I'm cleaning my dusty ass, jankity garage out today to re-organize it so it looks nice when the Terminix people come buy to treat my garage for spiders and other insects. I'm using my stupid wet/dry vacum cleaner which is heavy and really unable to reach certain spots of my garage. So I decided it was time I got a hand-held dirt devil or something. Cuase the wet/dry just wasn't working.

So I went to Superwalmart, becuase I'm a thrifty consumer and that's just how I fuckin' roll.

I noticed a bunch of people looking at me funny. Now, understand that Valrico is a small town connected to Tampa Florida, and up until very recently it was very very country. However, now, the orange groves and farmland has given way to miles and miles of New Home Construction (I call it the Stucco Getto). So anyways, people are looking at me like I"m some kind of freak.

The Cashier is staring at me, the people behind me are all staring at me. I was starting to get pissed. I almost started yelling at them about how "an Asian motherfucker like me has rights too." I was about to get all 40-acres-and-an-Asian-water-Buffalo on their asses.

It wasn't until I got in my car and was driving home that I saw in my rear view mirror that I had spider webs, dust, and all manner of shit in my hair. I looked like a Zombie with a fauxhawk, and those poor, sweet, country folk at Walmart were too polite to tell me.


I'm gonna start looking for Condos in the city soon.


.
[Edited 8/13/06 16:18pm]

Imago said:

ZombieKitten said:

Between your breasts and my fauxhawk, we'd make one kick ass Zombie!

Imago said:

poor, sweet, country folk at Walmart

that's so cute...poor Dan

They weren't polite. They were just cruel. They were staring at you and laughing behind your back. Maybe they were afraid to tell you that you had shit in your hair. You probably looked like a crack head from the big city to the local townfolk. If I was there I would have taken a picture of the shit in your hair. But I wouldn't stare. That's just rude.
[Edited 8/13/06 16:53pm]

Imago said:

HA!!!!!

Imago said:

I don't read Dan's posts in order.

This thread had potential...then it just faded off...as does the feeling of satiety 20 minutes after a Thai meal.

You need to tease people...make them think something big is coming then hit them hit them up style with that cobweb thing!



As it is, what else is there to say?





Alexander Dumas would shit on this thread.

2the9s said:

My walmart experience (yes, they're not shopping trips anymore--they're full blown experiences) was ass backwards anyways, so it probably works in your favor.


was edit
[Edited 8/13/06 17:41pm]

Salman Rushdie is going to parodically desecrate this thread hoping that a "robust" fatwah will be issued against it.


.
[Edited 8/13/06 17:53pm]

sorry to hear that
i guess if i showed up with these they'd all hide and board up their windows huh?:




i had to post a pic, i need 2 get into the habbit of photowhoring before i leave this place


*cough*
[Edited 8/13/06 17:55pm]

hhhhh!

Muse2NOPharaoh said:

Oh Please, Musey! Please!!

2the9s said:

Its a complete text! It contains a plot... Man you have turned into the new Prince... all cryptic and shit!

Muse2NOPharaoh said:

Please change your name to Bijou and wear this "dress."

2the9s said:

ROFLMAO! If I didnt adore you I would have to detest you! SICK!

2the9s said:

Buddhist don't issue fatwahs


We issue new age music CDs with hippy loving bullshit poems.

Imago said:

I want a newage bullshit hippy loving CD poem!

PurpleThunder said:

Are you sure you're ready for that? I mean, it sounds like Laurey Anderson trying to sound chinese.

Imago said:

Im willing to give everything a try once

althom said:

Pics could save this thread.