So yesterday I was at the gym doing my little cardio thing on the elliptical machine and enjoying the big ol' industrial fan blowing right on me...and Mr. Anti-Fan trundled his carcass into the room.

If there were any poetic justice in the world, the PA system would have stopped playing whatever C+C Music Factory crap was on, and music from "The Good, The Bad and the Ugly" would have started.

He walked over to the machines and stared at the fan as if it were a bucket of botulism.

I stared at him staring at the fan, with a look on my face like Divine made in "Female Trouble" when the school snitch catches her eating a meatball sandwich in class.

He stepped closer to the fan, then looked at me. I doubled the sourness of my expression. By this point, other people were using the machines too, so he'd have several people to contend with if he turned off the fan, and at least one of us was giving him the stinkeye of death already.

He skittered away, then came back with the remote control and, apparently looking for something to lord over other than the airflow, started changing channels instead.

Control queens.
[Edited 8/3/06 5:40am]

Anx said:

I just came from the gym... WHY do people like to choose the machine RIGHT NEXT TO YOU when there's a whole ROW of machines empty???

I mean really - who doesn't like SPACE???

Ace said:

i'm a little disappointed because i wanted it to come to words, especially since it was another 100+ degree day outside and i could really have turned my attempts to make him look like an ass into quite the performance art piece.

CalhounSq said:

that really is creepy.

of course, if they're really cute, it's not AS creepy...but even then, sometimes when my brain's on auto-pilot i'm just not in the mood.

so yeah - creepy.

Anx said:

First a guy did it, then he left... then a girl came & did the same thing At least I burned 600 calories

I fucking HATE those big fans in gyms. They shit me off.

They are there for the people who dont workout enough to sweat, cos if you sweat you frickin freeze with those fans.

Okay, my rant is over. Carry on.

{smartarse remark here}

By the way, I look the people square in the eye who are in front of those things and ask, "do you mind if I shift this thing?", and if they dont have the balls to say anything I then point it away from where i'm working out.

bkw said:

better not work out next to me then.

nah, seriously, when i'm doing other stuff i don't care, but when i'm stuck at the elliptical machine for 30 minutes or whatever, i want some air on me. if i were running, i'd be feeling some kind of moving air, wouldn't i? well, maybe i should run then. except that i don't want to. so neener neener nyah pie.

Anx said:

Some air is good but those things blow icy winds from the antarctic. You get that nipple chaffe thing if you're sweaty.

Anx said:

feel ya. when i saw the topic i'm thinking 'ooooh what happened!!!! ' i guess he didnt' want to give you the satisfaction funny he had to do something by changing the channel instead of turning off the fan! what a loser! he is a control queen

bkw said:

TOTALLY all i ask. sometimes i'll even realize it's not that warm and i'm being a bit of a jack frost pig, so at times i'm happy to have that moment of clarity. but when one person decides to change everyone else's environment just to suit himself, i think it's time for some emily post upside the head.

bkw said:

huh? my nipples are perpetually lubricated. i thought everyone's were.

This thread.

I think you should tie some rainbow ribbons to the fan and put it on full blast, running in a spangly leotard. I think 'Xanadu' should be on full blast.

I bet he hates you today.

CalhounSq said:

Calhoun...maybe you just exude animal magnetism?

brownsugar said:

i was all geared up for an incident, too. it was one of those rare moments when my testosterone would have registered on the charts.

purplerein said:

If I did there'd be someone waiting in my bed right now, no?

I'm afraid it's just with gym weirdos

onenitealone said:

i want to get one of those hats with the little motorized fans built in, and tie a couple of personal battery-operated fans to my arms and maybe even strap a box fan to my chest. i can follow him around and yell "I'M FAN MAN!"

CalhounSq said:

well, at least you know they're physically fit.

Anx said:

::: considers wearing makeup to the gym :::





.
[Edited 8/3/06 6:20am]

Anx said:

Or you could always try the coquettish look, puffing away on the running machine behind a gypsy fan. He'll love it.

this is why i work out at home.

me and billy blanks, 57 minutes of taebo. really, it's for the best. if billy (or anyone else) could se me sweating like a madwoman they'd be laughing too hard to care about any fans...

XxAxX said:

oh, i can't work out at home. i get too distracted. sit-ups turns into brush-my-cat-and-listen-to-peaches-ups.

Anx said:

have you tried billy's video workout tapes though? he's riveting. no WAY you can not focus on him, he's gorgeous. mr 7 times world martial arts champ with muscles out to here talk about eye candy!

and, oddly enough, he talks like he's actually watching me. i'll reach for my water bottle and at that moment he'll say "that's right, get some water if you need to.."

XxAxX said:

i heard of this DVD you can get called "yoga in bed" - i might try that one.

Anx, is it possible this guy is trying badly..to get your attention?...maybe he wants you to come to him..maybe he's tired of having to do all the work?...maybe he's hoping for..sacktime?

purplerein said:

god, i hope not. i really think he just suffers from "the world is my living room" disorder.

COOL! Literally.

Anx said:

omg. I can't stop laughing!