usually i'm not shy... i don't know what has gotten into me with this one particular person who intimidates the shit out of me but it's my fault since we first met. i didn't realise it was such a big deal until now, i just thought to myself that it wouldn't make a difference. I just thought i could stay under the raydar. i was wrong. Now i'm suffering somewhat from the consequences.

ok. the product of my problem as of late is this... i have to watch myself watch this one chance to perform pass me by... MY TIME IS UP... i have no excuses to save myself. i didn't really know that i was told to peform, all i knew is that i had to get there by missing the main step... Ask the Instructor!!! yes, the instructor is the same person whc intimidates the shit out of me. usually, when my dignity is on the line, i prepare. how could so trivial and frivolous happen to me? no, not i!

so, for the time being, i'm pathetic and no, i'm not feelin' it.

I'm lost.... but we all have had a rough day.

Life sucks sometimes but at least we got eachother!

Sweeny79 said:

nevermind. i just wanted to share. it's not easy at the same time as vague and amiguous.. doesn't work. it's over. i'm not sad or happy about it anymore life goes on. at least i had the courage to show up.. it's never too late to show up... have to keep on learning.

Take it from someone who's been in your shoes, you'd be amazed how the very thing you viewed as a failure turns around and becomes a blessing.

So, get ready for another chance -- even if it's one you weren't expecting.

God is faithful.

i don't want this door to close. i don't want another door to open because this closed. i want a decent chance just like the others. i HAD to hide because i felt intimidated, but i shouldn't have... that just made things worse.. i didn't realise... i still want to hide from the intimidator.

surprise surprise

i get my arse kicked once, i get my arse kicked twice. what is wrong with the world?