right now i am so f&cking pissed off. last year i dated this dumbo for
about 3 months. nothing spectacular.

he turned out to be a 65 year old moaning grandmother disguised as one
of those sort of nice librarian type young dudes.

honestly, he bored the living shit out of me, talking about collecting
china cups and baking cakes and making home made soup.

he'd sit on the couch at 5 PM in our 3rd month in his pyjama and
be all like "oh why should i dress nicely, i'm not a fashion fag".

i'm like "yeah well ok, but white sox, slippers(!!) and pyjama shorts
are not really a fetish for me, you know



anyway, i tried to pull his closeted ass into the 21st century but i
must admit that i failed on every single count.

so i broke it off. tried to do it the nice way and ended up with him
crying like a madman, hysterical, choking, as i was like "omg this is
insane, i want OUT of here"

anywho, he's been out of the picture for 10 months now and after he'd
initially called me, texted me and emailed me insanely much, he kinda
let off.

he threatened to send a camera crew to my house to win me back and i
threatened simply to go visit his parents and tell them their son is
in fact not the goody 2 shoes white sox n sandals straight man they
think he is but instead is someone who got rather a lot of pleasure
from sucking my...

well you get the idea.

immediately the coward backed off and fell silent.

until my mom and i bumped into him whilst shopping a month or 2 ago.
now it's emails all the time and long assed stories of how he wants
me back blablabla



now there's this email wishing me a happy birthday for today. lol. it
was august 5th but ok, what the hell do i care anyway.

but get this, the second line is

"Can't I Be Your Present?"


cut that shit out!



what the hell can i do to finally make this idiot back off. i didn't
want to hurt him or anything but at this point i really don't care
anymore about his feelings as long as he backs the fuck off.

oh lawd

ooh, happy late b-day, by the way

Just tell him you dig straight chicks in hot outfits:

http://www.prince.org/msg/100/199152



.
[Edited 8/15/06 14:13pm]

SupaFunkyOrgangrinderSexy said:

lol. don't tell herman cuz he'll start telling you about me
kissing this big tits faghag at the amsterdam pride, lol.

cborgman said:

thank you

see, i like it when you say it

Natisse said:

i know

some people just won't take no for an answer.
i tried to play nice and was even blunt for
my taste but still he doesn't seem to get it.

it's time to send in Dan i think

IstenSzek said:

there' something i don't understand..you dated him 3 months before you learned he was 65?

purplerein said:

He's young but turns out to act like an old fart

SupaFunkyOrgangrinderSexy said:

thanks supa...tell your nephew his uncle's hawt and cool

purplerein said:

lol. he wasn't actually 65, he was 29 but ACTED like he was 65.

it was like "oh no, we can't go out for ice cream, it's past
19:00"



all these weird unwritten ancient rules, like evening curfew
or something.

one day he scolded me for 15 mins because i keep handkerchiefs
in whatever pocket i stick them in.

his take was that it's supposed to be im the left side pocket.
he talked about it like i needed open heart surgery.

IstenSzek said:

id be cool with that, as long as the handkerchief wasn't yellow or brown

IstenSzek said:

Wait...and WHY did you not get all Serenity Now on his ass?

applekisses said:

oh i did



we were driving through belgium at the time and he was lecturing me
in the car.

all of a sudden it was like everything just went red in front of my
eyes and i started screaming and threw the handkerchief out of the
window, lol.

then i said something to the effect of "one.more.word. and someone
is gonna die on this road tonight"



i just knew he was upset for the handkerchief getting dirty and wet
lying there on the road, all alone

IstenSzek said:

Know what Isten?...you're funny!

purplerein said:

you think so? i'm too friendly, that's what i am, lol.
and i'm a bit of a coward to perhaps because i don't
see any other reason why i always end up staying with
losers for so long other than the fact that i am too
scared to break it off, maybe.

IstenSzek said:

would you care to see my collection of tea cozies?

purplerein said:

i would probably say yes because i didn't want to
hurt your feelings, lol.

it would probably go so fat that you would bring
me tea cozies every time you came over and i'd be
like "oh, thank you"



only when i would be forced by you to wear those
tea cozies as mittens in winter, i would finally
say "sorry but i don't like your fcking cozies!"

IstenSzek said:

you'ld just use me and set me free..

purplerein said:

and i wouldn't give back the tea cozies either

IstenSzek said:

Beotch

IstenSzek said:

Oh HELL yes!

Lars -- How the hell do you find these people? You've always got the craziest stories -- my heart goes out to you, but damn, they make for some hilarious reading! Tell him you're becoming a nun.

madartista said:

His stories are crazier than mine even!

SupaFunkyOrgangrinderSexy said:

Yes, in his own way. You, cborgman, & Isten each have your own unique abilities when it comes to drawing the random, crazy & completely unbelievable. We can never guess what's going to happen next, but we know we want to hear about it when it does!

madartista said:

keep your eyes open for the crackville thread

SupaFunkyOrgangrinderSexy said:

O.M.G. I can only imagine....

applekisses said:

that's what i wanna know!

Handclapsfingasnapz said:

u posting under me looks like Madonna's crucifed head is on Prince's Dirty Mind body. I LOVE IT!!!