ZombieKitten said:

No it won't. It will lead to other questions, that will lead to hurt feelings or agrevation if you don't answer them. It would just be easy to say good bye, I will call you when I need a ride.

MickG said:

i agree. i think subconsciously women either want to control or be controlled. some even consciously want this. i think a lot buy into the cliche that all men are bastards, so any guy who acts normal couldn't possibly be for real.


.
[Edited 7/2/06 21:04pm]

ZombieKitten said:

No it won't. It will lead to other questions, that will lead to hurt feelings or agrevation if you don't answer them. It would just be easy to say good bye, I will call you when I need a ride.

ZombieKitten said:

It might not even be a case of the person being fat therefore you're turned off.

Sometimes you just don't feel it, know what I mean?

Pretty women are not usually attracted to fat guys. So this guy is probably used to getting rejected because he is fat. So maybe the truth won't matter and he will be just used to it.

Pretty women are not usually attracted to fat guys. So this guy is probably used to getting rejected because he is fat. So maybe the truth won't matter and he will be just used to it.

Spats said:

maybe jers could try the cupcake method of rejection?

ZombieKitten said:

Which is??

JustErin said:

spats wanted to mash a cupcake into the plain jane coffee shop girl's face when she asked him out for NYE since it meant he could never go there again because it would be awkward after that.

ZombieKitten said:

Oh!

JustErin said:

I wanted to squish the cupcake into her face when she was treating me badly after she asked me out and i said no. Going to the coffee shop was never the same after i rejected her. Screw her.
[Edited 7/2/06 21:56pm]

Ok, so saying it straight up is acceptable but....

what if the person was really overweight and possibly really self conscious about it? Is it still ok to be straight up, to say that there is zero physical attraction?

JustErin said:

I think you should be honest no matter what, just let the person know you're not into them that way, not attracted, whatever - it doesn't have to be specific (about weight, etc). And it shouldn't be a lie (i.e., "you're not what I'm looking for right now") b/c it just gives them hope that they might have a chance down the line.

I had someone in my life once that I really thought was a friend with a crush on me, turns out the whole time he knew me he was just trying to wear me down I was honest w/ this dude from his first confession of feelings for me - "I'm not interested, not attracted, I'm SURE, thanks but no thanks"... And every fucking year this dude would have a whole heart to heart moment trying to convince me that we belonged together

Sometimes it's hard enough for people to "get it" when you're honest with them, can you imagine what would have happened if I'd tried to spare this dude's feelings just b/c he's short, fat & bald? Even he thought those were my reasons for not wanting him. He'd say, "It's because I'm fat, right? I'll lose weight!" But it wasn't b/c of his weight or his baldness (though his height was a factor ). He was actually an attractive guy, I just wasn't attracted to him - and that's my fucking right, is it not? He wasn't my type physically but more than that he wasn't my type emotionally. I literally would have had to strangle him - he was way too whiney, spoiled & smothering as a friend so I can only imagine him in a romantic capacity

Anyway, always be honest no matter what the person looks like. Otherwise you're just a fucking liar



.
[Edited 7/3/06 0:33am]

CalhounSq said:

yeah, that's good, that... but are you sure you don't want to get to know me better?

mrdespues said:

you wear a toupee!?

in someone (you're not attracted to them at all) is it ok to tell them straight up, "I'm sorry, but I am just not attracted to you"?

Or should you give them some other reason?

in someone (you're not attracted to them at all) is it ok to tell them straight up, "I'm sorry, but I am just not attracted to you"?

Or should you give them some other reason?

JustErin said:

I wanted to squish the cupcake into her face when she was treating me badly after she asked me out and i said no. Going to the coffee shop was never the same after i rejected her. Screw her.
[Edited 7/2/06 21:56pm]

mrdespues said:

Isn't it better to be honest with them right away than to have them find out that you are interested or even seeing someone else after saying you are "not looking right now?"

I think that would suck so much more.

JustErin said:

I say honesty, but you don't have to be a jerk about it. Very tricky that.

To say you're just not interested, will be extremely honest and blunt. They'll never see you in a positive light again. If that doesn't matter to you, then it's a great way to keep from wasting time explaining things

purplerein said:

See, that's the part I think is unfair. I mean I've had crushes before so I understand hurt feelings but how can you hold it against a person for being honest w/ you? I think there's a difference between being honest & somewhat gentle vs. rude & cold. It's in the way you do it... & it's not really fair to the person being liked to have to be responsible for their feelings. You gotta know that if you put yourself out there you may not get it in return & you gotta make peace with that before even letting your feelings be known IMO...

CalhounSq said:

Ya, reacting in that way is ridiculous. They hate the person simply because they don't find them attractive and do not want to be with them romantically? Talk about immature.

I wouldn't want someone that was that immature as a friend anyway.

Spats said:

Your anger against women is alarming. You need therapy. Lots of therapy

JustErin said:

I don't think I expressed myself correctly. I guess what I meant is...If you're not the type of person who worries about what people think about you after the fact, by all means be honest and say, this is going nowhere. The person who you say that too will probably have a negative impression of you forever. that's all I meant..they may have had a good time with you, but their lasting impression of you will probably be negative.

purplerein said:

It's still very immature.