I'm such a rip-off artist.

But seriously, if anyone has any p*nis related news or gossip or just wants to talk about the Captain's p*nis, feel free.

CaptainChaos said:

Is it missing?

Are you John Bobbit?

I jacked off mine today.

First!

Can you be first to your own thread?

Okay, I'm not first. Damn it.

2the9s said:

If someone ever did pull a Bobbit on me, it wouldn't take like tons of guys looking in a cornfield for several hours. It would be clear to the naked eye from several hundred feet.

Man’s penis bitten off, wife arrested

A 29-YEAR-OLD man was admitted at Mulago hospital in critical condition after his penis was bitten off in a domestic brawl in Namuwongo, a Kampala suburb.
The wife, Margaret Apio, 25, was arrested and was by yesterday being held at Kisugu Police Post.

Apio and Richard Okwi, a casual labourer, have two children and have been married for three years.

The Katwe Division Police commander, Amos Gumisiriza, said Apio was likely to be charged with assault, occasioning grievous harm or unlawful wounding.
Okwi was too weak to speak when the New Vision visited him yesterday.

A neighbour of the couple narrated that they heard noise and commotion soon after Okwi, who had gone on his daily drinking spree, returned home late at night.

The neighbour said Apio had been complaining about her husband’s randy ways.

“Mama Apio has always been complaining about her husband. She has always been saying she is tired of a cheating husband and once promised to teach him a lesson he would live to remember,” the neighbour explained.
He said when Okwi returned home on Tuesday night, raised voices could be heard from his house.

“It seems the quarrel had just began and shortly afterwards, we heard an alarm and wild cries from Okwi.

“When we went to see what was wrong, we found him clutching his private area. Blood was flowing and when he let his hands down, there was no penis,” he added.

A senior surgeon at Mulago hospital, who declined to be named, said Okwi’s penis could be surgically re-attached if it is recovered in time.

He said he could heal perfectly if the sensitive veins were not damaged in the attack.

But by press time, it had not been established whether the severed penis had been found.

http://www.newvision.co.u.../12/513091

Spookymuffin said:

Good job! If you can't find a partner, dance by yourself!

GaryTheNoTrashCougar said:

I'm really really sorry I started this thread now.

CaptainChaos said:

Feel free? Sounds like a bargain!

Mine was mad at me the other night.

kidelrich said:

A p*nis is not something you want to piss off.

GaryTheNoTrashCougar said:

You know, sometimes I actually have my p*nis write threads for me.

CaptainChaos said:

we can tell.

Yeah, I have to admit that my more jerky thread are written by my p*nis. Sometimes he can be a real d*ck.

sinisterpentatonic said:

Hey!

Kewl gif!

And what is with all the 's?

sinisterpentatonic said:

You dick

Pen0r said:

Self-censorship to prevent a mod crackdown.

CaptainChaos said:

I will slap myself in Luv4u's face if she locks down ANYTHING on a pen0r thread...

Pen0r said:

The Captain usually speaks his mind freely but because of the sheer and unimaginable magnitude of my p*nis, I don't feel as if I could talk uncensored about my p*nis without coming up with a cleverly disguised modification of said p*nis. The world could not handle the purity and sheer awe that my p*nis brings.

Wait, it just hit me what my own p*nis reminds me of.

Stonehenge.

CaptainChaos said:

Hard as a rock?

Pen0r said:

Mystical, magical, standing for thousands of years, visited frequently by tourists.

CaptainChaos said:

Are you on postcards?

Pen0r said:

Wall-size posters.