..and you feel their pain, joy or happiness

Is this feeling real or foolish?

Serious answers please

REDFEATHERS said:

it's real. very very real.

fantasyislander said:

I FEEL and KNOW its real.. it feels too real, cos it hurts but to be told its not real, just messes me up big time...

RedFeathers, please do NOT start crying in the library edit
[Edited 8/25/06 6:35am]

it is very real. People can touch you on all levels and I often feel other peoples pain and joy. More often though it is their pain that I can feel.

(IMO only) real... when you connect with someone's energy like that you're going to also connect with what they're going through

ellieadore said:

omg YOUR intuition amazes me... especially when it comes to Toni

Natisse said:

I think you have an idea what I mean

ellieadore said:

Even if you arent close, geographically speaking?

Of course its 'real'. It's very real. And shows a great deal of empathy. Which is often rare and precious.

But there are times it can be unhealthy also. Your mood shouldn't depend on other people. I have seen relationships where if one is angry, the other can't be happy, etc. And that's a bit much...

it's real when you're feeling it unconditionally and empathetically.

it's not so real when you're projecting your desire for them on to what you think they should be or might be feeling.

CarrieMpls said:

Yes I totally agree..

but what if you are TOLD it isnt real, by someone else who cares for you?

REDFEATHERS said:

I think so... we'll talk tonight

REDFEATHERS said:

For sure hun. I have it with a few people.

It is a gift but also a burden sometimes

Anx said:

Its not about desire, lust or anything sexual like that

REDFEATHERS said:

doesn't even have to be about sex or lust. it could just be a desire to have feelings reciprocated. that can cloud a lot of true empathy that can transmit when you just plain CARE about someone with no aspirations attached. in that case, who cares what other people say? the feelings and the caring is pure.

Anx said:

and that right there is the hardest part if it's unrequited

REDFEATHERS said:

Well, either they're a cynic or they suspect about your relationship with the person that you might not realize. I think every situation is individual. But 'reality' is fluid. Can someone else tell you if your love is real? Of course not. But might they have inclinations that its different than you think? Well, yeah. Who's to say who's right? If you know in your heart you are, no one else's judgement matters.
Still sucks, though.

ellieadore said:

a gift???

I am just caring I suppose.. but sometimes I care TOO much..

REDFEATHERS said:

I don't think you can care too much. Feels like it sometimes but it is obviously one of your qualities.

Anx said:

thanks

Natisse said:

I wouldnt say its unrequitted

People nowadays seem to need permission from others to care or empathize. What a sad commentary.

I think we are at our best as humans, when we exercise empathy and compassion -- especially beyond what is seen as socially "normal." That kind of caring changes lives.

I've seen it in action.

It just can be tough to live like that continually. It can be lonely, too, because not everyone understands a commitment to caring deeply. It's not always reciprocated.

REDFEATHERS said:

oh no hon I was just meaning generally, really... sorry should have said that

ThreadBare said:

i think some people misread genuine care for something that requires a payment in return, which unfortunately i think is a symptom of the world we live in. "nothing comes for free". "if it seems too good to be true, it probably is." all that kind of cynicism.

the famous group of artists called the fluxists used to have a list of extremely random acts of kindness that they would perform anonymously, presumably because the idea of doing something kindly and creative at the same time seemed like the perfect form of performance/process art to them. we need more of that.

CarrieMpls said:

Hmm... yes, its difficult to explain, without going into too much detail, but also, I feel that I also listen to people TOO much and their opinions rather than following what I TRULY believe in, which really does mess with my head..

Sometimes I feel my opinion is not valid when others kinda stamp on it and crush what I am feeling into the ground

Natisse said:

Oh no.. I know.. I was just saying.. lol

I think sometimes I need to put things in print so its real, cos whats in my head just isnt real..

Anx said:

Yup.

ellieadore said:

I have to remind myself that I DO have qualities, and I am special..

REDFEATHERS said:

It's very very real