in my lifetime i have held grudges against people, who i really had no business holding grudges against, ive come to realize that life is way to short to hold these personal bad feelings against others. it isnt karmically correct and i hope that sometime in the future that those who have held grudges against me, let go of them as well. just something healthy to vent because it had to be said.

Finess said:

cosign this life IS too short...

Finess said:

wow...this has so much to do with my day so far... you saying this is like a sign... but I don't know how to let go. Once you have been hurt.... I don't know how to forget that.

ive never held grudges. it really does take up alot of energy that it otherwise doesnt deserve. funny i can get extremely angry at someone but it doesnt last long at all. if i make someone else mad i either dont notice or i've forgotten about the episode not realizing they haven't. i just assume that its forgotton. anyways i dont think its good for your health either.

Sweeny79 said:

everyone has thier own ride to handle yanno?, i believe that why hold something against someone if they hurt you you deal with it, but at the end of the day you have to let it go because it will eat you up inside every day and make you ill.

besides you don't want someone to have that much power over you.

Sweeny79 said:

Forgive, but don't forget.

applekisses said:

See I tried that...then they hurt me again. That's when the grudge came.
It's not someone I think about very often, but when they float back into my life....man it does some serious damage to my heart.

Sweeny79 said:

Don't forget, just forgive. Forgive them and forgive yourself for being in whatever situation you were in.

Grudges and bitterness do nothing to the person you feel it towards. It only affects you, and only in a negative way. Why would you do that to yourself? You deserve better.

Forgive and you will be able to move on.

Finess said:

I don't know how to deal with it.

JustErin said:

I honestly...don't know how.

I got a grudge against you til you make that old school punk mix rican boy!

jerseykrs said:

callate you guinnea bastid

Sweeny79 said:

It seems like it's so hard to do...but it's really not. You need to realize that it's more about forgiving yourself than it is about forgiving others.

I break it down to 3 steps.

Accept what happened.
Take ownership for your role in it.
Forgive yourself for the decisions you made.

Bad things happen to us, all of us. I've had my fair share of crap and I've come to the realization that life is not about what happens to us, but more about how we react and deal with what happens to us.

Once you realize that you only did the best that you could (and knew how to do) at that time, you can begin to move on and heal.

If you ever need to really talk or just have someone listen (er...read)...I'm just an orgnote away.

JustErin said:

I know what you say is true, and I realize a huge part of it is my pride and the fact that I just can't get over my role in it... I can be such an ass sometimes. That's what hurts me, and when ever this person emerges I just get insane. Truth be told tho...she really is just a nutjob and she shouldn't bother me.

Thanks Erin

Sweeny79 said:

That's why you shouldn't forget that they hurt you and keep an eye out for it...if you see old patterns happening again then you know when you have to go.

I just tune people out completely when they piss me off too many times. Don't acknowledge them, don't talk to them, have nothing to do with them - just close the door behind me and move on.

Sweeny79 said:

Yup, this is exactly where people get stuck when trying to move on. You'll work things out in time. You're a smart girl.

One of the hardest lessons my faith has taught me is the reality of Romans 8:28: "For all things work together for the good of those who love the Lord and are called according to His purpose."

I wrestle with it, knowing the things I and many of my loved ones have endured. "How is going through *that* a good thing?" I've wondered. I've seen the benefit of some hard times, especially in how they've born in me the capacity to empathize with others' pain and to counsel them with some insight. But it's not always easy.

The final lesson from that Bible verse, for me at least, is to let go of the pain in painful situations and to forgive people who have wronged me. Because God has a way of using both to push me in the direction He wants me to go. And, the more I trust Him, the better able I am to see how that direction isn't undesirable as I've often feared. Through it all, He provides me peace, comfort and wisdom.

People who once held grudges will always hold grudges. I don't think adults change that much, but good luck anyway.

Finess said:

Learning how to not let resentments build up is key to recovery

I tend to forgive, and forget.

Let is all go, no use in hanging on to anger... It just festers into your soul.

I only hold grudges against people who deserve it, I hate less than I used to but some people NEVER get off the shit list. It took me a long time to figure it out but I finally realised that I'm not, and I don't wanna be, a "good" person. The fact that I am the way I am makes me a kickass friend though, and a terrible enemy. I like it.

I tend to forgive everyone but myself...

shanti0608 said:

i know what you mean

purplerein said:

It sucks.. I cannot forgive myself and I have lots of guilt and fear right now..

shanti0608 said:

Learn to forgive yourself and life gets 100000x easier.

JustErin said:

I know you are right.. just cannot get there.. not sure how?

brownsugar said:

I'm pretty much the same way.

It's very much an Aries thang.

FunkMistress said:

must be, yeah Aries rock!