the weirdest flirt line, and I guess distorted compliment someone has ever said to me occured last weekend. I saw an old classmate of mine and we got to talking about religion somehow. During our conversation she noticed that I had a shirt that stated "JESUS: COOLER THAN NATURE!" She proceeded to laugh and say "you know its pretty sexy that you are into Jesus and gave me the digits. I was shocked because I have never heard anyone imply that loving Jesus is Sexy. Ive heard that its cool and thats great or that sucks but never sexy. So what is the weirdest line that someone has said to you?

i think i actually said something similar to luv4all7 about her reading the Bible

Jesus should never be mentioned in a flirt.

jerseykrs said:

*HWJF (How Would Jesus Flirt)

"how many pieces of chicken can i give you in order to get your phone number?"

--some brotha who worked at popeye's, 2003

Handclapsfingasnapz said:

That is FUCKING AWESOME!!!

Dude gets mad props.

jerseykrs said:

all i could do is bust out laughing at his stupid ass! i've yet to hear anybody use a pick-up line on me of that caliber...it can't get no screwier/jiver than that.

I had an argument with a girl online that was pretty heated. She basically was yelling at me when I disagreed with her. She ended up messaging me that it was really turning her on that I was challenging her and that it was very attractive. She's actually one of the people I've known the longest on myspace.

Handclapsfingasnapz said:

That is a mess/fantastic.

Handclapsfingasnapz said:

YES!

Idabeenlike, "14", given him the wrong number, and eaten for free for a couple of days.

Handclapsfingasnapz said:

So did you GIVE it to him?

HereToRockYourWorld said:

after i left i seriously thought about doing that to see if he'd really hook me up with free food. he wasn't behind the counter though, he was mopping the floor.

Here are some ones that made me go :

"Are those cherries? Where did you get them, the grocery store? Wow, you're really good at picking them out. You know how some people pick out ones that are all soft, and the color is all changing? You must have skills." Yeah, Napoleon Dyno-Crack. Watch out for those color-changing cherries, ok?

After walking up really close to me, this was whispered in my ear: "When are you taking me out to lunch?" WTF?? Never???

But the most recent thing wasn't even a line. It pissed me off nonetheless. My mother was taking my daughter and me out to lunch. She had 3121 in the CD player, and as I was getting out of the car I was dancing to "Get On The Boat." My mom and my kid were taking their time getting out of the car, so I just danced my ass off on the sidewalk. Mind you, I wasn't dirty dancing, just having myself a good time. Well, this sonafabitch driving a big black truck pulls over, gets out of the truck, runs across the street and hands me a dollar! He stood there grinning at me like a fucking fool, like I was supposed to thank him or jump on his penis or something. I crumpled it up and threw it at him. What the hell??

Handclapsfingasnapz said:

Don't fall for it! They're never gonna let him cook their chicken!

It's a C-O-N-spiracy!

FunkMistress said:

napoleon dyno-crack


ewwwww, that is totally skeevy! i woulda had to cuss the poor soul out for that.


what. thee. hell?!!!! i woulda been like, "you are NOT at Poonie's Shake-N-Drank, alright? keep yer gotdamned dollar."

FunkMistress said:

it's a good thing i didn't end up taking 'im up on his offer then!!

FunkMistress said:

:hands FunkMistress a dollar:

HereToRockYourWorld said:

:looks HereToRockYourWorld up and down:

'Damn cowgirl! Can I ride that ass? Shoot!'

I should mention, I was wearing a faux fur coat that was black and white like a holstein cow. I was walking by myself, at night, in downtown Mpls and I looked up to glare at the guy, but when I realized what he'd said I couldn't help but laugh.

FunkMistress said:

another weird moment for me was a few years back--i was walking down the street on my way home from the library. i passed by this guy who was obviously pretty drunk...here's basically what happened:

drunk guy: hey, beautiful.
me:
drunk guy: marry me!
me: *walking away a bit faster*
drunk guy (from far away): i love yooooou!!!
me:

Handclapsfingasnapz said:

FunkMistress said:

one guy at work last week said i was elegant....




elegant??







wrong emoticon
[Edited 7/25/06 8:57am]

fantasyislander said:

you weren't twirling around or performing ballet or anything, were you?

Handclapsfingasnapz said:

Marry me. Yeah, that's right: Marry me!

FunkMistress said:

what, i don't get the all i have to do is think about you and i can have an orgasm line too?

I get really irritated when men say dumb shit just to get into a conversation or get my attention. I know I should have more compassion and easygoingality and shit or whatever, but this is one area where my sense of universal love has yet to take over.

The other day at work I was leaning over and I guess the waistband of my pants kind of pulled down. This dude I work with peered over and said, "Ooh, is that a big scar on your lower back?" First of all, duh. You know it is. Second, you had to be looking really hard to see it. Third, shut up and ew!

Also, dumb shit like "damn, you're gaining weight. Those thighs are looking nice and thick" does not work on anyone but the most insecure and fucked-up females! Keep it in your head unless you want to be embarrassed in front of whoever you were dumb enough to say that shit in front of!!

I have no problem with people expressing an appreciation of me or the way I look. I take it as a compliment. When I pass old drunk homeless men and they say, "Hey, gorgeous!" I smile my ass off. There's nothing wrong with calling someone beautiful. But the dumb shit has got to go.

Handclapsfingasnapz said:

why yes i was.




he was also very impressed with how tall i was.



oh, and this one customer we had about a year ago kept going on and on about my "wolf eyes". they're light blue.... he said it was like looking into the soul of a wolf. and then proceeded to straight up hit on me..... keep in mind we insure his home and cars..... with his wife!!!

wtf??

Handclapsfingasnapz said:

I almost did it. I looooove that line! I am so in love with the fact that he had the balls to record shit like that. Giggly, doe-eyed voice and all. The bastid.

FunkMistress said:

*skeeved out*


thank you. i remember one time i was walking to first ave. on my way to their halloween party--i had on a black skirt (i dressed up as a vanity 6 reject, hehehe--not super-sleazy though, like they did) and this brotha who was like across the street yelled out "DAAAAAYUM, she thick!!!"

yes, i'm quite aware of the size of my legs. thanks, creep.


indeed. every so often i pass by a guy and he'll go "hey, beautiful" or "hi, sista" and i don't mind that at all--i hear that kinna stuff from older guys though, never from the younger cats.