Wow, I really out did myself this time.

Let me preface the story by stating that, yes, I was indeed drunk off my ass.

There’s a lot of graffiti in the bathroom of this bar that I go to, so while I was in there doing my business, I noticed a tag on the wall that a friend of mine had left. He lives in Atlanta now. I was laughing my ass off, so I wanted to take a picture of it and picture message it to his phone. One problem though, it was way high on the wall, almost by the ceiling, and my phone needed to be closer to get a good picture of it.

So, I made the wonderful decision to stand on the toilet to get the picture. I slipped of course and NEARLY fell right on the floor. This, if you know about my germaphobia, would have been the most traumatic thing, like, ever. Luckily I’m agile like Spider-Man and managed to save my fall by grabbing on to the sink on the way down. Of this I was quite proud. That lasted only a millisecond though.

On my drunken descent, the FUCKING TOILET broke off the floor and fell over on it’s side. Yeah, you read that right. The pipe from the wall is spraying water like Old Faithful, and I’m literally laughing harder than I have in quite some time.

The best part is I managed to do all this without ANYONE noticing. Everyone was busy watching the band. So I stroll out, not soaking wet, but wet enough. My friends look at me and just CRACK UP. I of course tell them the story, and begin to tell them we need to get the fuck out of there FAST. Hahahahahaah

They were having no part of it. By this time, a crowd of people including the bar’s personnel have congregated by the bathroom, wondering what the hell happened. The pipe is still spraying water like nobody’s business too. They finally got the water turned off and we just went on with our night. I took a pic of my buddy John standing on the broken toilet, like we fucking conquered it or some shit.


The joke’s on me though, because I woke up this morning with a bruised finger and thumb (I’ve broken fingers before, and I think my thumb might be broken) and I CAN NOT bend my left knee. I can’t walk! I vaguely remember it smashing into the wall as I was desperately trying not to land on the gross floor. I don’t remember ANY of these things hurting last night though. I DESPISE the hosptital, but I really think I'm going to have to go and have my knee looked at. I can deal with the broken thumb, but not being able to walk is gonna pose a problem.



What’s the worst part of it all?


I never even got the photo.

Wow, you are so cool!

JustErin said:

I'm a fucking retard.

jerseykrs said:

How old are you again?

JustErin said:

Two years older than you jerk.

jerseykrs said:

I thought you were 32? Now you are 34?

Admit it, you're actually 43.

Awesome.

Take it from me- you should have your knee looked at..

hahahhaha!



you know, i did a similar thing a few weeks back... but at my parent's house.... ripped the sink off the fucking wall....

bad news man! bad news!

funny though. but very stupid.




.
[Edited 7/29/06 9:03am]

shanti0608 said:

Thing is, I don't want to call my parents and ask one of them to take me, cause then I'll have to come clean about how it happened!!

My best friend said he'll take me when he gets home.

Hospitals have supergerms!!!

You better have it looked at anyway.

shellyevon said:

A woman at my mom's work did that to the toliet we still can't figure out how she managed it!

ps your friend is hot.

Sweeny79 said:

Maybe she was drunk and trying to take a picture of the ceiling!




Ow my knee!!

Sweeny79 said:

did she do it to a toilet at work?

JasmineFire said:

yup.

and it was full of you know stinky what too.

jerseykrs said:

Poor baby

Sweeny79 said:

poor thing. that must have been so embarrassing for her.

omg! Hilarious.



Hope you're ok.

congratulations here are some awards for you.....




3rd place



2nd place


1st place


grand prize! the coveted GOLDEN TOILET SEAT award













hope you're ok.

you just made me feel SOOOO much better about my behavior last nite!




I hope you heal up quickly!

Reminded me of this game I like:

http://gprime.net/game.php/fallinggirl

That's pretty funny! I got drunk last night, but no toilet stories!

in retrospect, I have to say that I think the broken bones and knee are way better than if I had landed on the floor!

jerseykrs said:

Have you been checked out yet??

shanti0608 said:

I'm being stubborn and toughing it out.

jerseykrs said:

That's what I did for 4 days...I would not recommend it.

shanti0608 said:

Ok, I'll just do it for two.