And don't expect this feeling to go away anytime soon. Acknowledge it, and you'll learn to find the goodness in it all. Like everyone else already said.

INSATIABLE said:

I know this. It's enormous. I can only put my finger on one thing, and I realistically know that it will solve nothing.

fantasyislander said:

No, NIN works wonders. I see it as one man's entire life feeling like this condensed into 5 albums that allow me to heal so much quicker than he did. He's done the world a favour.

any chance of your talking to a therapist?

INSATIABLE said:

I understand this. I thought I had embraced it but I obviously need to learn more about myself.

purplerein said:

I could for free, but I'm not game for that. I don't open up to things like this easily enough.
I know this is a cycle anyway. A cycle that will pass like it has before. I'll learn something out of it too. I'm just hoping I won't be like this when I'm around a bunch of students in Paris & Madrid next week; I'd like to make some new friends.

Zogmuffin said:

french girls are easy...make them come to you though

Zogmuffin said:

If there's one thing I hate more than taking advice it's giving it. But I will say one last thing - never lose your sweetness, Ben. Let's put all the bullshit aide - you think these thoughts because you're sensitive, meek and fragile. You're lashing out at the thickest, highest brick wall at the limits of imagination if you're pitting your own sense of righteousnes against what you perceive to be the collective wrongs of the human race and the lack of answers regarding our conciousness and existance.
Keep a fucking tight hold of that sweetness inside because it's the most precious part of you and it's the only thing that'll keep your mind shielded on dark nights of the soul. Well, that and masturbation.
All the shadows and the pain are coming to you, Ben. It's true. I'm sorry, pain's in the post. To be blunt, life is pain and learning how to cope with pain. Sometimes - a lot of times - mids and bodies throw in the towel. But there's a crack in everything - that's how the light gets in. And all the demons crowding your future are a lot easier to fight if you're on your feet. So shape up soldier, and let's at least try and frighten off the dragons we can't slay.

Number23 said:

well said you.

Number23 said:

You're a crazy one 23, but thanks.

purplerein said:

They'll have to, I'm not interested in getting any play right now..probably for the first time in my life.

...and then I feel better.

alwayslate said:

You forgot

purplerein said:

Sometimes, I have everything, yet I wish I felt something.
Do you know how far this has gone? Just how damaged have I become?
When I think I can overcome, it runs even deeper.

There's a lyric that literally sums everything up. Go trent.

purplerein said:

i want to rid myself of depression, not invite it.

I can feel myself starting to feel better now. Maybe it's this glass of white wine, but more likely it's because I talked to all of you and you all helped. Thank you.



Make no mistake, I'm neither cured nor feeling perfect - but within me rose up a small feeling of warmth and happiness. It's staying there at the moment and it feels nice. Thanks.

Zogmuffin said:

That's cool. Although the warmth is probably the wine!

luv4all7 said:

I realised that.

There's no point. Since when is that not okay?

Zogmuffin said:

you're going to Uni right? Life will be a whirlwind of drinking, puking, partying and lectures. You'll see! you'll forget all about the retired men! Go Spooky!

LleeLlee said:

I know - I can't wait to take advantage of ludicrously drunk girls, film it all and then sell it later.

Zogmuffin said:

Yup, that and my kisses!

50th post. Let's set this one on fire.

luv4all7 said:

Let's keep them on the down-low.

Number23 said:

What's this 52nd shit?

Zogmuffin said:

Number23 said:

Do you like Guiness?

Zogmuffin said:

Aye, it's alright. I like to start off with a Guiness, it lines the stomach. Probably.

Number23 said:

Yeah - great stuff. A lot of people I know don't like it...but then again they go for Fosters when they go to the pub