(and no, this is not another JerseyKRS thread.)

So I'm on the way home from work on the CTA red line train, and who should get on at one of the stops but COUNT CRACKULA himself, all ashy lipped and bloodshot-eyed and wearing a dirty chef's uniform (I have NO idea).

No sooner does he even try to sit down than he's screaming profanities at the people in the seat next to him, calling the woman a white bitch ("...and I'm MARRIED to a white woman!") and telling the guy next to her to shut the F up and go home to daddy.

So this escalates, and the people being yelled at start yelling back, making the grievous mistake of trying to argue logic with someone who's orbiting planet crackton, and finally the critical moment comes: the girl whips out her cell phone and threatens to call the police.

"YOU THINK THAT SCARES ME?!?" Cracky yelled, capturing the attention of the entire car by this point. "I'LL CALL THE DAMN POLICE MYSELF!!! THEY'RE MY FRIENDS!!!"

And that's exactly what he did. He pulled out his cell phone and he called the police, told them where he was, and what the next stop would be.

And I'll be damned if the police weren't waiting for him at the next stop, where they led his dumb ass out of the train and took him away.

I looked at the woman across from me and I said, "did I see that right? Did that guy call the police on himself???"

And she said "yes he sure did."

Oh I miss having to take public transportaion sometimes...

....wow...



That was funny too.
[Edited 8/3/06 14:52pm]

invite him to your health club. ask him to guard the tv remote and the fan.

purplerein said:

i don't think that would work out so well...

"YOU THINK I GIVE HALF A DAMN?!? I'LL TURN THE FAN OFF MYSELF!!! IT'S MY FRIEND!!"

Good Lord

Anx said:

Too funny!

why the hell am i not surprised?!

Anx said:

The sunlight makes u do crazy things

brownsugar said:

well, i thought it was very thoughtful of him. it was like he was cleaning up his own mess after himself.

if only all crackheads could do that shit...

that is complete craziness!

can we see this as a skit on snl someday anx??


how does this stuff happen in your life??

Anx said:

But I thought you were gay?

yamomma said:

no, the crackhead said that. i'm the dope fiend, remember? get your health nuts straight!

anx, you tell the best fucking stories.


Oh the joys of public transportation.


I say you haven't really lived until you take a greyhound bus for at least 1000 miles. Everyone should experience it.

Anx said:

jerseykrs said:

i once took a grayhound bus from austin, tx to indianapolis, and i swear to you i watched a couple meet, get it on, go through a 3 hour honeymoon phase, fight and break up bitterly all in the span of the trip.

Anx said:

I totally believe it. A nice greyhound bus ride is akin to meeting Jesus.

I love it.

jerseykrs said:

or at least finding a snapple bottle full of jesus's pee.

Anx said:

how delightful

Oh Lawd! Typical Crack behavior!!

I had a friend once call the police on himself because he said that there were helicopters circling his apartment and that men in black suits were trying to take him away. The police knew right away what was going on. They took him in but couldn't find any of his stuff.

Meth is whack also!!
M

MIGUELGOMEZ said:

ugh, i think methy marvins are even worse than count crackulas.

Anx said:

Always seeing meth-monsters and doing crack crafts. I mean, how many God-Damn crossword puzzles can one do?

m
[Edited 8/3/06 17:32pm]

MIGUELGOMEZ said:

hahaha, nothing is better than a fully loaded tweaker!

jerseykrs said:

Good God, I've been in the company of many a tweaker. It should be like a zoo exhibit or something. THE LOOK AT THE TWEAKER EXHIBIT. If you blink, you might miss him/her.

can't decide how to spell tweeker edit
M
[Edited 8/3/06 17:39pm]