CarrieMpls said:

jerseykrs said:

Get out of the gutter, you!
My kitty cat! Kitty cat!

CarrieMpls said:

1. You know how in cartoons, the characters wear the same damn clothes every day? Well they just made a cartoon show based on you. What's the cartoon-version of you wearing?

A grey, pinstriped suit & white shirt, with a killer tie and complementary handkerchief.

2. Tell me a little bit about a time you beat the system. No I won't be more specific.

I asked her out to dinner. She said yes.

3. Pick two posters from the board to put in the ring for a celebrity boxing match (like the ones on FOX). Who are they? WHY DO YOU WANT TO SEE THEM FIGHT YOU SADIST?

I hate boxing. So, no.

4. You suddenly have the power to end any franchise you want. What franchise do you choose to end?

Radio Shack... always asking for my information...

5. If your life was a children's book, what would the title be? Would it be a pop-up or choose your own adventure or one of those dealies? DESCRIBE THE DAMN BOOK.

Definitely a choose-your-own-adventure. Without question.

6. QUICK! GOD'S GONNA END THE WORLD if you don't grab something near you right now and stick it up your ass! Holy shit this isn't even a poll question, it's the TRUTH! No time to think, just DO IT! What do you grab?

Find me the biblical precedent for this. I didn't think so, false prophet!!!

7. Can of worms question: What's the largest form of life you feel comfortable killing? Sick bastard.

I've taken out birds with my little Toyota, that's it.

8. You go on the roof of a building to get some air and OMG THERE'S A GUY STANDING ON THE LEDGE AND HE'S GONNA JUMP. You can get a max of about three sentences (no run-ons) in before he might do it. What do you say to talk him down?

I'd tell him that I understand his pain. Then I'll say that God created him for a purpose, and that if he jumps, he'll miss what joys God has in store for him.

9. Is it possible that a man might just be 0% gay and he doesn't have to hear that he's "in denial" or he's "a closet case" or anything like that? I mean seriously...

Yes.

10. Hey, what happened to question #10?

Byron said:

i read it

1. You know how in cartoons, the characters wear the same damn clothes every day? Well they just made a cartoon show based on you. What's the cartoon-version of you wearing?
tight blue jeans, black low-cut longsleeve T with black wrap or vest

2. Tell me a little bit about a time you beat the system. No I won't be more specific.
I tricked my son into using the toilet for his number 2s - he was 4 1/2 and still using nappies to poo (refusing violently to use a toilet) so I emptied his baby brother's poop into the potty and sat baby on the potty and called my son to come take a look at what his clever baby brother had done! Then we went to K-Mart and bought baby a soccer ball. The same afternoon my boy did his business in the right place!

3. Pick two posters from the board to put in the ring for a celebrity boxing match (like the ones on FOX). Who are they? WHY DO YOU WANT TO SEE THEM FIGHT YOU SADIST?
spats and mdiver

4. You suddenly have the power to end any franchise you want. What franchise do you choose to end?
Red Rooster

5. If your life was a children's book, what would the title be? Would it be a pop-up or choose your own adventure or one of those dealies? DESCRIBE THE DAMN BOOK.
See Lottie Drawing

6. QUICK! GOD'S GONNA END THE WORLD if you don't grab something near you right now and stick it up your ass! Holy shit this isn't even a poll question, it's the TRUTH! No time to think, just DO IT! What do you grab?


7. Can of worms question: What's the largest form of life you feel comfortable killing? Sick bastard.
cockroaches

8. You go on the roof of a building to get some air and OMG THERE'S A GUY STANDING ON THE LEDGE AND HE'S GONNA JUMP. You can get a max of about three sentences (no run-ons) in before he might do it. What do you say to talk him down?
What's your pin number? Can you leave your wallet up here? What do you mean you have no money? and then I would push him off

9. Is it possible that a man might just be 0% gay and he doesn't have to hear that he's "in denial" or he's "a closet case" or anything like that? I mean seriously...
what?

10. When do you masturbate? I know you've got a set time reserved each day, perv.
before I go to sleep


BONUS!!! What happened in your dream last night?

[Edited 7/6/06 20:15pm]

I can't be bothered to answer, and yet I thought the thread sucked sufficiently to warrant my posting this reply.

Can we have some new thread ideas, please?

1. You know how in cartoons, the characters wear the same damn clothes every day? Well they just made a cartoon show based on you. What's the cartoon-version of you wearing?
Something slutty, with boobs half hanging out, high heels, lots of black eyeliner and big pouffy hair

2. Tell me a little bit about a time you beat the system. No I won't be more specific.
and I won't be more specific either

3. Pick two posters from the board to put in the ring for a celebrity boxing match (like the ones on FOX). Who are they? WHY DO YOU WANT TO SEE THEM FIGHT YOU SADIST?
I'll take any of you on!

4. You suddenly have the power to end any franchise you want. What franchise do you choose to end?
Kenny Rogers Roasters. The fat Gambler just needs to go.

5. If your life was a children's book, what would the title be? Would it be a pop-up or choose your own adventure or one of those dealies? DESCRIBE THE DAMN BOOK.
The Little Girl Who Couldn't Spell. Pop-up book and the title pretty much explains it all.

6. QUICK! GOD'S GONNA END THE WORLD if you don't grab something near you right now and stick it up your ass! Holy shit this isn't even a poll question, it's the TRUTH! No time to think, just DO IT! What do you grab?
phone

7. Can of worms question: What's the largest form of life you feel comfortable killing? Sick bastard.
bug

8. You go on the roof of a building to get some air and OMG THERE'S A GUY STANDING ON THE LEDGE AND HE'S GONNA JUMP. You can get a max of about three sentences (no run-ons) in before he might do it. What do you say to talk him down?
Thank God I'm not part of the clean up crew for this kind of thing.

9. Is it possible that a man might just be 0% gay and he doesn't have to hear that he's "in denial" or he's "a closet case" or anything like that? I mean seriously...
Sure, it's possible.

10. When do you masturbate? I know you've got a set time reserved each day, perv.
late at night before I sleep


BONUS!!! What happened in your dream last night?
I went to the white house to have dinner with the Bush's. At one point Georgie boy was leading me somewhere, holding me by the arm and it hurt. That's about all I can remember about it now.