Are you an office joker?

Or do you aspire to be one?

Maybe you sit next to one?

What are your thoughts on them?





I'm not going to moan but, recently, we had a switch-about in my office.

The benefits are: I can now go on Prince Org all day without being watched and... well, that's about it.

The downside is that I now have to sit opposite the guy with the loudest mouth in the office. He's a really nice guy - a sweetheart, in fact - but, my God, does he go on. All day, every day, I have to hear his comments on this, that and whatever. It's starting to do my head in.

In fairness, he's a really positive guy and always looking to keep things upbeat; I suppose I'd much rather sit opposite someone who's trying to have a laugh as opposed to someone whingeing all day. But silence can be so lovely at times. I've forgotten what it's like. He's just left the office now and, already, I feel ten times' calmer. It's just the relentless babble that gets on my nerves.


Please share your views.

onenitealone said:

TMPletz said:

I can't see the pic.

I realise this thread makes me look like a right miserable git but I'm just venting, I guess. I love talking shit like the next guy but - non-stop? - go away! It's that in-my-face aspect which irritates me, probably.

i'm really good at cutting that kind of nonsense off at the root. when i start feeling myself getting sucked into someone's babble vortex, i'll say something like "this is really interesting, but i don't have a whole lot of time for chatting right now. can we maybe talk some other time?" i think i've perfected a tone that i hope sounds polite on the surface, but underneath has a tinge of "leave me the hell alone" that lingers long afterwards.

Anx said:

i used to do that too, but now i just carry a loaded water pistol and use it when someone waxes overly loquacious

Anx said:

See? That's the thing. I thought I was good at that. But some people can't take the hint.

It's like he has two switches - 'Off' or 'Babble'. No in between. I'm ready to staple his lips together.

onenitealone said:

i worked with someone a few years back who i actually had to say, "listening to you talk so much is literally making my ears hurt (and it was!). could you maybe talk to someone else for a while?"

literally. seriously. no subtleties would work.

XxAxX said:

More ideas - please!

Oh dear Alun!

Im not an office joker, but we do like our banter in here!

I know how you feel though, around me theres just countless people who yap yap yap all day :blah:

One of the directors sits not far away and his specialty is leaving the phone on speakerphone all day long --> :blah: He has an awful lot of phone calls, and conference calls! We even got a snippet of "girls just wanna have fun" earlier while he was on hold!! I think its a power trip thing

I used to put on my headphones to deter any of that nonsense...lol ..but then you get the ONE person who STILL comes over, taps you on your shoulder to get you to remove your headphones, then starts yakkin' away...

Anx said:

I would LOVE to say that but - in this case - I wouldn't want to hurt his feelings. He means well; it's just... too much.

Most of the time he's not speaking to me directly; it's to whoever's in earshot. And he does say some really funny things. Just give me a break sometimes.

susannah said:

Hey you!

Don't get me wrong, I love a good laugh - and, most of the time, you can guarantee anyone who says that is a right miserable bitch ; see 'wacky/zany' - and it does make the day go quicker. But, recently, I've been getting so uptight in work and I know that's what it is. I don't get a moment's peace. But that's offices for you so hey...

I think I need to be my own boss.

onenitealone said:

Well i hope you have a better day tommorrow hon

I know how you feel though, sometimes everyone needs peace! Theyve just taken on this girl from my class at uni here, who does my HEAD in!!!!GOd she winds me up And theyve sat her right next to me and theyre sending us out to do surveys together! Im liable to nut her

anyway!!! Thats my only work related annoyance for today!

Speak tommorrow babe

Byron said:

I wonder if I get one of those soundproof booths they have on quiz shows anyone'll notice...?

susannah said:

You sweetheart.

Thanks, hun - it's not that bad, though. At least I don't have to go on surveys with him!!! I hope you don't end up throttling her.

You've met me and you know how much *I* can talk. But some people just love the sound of their own voice.

silence

onenitealone said:

for chatty co-workers, when the water pistol doesn't work try snapping them with a rubber band from across the room. might not silence them forever but at least you'll gain a few precious moments of silence...
[Edited 6/22/06 10:50am]

onenitealone said:

and failing the ignore treatment, the water pistol punishment and the rubber band snap - duct tape across the mouth definitely stops that flow of say-nothing chatter

XxAxX said:

they can chew through. trust me on this.

i've always wanted to carry a remote control around with me and, when someone does something truly annoying (say-nothing chatter, public grooming, uninvited physical contact, etc.) point the remote at them and repeatedly click it while muttering "dang! must be broken."

mind-tricks can be funny

XxAxX said:

Thanks for the tips.

XxAxX said:

I missed this! Somebody needs to come up with this asap.

Point, click, shut up.

slicksight said:

Like this?

I'll get working on my psychic capabilities.

onenitealone said:

working on the decades?

slicksight said:

onenitealone said:

picky freak!

slicksight said:

Freak? You called?

I still have no idea what you're on about but

onenitealone said:

well, you know. i think the remote 'silencer' would sell big time. but then, that's me. and let's face it i had to edit out an entire paragraph up there because of its 'too anti-social' content.

XxAxX said:

I'm sure I'd still agree with you whatever it was you edited.

I keep wishing they'd introduce electric shock buttons on our company's telephone system. Annoying customer, BZZZZZ, job satisfaction.