Handclapsfingasnapz said:

I almost did it. I looooove that line! I am so in love with the fact that he had the balls to record shit like that. Giggly, doe-eyed voice and all. The bastid.

But the most recent thing wasn't even a line. It pissed me off nonetheless. My mother was taking my daughter and me out to lunch. She had 3121 in the CD player, and as I was getting out of the car I was dancing to "Get On The Boat." My mom and my kid were taking their time getting out of the car, so I just danced my ass off on the sidewalk. Mind you, I wasn't dirty dancing, just having myself a good time. Well, this sonafabitch driving a big black truck pulls over, gets out of the truck, runs across the street and hands me a dollar! He stood there grinning at me like a fucking fool, like I was supposed to thank him or jump on his penis or something. I crumpled it up and threw it at him. What the hell??

FunkMistress said:

Damn, SORRY!!

jerseykrs said:

Have you passed that dollar yet?

Girls never flirt with me. The most action I get is from gay guys on a prince website. WTF

jerseykrs said:

shuddup. you know you love the attention.

the weirdest flirt line, and I guess distorted compliment someone has ever said to me occured last weekend. I saw an old classmate of mine and we got to talking about religion somehow. During our conversation she noticed that I had a shirt that stated "JESUS: COOLER THAN NATURE!" She proceeded to laugh and say "you know its pretty sexy that you are into Jesus and gave me the digits. I was shocked because I have never heard anyone imply that loving Jesus is Sexy. Ive heard that its cool and thats great or that sucks but never sexy. So what is the weirdest line that someone has said to you?

One time some guy walked up to me in a bar and grabbed my hand, pinched my fingers together on his nipple and said make it into hamburger meat

Well gee, that really didn't turn me on

One time some guy walked up to me in a bar and grabbed my hand, pinched my fingers together on his nipple and said make it into hamburger meat

Well gee, that really didn't turn me on

Yeah, bewildering, isn't it? I had a similar story.

On a junior ushers trip (I was still in high school), this reputedly fast girl named Sabrina proceeded to come on to me. Her line to me was similarly alarming to a good choirboy like me. It was something like:


"I can cure you of that virginity condition, you know..."

SupaFunkyOrgangrinderSexy said:

Whaaaaat??

One time some guy walked up to me in a bar and grabbed my hand, pinched my fingers together on his nipple and said make it into hamburger meat

Well gee, that really didn't turn me on

SupaFunkyOrgangrinderSexy said:

ewewewewewewewewewEWWWWW!

ThreadBare said:

that girl wasn't fast...from the sound of it that heffa was light-speed.

I just grinned sarcastically because I really didn't know what she meant.

On my postal round one morning a couple of years ago-
Girl in doorway- "Do you have any post for me?"
Me- "There's nothing for you today"
Girl in doorway- " Can I have yours then?"
I just grinned sarcastically because I really didn't know what she meant.It dawned on me 5 minutes later!!

Not a "line" per se, but I was once standing at a bar and a very cute Asian girl came up to me and stuck her tongue in my ear. She's now the co-anchor of a major network's Entertainment Tonight-style show.

"You clean women's restrooms don't you?"

I did at the time, among other things

"I find that very interesting the way you're willing to cross borders."

NDRU said:

wtf?

Handclapsfingasnapz said:

like sweeping up toilet paper littered by women somehow made me androgynous!

Is that a bottle of windex in your pants.. cause i sure can see myself in them.

BabyCakes said:

Did it look like you had an erection?