God, I'm crying like a baby here... I don't know why I let people get to me.

days where you feel like you are stuck inside a dryer set on tumble and the buzzer is broke so you just keep flip flopping around.

I just wanna be good and do good and feel like I am needed. But I am so not needed in most situations.

At work I feel like I can never do enough,with my family I feel like everything I am is just so at odds with everything they are and I do nothing but make them scratch their heads and go WTF??, with Rich and those few who I love I feel like they could do much better than me and that what I give isn't half of what they need, so at times I just give up and avoid people.

I feel so down today...and I don't know what else to do.

I need love.

Love me.

Well I was thinking voice chat .... less typing while blinded by tears the better

I don't have msn do they have voice chat??

Pease answer in English.

i'm feeling down myself today. i'm lost and don't know where i'm going.... sorry.

for you too

for you too

for you too

While crying isn't necessarily a bad thing, hope you are feeling a little more "up" soon.

i'm telling you, numb is the way to go. it keeps the tears away..... usually.

While crying isn't necessarily a bad thing, hope you are feeling a little more "up" soon.

I know it's not...it's just I hardly ever cry, I swallow it all...so when it comes out it comes out like a freaking hurricane.

I know it's not...it's just I hardly ever cry, I swallow it all...so when it comes out it comes out like a freaking hurricane.

i'm telling you, numb is the way to go. it keeps the tears away..... usually.

Hon... I was like that for many many years... it wasn't worth it. I can't be like that anymore.

That's why I cry whenever I feel like I need to. I would be suicidal if I held it all in

I got a lot of pride that stops me from doing that.

I wish I wasn't like this.

That's why I cry whenever I feel like I need to. I would be suicidal if I held it all in

I got a lot of pride that stops me from doing that.

I wish I wasn't like this.

Get some NIN ready. I'm going to cheer you up.

The only reason I don't cry all the time is because my sadness almost immediately turns to anger and then numbness. It's weird. I'll probably end up commiting suicide one day. Sad but true, but I accepted that fact about 2 years ago.

You know what I told you, you needed to do the other day... I still think that's the best thing for you sweetie.

Well damn honey, don't be too proud to cry in front of yourself In the end if we don't have ourselves, we have nobody.....

Ack, I am nobody so I feel like I don't have the right to cry. that's the core of it.

Ok, now I'm going to have to forget about my domestic abuse thread for a second so I could beat your ass talking like that



One thing I've been learning is to not let the failings/insecurities/weaknesses define ourselves. It's easy to get caught up in all of those because they are such dominant and strong emotions and experiences and allow them to shadow the goodness of ourselves. You don't have to be perfect to do great things or to be great. It's our imperfections that shed so much light on the greatness that we possess in spite of the failings....

I love you baby

Ack, I am nobody so I feel like I don't have the right to cry. that's the core of it.

i've never been like that. it's something new i'm trying out this afternoon.

it's not working very well.

Ok now I'm really crying...

I know what you say is true. i say stuff like that to other people all the time. It's just so hard for me to forgive myself for my short commings.

I love you too.

It's a waste of time babe... rock out to some music, talk to a friend, kick the shit out of a pillow, paint, write, scream at the wall....but numb don't work.