationship with the person that you might not realize. I think every situation is individual. But 'reality' is fluid. Can someone else tell you if your love is real? Of course not. But might they have inclinations that its different than you think? Well, yeah. Who's to say who's right? If you know in your heart you are, no one else's judgement matters.
Still sucks, though. I co-sign everything Carrie's said so far. I think it only becomes an issue when you care about someone else so deeply, you put your own wants and needs on the backburner. To care about another person so much is admirable; just make sure you also take care of yourself in the process.
Trust your instinct. And your gut feeling. Only *you* know how you truly feel, Red. And if - as I've no doubt they are - your intentions are sincere, then don't worry what other people think. But perspective is always a good thing.
I hope you're feeling okay, Nicole. Take care. Thats so sweet, thank you Will I see you in September? | |
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REDFEATHERS said: Mach said: It's very very real hey beautiful hey babe
you're beautiful 
I REALLY dig this more ... 
real you side you have been showing lately ... not to say i dont enjoy the other sides of RED just as much | |
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its real | |
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Mach said: REDFEATHERS said: hey beautiful hey babe
you're beautiful
I REALLY dig this more ...
real you side you have been showing lately ... not to say i dont enjoy the other sides of RED just as much Oh???  Thank you, I am flattered, esp. coming from you..
But I have always been real here.. 
Lets just say I am kinda complex...  lol | |
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REDFEATHERS said: Thats so sweet, thank you
Will I see you in September?Anytime, love. I just hope you're feeling okay. We, and this place, are always here if you ever need to chat.
Please don't beat yourself up over something more people would benefit from gaining an insight into. It can seem hard at times but it's a pity more people don't care as much.
If you're being true to yourself, and your feelings, you have nothing to be afraid of. As for September, I'm still not sure.  I'd LOVE to go but got a few things to sort out first. But, if I'm there, I'd love to see you. | |
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Well if you feel something, how is it NOT real???
Just like the whole "puppy love" thing. Yanno, that ya have at 13 or 15 or whatever. Everyone's like Ohhhhh thats not real love.....well did ya feel like it WAS love????? Well, okay then, I guess it was. That irritates me. | |
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Mach said: What is empathy?
Carl Rogers (1975) wrote: ...the state of empathy or being empathic is to perceive the internal frame of reference of another with accuracy and with the emotional components and means which pertain thereto as if one were the person, but without ever losing the 'as if' condition (Quoted in Gallo 1989). The American Heritage Dictionary of the English Language defines empathy as "understanding so intimate that the feelings, thoughts and motives of one are readily comprehended by another." here is a page you may want to look at Red
http://www.lisashea.com/l...pathy.html Thanks, I have noted that link.. | |
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REDFEATHERS said: CarrieMpls said: Of course its 'real'. It's very real. And shows a great deal of empathy. Which is often rare and precious.
But there are times it can be unhealthy also. Your mood shouldn't depend on other people. I have seen relationships where if one is angry, the other can't be happy, etc. And that's a bit much... Yes I totally agree.. but what if you are TOLD it isnt real, by someone else who cares for you? They're full of it or don't understand but that doesn't make the feeling in itself less real.   | |
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It's real. | |
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R
E A L ! ! ! !  2010: Healing the Wounds of the Past.... http://prince.org/msg/8/325740 | |
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It's foolish. | |
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Spats said: It's foolish.
Spats! YO!
Anyways, it's real. | |
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They probably are real, but their stupid.
Feeling that way about another person, unless it's your kids or parents or something is just a waste of time and emotions, and you should really get over it. For your own good. | |
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Yeah, So the answer would be real AND foolish. | |
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Don't get that emotionly involved with a person. You are just asking for trouble. Especially if they have issues. You are just going to be hurting yourself. | |
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Spats said: Don't get that emotionly involved with a person. You are just asking for trouble. Especially if they have issues. You are just going to be hurting yourself.
Exactly. People are assholes and at the end of the day they only care about themselves. Stick with yourself. | |
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luv4all7 said: Spats said: Don't get that emotionly involved with a person. You are just asking for trouble. Especially if they have issues. You are just going to be hurting yourself.
Exactly. People are assholes and at the end of the day they only care about themselves. Stick with yourself. Exactly. The only person you can really trust is yourself. Most people are more concerned with themselves so you should just look after yourself. | |
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Spats said: luv4all7 said: Exactly. People are assholes and at the end of the day they only care about themselves. Stick with yourself. Exactly. The only person you can really trust is yourself. Most people are more concerned with themselves so you should just look after yourself. When it comes to relationships, I have to agree. I think that there is nothing wrong with making yourself #1, in fact, it's the healthiest thing to do. | |
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JustErin said: Spats said: Exactly. The only person you can really trust is yourself. Most people are more concerned with themselves so you should just look after yourself. When it comes to relationships, I have to agree. I think that there is nothing wrong with making yourself #1, in fact, it's the healthiest thing to do. Yeah. It is the healthiest. For me it's also the hardest. | |
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luv4all7 said: JustErin said: When it comes to relationships, I have to agree. I think that there is nothing wrong with making yourself #1, in fact, it's the healthiest thing to do. Yeah. It is the healthiest. For me it's also the hardest. I can understand that, used to be for me too. I hope you find the strength to do what's best for you. | |
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Love is putting yourself out there. Yes, you might get hurt, but you might be rewarded as well.
Plus, you can't turn off those feelings, so you might as well go with it. Telling yourself to stay uninvolved is just a farce. Becoming involved happens naturally, and if it doesn't, you're missing out on one of the most important things in life. [Edited 8/30/06 12:59pm] My Legacy
http://prince.org/msg/8/192731 | |
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NDRU said: Love is putting yourself out there. Yes, you might get hurt, but you might be rewarded as well.
Plus, you can't turn off those feelings, so you might as well go with it. Telling yourself to stay uninvolved is just a farce. Becoming involved happens naturally, and if it doesn't, you're missing out on one of the most important things in life. [Edited 8/30/06 12:59pm] Yes you will get rewarded, and following that you will get hurt. So what's the point? | |
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luv4all7 said: NDRU said: Love is putting yourself out there. Yes, you might get hurt, but you might be rewarded as well.
Plus, you can't turn off those feelings, so you might as well go with it. Telling yourself to stay uninvolved is just a farce. Becoming involved happens naturally, and if it doesn't, you're missing out on one of the most important things in life. [Edited 8/30/06 12:59pm] Yes you will get rewarded, and following that you will get hurt. So what's the point? What's the point of life at all, then? Bad may come with good, but good is what we live for. With a party comes a hangover, but parties are fun. with children come dirty diapers, no appreciation & eventually resentment, but most parents seem to think it's worth it. Same with love. Better to have love and lost then never to have loved at all. When you're hurt it might not feel like that, but I believe it. I can't imagine never having loved. My Legacy
http://prince.org/msg/8/192731 | |
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NDRU said: luv4all7 said: Yes you will get rewarded, and following that you will get hurt. So what's the point? What's the point of life at all, then? Bad may come with good, but good is what we live for. With a party comes a hangover, but parties are fun. with children come dirty diapers, no appreciation & eventually resentment, but most parents seem to think it's worth it. Same with love. Better to have love and lost then never to have loved at all. When you're hurt it might not feel like that, but I believe it. I can't imagine never having loved. Your rite. Ya had to slap me though. I'm miserable today if ya can't tell. The stevie Nicks quote helped too, ofcourse. Thanks Andrew.
Ya fuck! | |
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