I liked myself a whole lot more 5 years ago

5 years ago I was 6.

I've grown since then (almost two feet)

goosebumps said:

At least you're asking the questions, though... A lot of people don't even do that.

Byron said:

5 years ago to the day I was on top of the world, over my 7 weeks of morning sickness (which had made our trip to Argentina a disaster) happy to be home again. 9/11 had not happened yet, I still thought I was bringing my kids into a nice place. Probably had just found out my second kid was also going to be a boy.
It felt like it was all about family.
Now? I am starting to think of myself as separate from the unit too, I have my work and stuff that takes my mind off my obligations (my work is my escape). Funny how I feel like running away from it all.

ZombieKitten said:

I feel like running away but mainly because I do NOT have a family of my own.

shanti0608 said:

I feel like running away but mainly because I have to do laundry...

Byron said:

I have a load to hang up that's been in the machine 2 days shit

jerseykrs said:

Same here. So much has happened...so many tragedies in such a short time. I sometimes feel like I'm just starting to catch up and then something else happens. I often feel like I'm waiting for the other shoe to drop.

applekisses said:

In 2001 I had WAY bigger dreams than I do now. I was happier in a sense that my life was just starting and I was totally excited about life.

I've always been very spiritual, although I feel like I'm at my peak in spirituality rite now. Which helps me feel more grounded than I did 5 yrs ago.

Five years ago I went through one of the most painful experiences that basically destroyed my faith and trust in any human being and at times even God. During this time I became a very cynical, angry, and depressed person. Even a will to live was somewhat difficult. But from then up until now, I have come out of the situation much stronger than I was before, more grounded in my beliefs, and in some ways thankful -- not for the experience itself, but all the lessons that I have learned.

1FRO said:

let's see....5 years ago I was depressed, no sence of self and no direction.
Now I feel great, have amazing kids, started school and have more self confidence. I know what I want and where I want to be. And it's all thanks to 3 special people who made a HUGE difference in my life.(Thank you paze,Mone and he knows who he is )

jerseykrs said:
Thanks!!

eVeRsOlEsA said:

I was hooked on the comp ... swinging between friends and neighbours... now, I'm a little older and have more experience in getting hooked on the comp and swinging between friends and strangers. So, yeah I've grown and am sure there are documents/photos/stats/etc. to prove it.

jerseykrs said:

I miss your crazy ass how are ya?

eVeRsOlEsA said:

not quite drunk, really trying though.....

jerseykrs said:

you mean you started dranking with out ME?????!!!!!?????

jerseykrs said:

Whoa A lot has changed.

5 years ago:

Miserably stuck in thesis-land. Low self-confidence due to being stuck in thesis-land. Nothing at all, no fun, nothing except thesis-land. Oh yeah, I was in a long-distance relationship, in love. About to get married.

Now:

Happy, autonomous, stronger. More in control of my world and my goals. Smarter. About to get divorced.

heartbeatocean said:

Oh geez...lol

Byron said:

It's true. I'm happy I'm on this end of it though.

My answer will be convoluted...

5 years ago I felt very sure about a lot of things. I was more confident, fearless, eager, focused...

I've learned that I have a serious "need to be needed" thing going on, which I never realized. And that if I'm not careful that need can get me into trouble emotionally & leaves me really vulnerable, which I don't like. Friendships I thought were super strong have since fallen apart for the better - I'm still learning lessons from those, making peace w/ the fact that some folks pass through for specific reasons & they're only meant to be around for a short time... that the universe looks out for you & hopefully you'll realize the blessing at some point instead of harboring bullshit... it's also important to listen to your gut & recognize when it's trying to steer you right - many people don't deserve the benefit of doubt, I'm less trusting of new people now...

I'm growing but I have so much more to do. I think it's hard for me to think of my self as just a person & not in association to others (how good a daughter/sister/friend I'm being, what people think of me, etc.). It's also hard for me to focus on one thing or goal b/c I'm @ a point where I want all aspects of my life to be full, not just pockets. I'm getting too old for pockets

The more I learn the more afraid I become, I'm starting to feel like I can't afford risks anymore. As far as my goals & dreams this is a do or die year for me, I'm still trying to muster up the courage/faith to do what I need to do without much support - it all has to come from me & that's hard when you're already hard on yourself.

Despite the thousand insecurities I still manage to believe I'm in a better place than I was 5 years ago I feel like my eyes are more open now, & though I don't always like what I see I know can handle it...

Don't know if any of this makes sense to anyone, but I did start off w/ a disclaimer

Oh, and Byron - I don't think about this specific question but I do try to monitor/ponder my growth as a human being pretty regularly. I just wonder how right I am w/ my assessments




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[Edited 7/23/06 2:58am]

5 years ago I trusted people from the start...like being given an "A", and having to keep it rather than earn it...

I don't do the opposite now...I just don't do that anymore.

5 years ago I was fucked. Now I'm fucking on fire. Well, there's some kindling and smoke now, at least.



Really though, I'm getting hotter all the time, life-wise; in a good way.

CalhounSq said:

Beautifully thought out and expressed...(and I completely understand that last sentiment..lol...)

I've changed in a lot of ways, some for the better and some for worse. Mostly, people seem to believe I'm still like I used to be just cos they don't spend enough time around me to notice the difference. I'm even more of a loner than I used to be and it's only partly by choice, I don't mind it really but sometimes it would be nice to have the energy to do stuff.

I've changed in many ways in the past 5 years... anyone who knew me before and hadn't seen me until now would be very surprised I think (hopefully in a good way) I'm a completely different girl to the one I used to be