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PrintableHandclapsfingasnapz said: okay, this should be like a separate thread entirely but i'm gonna throw it out there anyway: what would be your kryptonite?
 Puppy Penis. | |
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Handclapsfingasnapz said: okay, this should be like a separate thread entirely but i'm gonna throw it out there anyway: what would be your kryptonite?
Oh shoot, now that you mention it, there's a really good shot called Kryptonie. It's Rum, Melon Liquer, and Pineapple Juice. | |
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Tom said: he could fly around the country performing gay marriages, and say "Fuck you Bush! I'm Superman!"
 then he could wrap the newlyweds in a giant rolling paper and SMOKE THEM.  | |
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Anx said: Tom said: he could fly around the country performing gay marriages, and say "Fuck you Bush! I'm Superman!"
then he could wrap the newlyweds in a giant rolling paper and SMOKE THEM. why would he wanna toke the newlyweds? | |
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Anx said: Tom said: he could fly around the country performing gay marriages, and say "Fuck you Bush! I'm Superman!"
then he could wrap the newlyweds in a giant rolling paper and SMOKE THEM. 
This thread is the goddamn highlight of my day. The Normal Whores Club | |
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Handclapsfingasnapz said: Anx said: then he could wrap the newlyweds in a giant rolling paper and SMOKE THEM. why would he wanna toke the newlyweds? Cuz he's Superman! Then he could put the in-laws in a blender and SHOOT THEM UP. The Normal Whores Club | |
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Supes is too much of a Boy-Scout to engage in this kind of behaviour. It's unlikely any of these things would intoxicate him anyway.
A more plausible superhero to examine like this is Wolverine. His healing factor takes care of him getting pesky things like cancer, so he chain-smokes cigars. He also CAN get drunk, but it doesn't last for very long, so he has to keep drinking to maintain his buzz (best of all, he doesn't have long to wait before he's sober enough to drive). He doesn't think of himself as a role model, so he isn't bound by any sort of moral objection to engaging in selacious acts. To top it off, he would also be immune to disease, so he could pretty much screw who he wanted, and not have to worry. His mutant ability would also wipe out any viruses that tried to reside in his body, so he wouldn't be a carrier for anything. 
Do not hurry yourself in your spirit to become offended, for the taking of offense is what rests in the bosom of the stupid ones. (Ecclesiastes 7:9) | |
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FunkMistress said: Handclapsfingasnapz said: why would he wanna toke the newlyweds? Cuz he's Superman! Then he could put the in-laws in a blender and SHOOT THEM UP. oh my gawd... | |
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Handclapsfingasnapz said: Anx said: then he could wrap the newlyweds in a giant rolling paper and SMOKE THEM. why would he wanna toke the newlyweds? because he CAN!!! | |
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JediMaster said: Supes is too much of a Boy-Scout to engage in this kind of behaviour. It's unlikely any of these things would intoxicate him anyway.
A more plausible superhero to examine like this is Wolverine. His healing factor takes care of him getting pesky things like cancer, so he chain-smokes cigars. He also CAN get drunk, but it doesn't last for very long, so he has to keep drinking to maintain his buzz (best of all, he doesn't have long to wait before he's sober enough to drive). He doesn't think of himself as a role model, so he isn't bound by any sort of moral objection to engaging in selacious acts. To top it off, he would also be immune to disease, so he could pretty much screw who he wanted, and not have to worry. His mutant ability would also wipe out any viruses that tried to reside in his body, so he wouldn't be a carrier for anything.  cool. | |
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How does Superman get a haircut?...wouldn't his hair bend the scissors? | |
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purplerein said: How does Superman get a haircut?...wouldn't his hair bend the scissors?
he shaves with it, too. | |
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JediMaster said: Supes is too much of a Boy-Scout to engage in this kind of behaviour. It's unlikely any of these things would intoxicate him anyway.
A more plausible superhero to examine like this is Wolverine. His healing factor takes care of him getting pesky things like cancer, so he chain-smokes cigars. He also CAN get drunk, but it doesn't last for very long, so he has to keep drinking to maintain his buzz (best of all, he doesn't have long to wait before he's sober enough to drive). He doesn't think of himself as a role model, so he isn't bound by any sort of moral objection to engaging in selacious acts. To top it off, he would also be immune to disease, so he could pretty much screw who he wanted, and not have to worry. His mutant ability would also wipe out any viruses that tried to reside in his body, so he wouldn't be a carrier for anything. oh, i totally assume he'd be immune and wouldn't get drunk or high. my whole point is that he could just do all this stuff purely to show off. | |
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JediMaster said: Supes is too much of a Boy-Scout to engage in this kind of behaviour. It's unlikely any of these things would intoxicate him anyway.
A more plausible superhero to examine like this is Wolverine. His healing factor takes care of him getting pesky things like cancer, so he chain-smokes cigars. He also CAN get drunk, but it doesn't last for very long, so he has to keep drinking to maintain his buzz (best of all, he doesn't have long to wait before he's sober enough to drive). He doesn't think of himself as a role model, so he isn't bound by any sort of moral objection to engaging in selacious acts. To top it off, he would also be immune to disease, so he could pretty much screw who he wanted, and not have to worry. His mutant ability would also wipe out any viruses that tried to reside in his body, so he wouldn't be a carrier for anything. I could see Batman doing this stuff, but just to prove he's stronger and more incharge of himself than a drug/addiction Now I'm older than movies, Now I'm wiser than dreams, And I know who's there
When silhouettes fall | |
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JediMaster said: Supes is too much of a Boy-Scout to engage in this kind of behaviour. It's unlikely any of these things would intoxicate him anyway.
