On August 8th I go in to get surgery on my foot to remove a bunion I've had pretty much my whole life but has become painful to walk on even with comfy supportive shoes.

On August 21st my mom Dodie is going in for a double mastectomy. This is the second recurrence she's had for breast cancer, and as the doctor's have tried all the chemo drugs on her and radiation with obviously poor results, this is one of her last shots.

I'm a bit nervous about my foot surgery, but I'm scared for Dodie. If something goes wrong during surgery or the cancer is too strong and comes back in another area even after all the breast and surrounding tissue is gone, it won't look good.

I don't want to be an orphan.

good luck to you and your mom.hope all goes well

She's already written up a will and made funeral plans, just in case. But I don't want to have to deal with this. I don't care how much or what I'm supposed to inherit and I don't want to have to sort through her things and I don't want to rent out the house to anyone and I don't want to talk about what music she'd want at her funeral or who she does or doesn't want to be there.

I will think of you both, all my love to you and yer mom.

Thank you.

So she is having her whole breasts removed? In that case I think the chances are very good that the cancer will be gone for good. She could - as we all can - get cancer in other places, but that would be independent of this. Breast cancer is breast cancer and as long as the cancer hasn't spread to other parts before the surgery then removing the breasts should do it. At least so I've been told.

retina said:

That's the thing, they're not 100% that the cancer hasn't already spread more. Mostly sure, but not enough to say with confidence.

She's getting everything on both sides removed, tissue, lymph, blood vessels, everything.

meow85 said:

Doctors are never 100% sure, or at least they will never tell you that. If they say they're "mostly sure" that usually means they're almost completely sure but they don't want you to hold it against them if they against all odds turn out to be wrong. I seriously think your mom will be okay.

And as for your surgery, I'm sure you'll be fine. My mom had the same procedure done recently and she said it was completely painless and although she was quite sore for a while afterwards, she said her foot got better.

Erin, I'm sure a lot of people will be thinking of you and your Mom at this time. We're all here to listen if you need us.

Take care and sending you both my very best wishes.

Alun

meow85 said:

My aunt was told she had about three months to live after she had a complete double mastectomy. Twenty years later, she's alive, well, and cancer free.
There's much better treatment for breast cancer now. I think she has excellent chances of complete recovery.

I've had eight surgeries already and I was apprehensive before each one... every time I woke up afterwards I wondered what the big deal was.
They give you really good pain killers

My thoughts and prayers are with you and your mother.
[Edited 7/31/06 3:29am]

onenitealone said:

Thank you.

shellyevon said:

Thanks for that. I really hope she'll be fine. I'm just down from having to talk about this stuff the past few days.

As for my surgery, I'm not afraid of the procedure itself or even the pain afterwards. This might sound weird, but because of the wonky way the bone grew I can use that foot like a third hand. I'm a bit afraid that after the surgery I won't have that ability anymore. It's an odd feeling to know I'll be down by a hand yet not have lost any body parts.

meow85 said:

You're welcome. Take care.

for you and your mom

meow85 said:

take a deep breath, because you're fifteen steps ahead of yourself. let your foot feel better, and try and let mom rest comfortably. talk to your brothers and sisters if you have any. if you don't, talk to your aunts and uncles. you're not alone in the world, and there's no way you can juggle so many things at one time.
one step at a time, and I'll include you both in my prayers

will pray for dodie and you.

keep us updated

I will send out Reiki to you and your mom

best wishes and love




Mach

Love, white light, and prayers to you, and your Mom.

I hope all goes well for both of you.

you can bet she is nervous and apprehensive too...
let her talk about her fears because voicing them will help you both deal

i guess i have faith that the doctors will do everything in their power to make us well... and the rest is up to us. thinking ahead and planning for the future is good! ask her what she wants to treat herself with WHEN she recovers. perhaps a trip back to europe with you?? focus energy into healing and surround yourself with people that will do the same.



i was almost in kelowna last week
it would have been nice to meet you
keep us updated

talking about all that crappy stuff is good too. Regardless of the outcome, your mom wants to know that you will be okay, that you will take life one step at a time. This process, no matter when someone organizes it, is important. She is offering you more than a will or inheritance. She is offering you the gift of being involved in one of the most intimate experiences we go through. My prayer is that she comes through just fine, but take this opportunity to connect in such a deep way. Someday, centuries from now when she is gone, you will remember and appreciate each moment. And what a gift you are sharing, even if it does seem morose or sad.

I'm sending out positive vibes for you and your mother

I wish u the best of health and peace.

meow85 said:

You and your mother will be fine.

My mom was diagnosed 7 years ago and it spread through her body. She's had the surgery mentioned and is trying new chemo drugs weekly. It was really rough in the beginning but my mom is a fighter and has a great attitude (positive). Her sense of humor and her will to live has brought her through 7 years when they gave her 3 weeks. It gives life perspective when it's your mom.

As far as your foot, pain meds are your friend and the human body heals amazingly quick. As far as the other situation, help her stay positive. Also, get a good doctor who knows how little science understands about cancer but is willing to learn from the daily new findings. The doc who gave my mom 3 weeks was not that guy.

Sending out a for you and your mother meow85.

pray, meditate.

you and your mom will be fine.