A more plausible superhero to examine like this is Wolverine. His healing factor takes care of him getting pesky things like cancer, so he chain-smokes cigars. He also CAN get drunk, but it doesn't last for very long, so he has to keep drinking to maintain his buzz (best of all, he doesn't have long to wait before he's sober enough to drive). He doesn't think of himself as a role model, so he isn't bound by any sort of moral objection to engaging in selacious acts. To top it off, he would also be immune to disease, so he could pretty much screw who he wanted, and not have to worry. His mutant ability would also wipe out any viruses that tried to reside in his body, so he wouldn't be a carrier for anything. oh, i totally assume he'd be immune and wouldn't get drunk or high. my whole point is that he could just do all this stuff purely to show off. | |
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paintsprayer said: JediMaster said: Supes is too much of a Boy-Scout to engage in this kind of behaviour. It's unlikely any of these things would intoxicate him anyway.
A more plausible superhero to examine like this is Wolverine. His healing factor takes care of him getting pesky things like cancer, so he chain-smokes cigars. He also CAN get drunk, but it doesn't last for very long, so he has to keep drinking to maintain his buzz (best of all, he doesn't have long to wait before he's sober enough to drive). He doesn't think of himself as a role model, so he isn't bound by any sort of moral objection to engaging in selacious acts. To top it off, he would also be immune to disease, so he could pretty much screw who he wanted, and not have to worry. His mutant ability would also wipe out any viruses that tried to reside in his body, so he wouldn't be a carrier for anything. I could see Batman doing this stuff, but just to prove he's stronger and more incharge of himself than a drug/addiction batman tweaking his head off...omgomgomgi'mbatmanheeheehee! | |
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Handclapsfingasnapz said: paintsprayer said: I could see Batman doing this stuff, but just to prove he's stronger and more incharge of himself than a drug/addiction batman tweaking his head off...omgomgomgi'mbatmanheeheehee! batman's mortal though. His climaxes wouldn't kill the women he was with, as Superman's coming does.. | |
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Handclapsfingasnapz said: paintsprayer said: I could see Batman doing this stuff, but just to prove he's stronger and more incharge of himself than a drug/addiction batman tweaking his head off...omgomgomgi'mbatmanheeheehee! Adam West Batman explaining to Robin that he has given his penis a protective coating of buttermilk so as to sheild himself from the vile woman he was "sampling" Now I'm older than movies, Now I'm wiser than dreams, And I know who's there
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purplerein said: Handclapsfingasnapz said: batman tweaking his head off...omgomgomgi'mbatmanheeheehee! batman's mortal though. His climaxes wouldn't kill the women he was with, as Superman's coming does.. i was talking about batman on meth. | |
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purplerein said: How does Superman get a haircut?...wouldn't his hair bend the scissors?
From a post on some other site's thread: Back in the Pre-Crisis days, he didn't *need* to shave or cut his hair. It was noted several times in various stories, when he was under a red sun or otherwise powerless, that his hair and beard would then start growing, like that of a normal man.
Contradictions would abound, of course, but that was probably the more commonly-held idea. Him shaving with a mirror from his spaceship was a Post-Crisis idea.  | |
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TMPletz said: purplerein said: How does Superman get a haircut?...wouldn't his hair bend the scissors?
From a post on some other site's thread: Back in the Pre-Crisis days, he didn't *need* to shave or cut his hair. It was noted several times in various stories, when he was under a red sun or otherwise powerless, that his hair and beard would then start growing, like that of a normal man.
Contradictions would abound, of course, but that was probably the more commonly-held idea. Him shaving with a mirror from his spaceship was a Post-Crisis idea. he's perma-fabulous.  | |
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TMPletz said: purplerein said: How does Superman get a haircut?...wouldn't his hair bend the scissors?
From a post on some other site's thread: Back in the Pre-Crisis days, he didn't *need* to shave or cut his hair. It was noted several times in various stories, when he was under a red sun or otherwise powerless, that his hair and beard would then start growing, like that of a normal man.
Contradictions would abound, of course, but that was probably the more commonly-held idea. Him shaving with a mirror from his spaceship was a Post-Crisis idea. so what was the deal with superman's mullet all about? remember that?  | |
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Anx said: so what was the deal with superman's mullet all about? remember that?
he had a mullet?  ewww! | |
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Handclapsfingasnapz said: Anx said: so what was the deal with superman's mullet all about? remember that?
he had a mullet? ewww!i tried to google the mullet but it's hiding in shame. | |
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Handclapsfingasnapz said: Anx said: so what was the deal with superman's mullet all about? remember that?
he had a mullet? ewww!
After dying in the 90s, he somehow had long hair when he returned to the land of the living. | |
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Anx said: TMPletz said: so what was the deal with superman's mullet all about? remember that? That was post-Crisis. Basically, the official explanation has ALWAYS been (even in pre-Crisis days) that he shaved using his heat vision and a mirrored surface he got from the spacecraft he travelled to earth in as a child. Being that he has the Fortress of Solitude, which is equipped with all manner of Kryptonian technology, I'm sure he's got some grooming tools. Surely Jor-El sent his son a Kryptonian nose-hair trimmer!
Do not hurry yourself in your spirit to become offended, for the taking of offense is what rests in the bosom of the stupid ones. (Ecclesiastes 7:9) | |
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FunkMistress said: Handclapsfingasnapz said: why do all that kinna shit? i'd be super, man, and wanting to stay that way.
 But you would stay that way! No matter what! That's the point! You could walk up to a bunch of sad addicts whose lives were ruined by heroin, shoot up a shitload of junk right in front of them, then run around the block with all of them stacked on your shoulders like a junkie pyramid! It would be AWESOME! | |
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Superman should have lots and lots of random, unprotected sex, drink water at sewage treatment centers and top it off by dating Pam Anderson. | |
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