I've been thinking of my bestest friend Francisco a lot lately. He passed 8 months ago.

I remember first meeting him in 7th grade. He later told me all he wanted to do was beat me up. And he didn't know why.

I remember him driving us around everywhere. He was 14 years old and his mother let him take us everywhere in her car.

I remember driving to Santa Cruz (made famous in the movie THE LOST BOYS) when we were in high school. Santa Cruz was 30 miles of winding mountain highway. On the way back we would shut the lights off for as long as we could. It's the stupidest thing we ever did but it was fun.

I remember our first Gay Pride parade in San Francisco. I was the only one that was out at 16 yrs of age. Francisco and my other friend told their parents they were going somewhere else. Our local news station plopped right in front of us to cover the entire parade. Francisco couldn't hide, he had a beautiful mohawk. We were like "Out of 500,000 people in attendance our local news chose to be in front us. What the hell is that?"

We've been through deaths, my mom, his mom, our good friend John. We went through our crazy days. We went through many boyfriends together.

I'm still missing him.

My SUPERSTAR D.J.




"So tell me how do you do. Finally I meet you. You don't know what I've been through. Waiting and wondering about you. I had a dream my trip would end up at you, and now I know paradise." - Finally - Julie McNight



M
[Edited 6/13/06 14:47pm]

What wonderful memories.

And, that mohawk rocks.

It's weird because my other best friend (in the past 15 years or so it was 3 of us that hung out together) and I will always think of something that we want to call Frank up and tell him. It's usually something stupid or a joke. Something that only Frank, Joy and I would "get". We've both had that feeling lately. The thing I miss is what we used to call our "riffing" sessions. We would sit around and just talk and make fun of things on t.v. We'd start making jokes and I kid you not, the joke would be on some t.v. show the next week. I swear, we used to say that we were being bugged by the major networks.

One time we were watching t.v. and they had some commercial where they had used the image of Martha Graham, the dancer. For some reason we started laughing and we said "Oh yes, Martha Graham cracker." The next commercial was of a dancing graham cracker. We thought we were going to die from laughing so hard.
The thing is that things like that would always happen to us. Stupid and dumb but very funny things.

M

Thanks for sharing him with us.

Together Again

There are times
When I look above
And beyond
There are times when I feel your love
Around me baby
I'll never forget my baby
(I'll never forget you)

There are times when I look above and beyond
There are times when I feel your love around me baby
I'll never forget my baby

When I feel that I don't belong
Draw my strength
From the words when you said
Hey it's about you baby
Look deeper inside you baby

BRIDGE
Dream about us together again
What I want us together again baby
I know we'll be together again cuz

CHORUS:
Everywhere I go
Every smile I see
I know you are there
Smilin back at me
Dancin in moonlight
I know you are free
Cuz I can see your star
Shinin down on me

(together again, ooh)
Good times we'll share again
(together again, ooh)
Makes me wanna dance
(together again, ooh)
Say it loud and proud
(together again, ooh)
All my love's for you

Always been a true angel to me
Now above
I can't wait for you to wrap your wings around me baby
Oooh wrap them around me baby

Sometimes hear you whisperin
No more pain
No worries will you ever see now baby
I'm so happy for my baby

BRIDGE

CHORUS

(together again, ooh)
Good times we'll share again
(together again, ooh)
Ooh it makes me wanna dance
(together again, ooh)
Say it loud and proud
(together again, ooh)
All my love's for you

There are times when I look above and beyond
There are times when I feel you smile upon me baby
I'll never forget my baby

What I'd give just to hold you close
As on earth
In heaven we will be together baby
Together again my baby

CHORUS (2x)

you are a wonderful man miguel...

this is not depressing, you have made me smile - especially the dancing cracker Well, you and Joy keep it up, keep including him in your "moments". I'm sure he appreciates it

Miguel, you are always so sweet and kind in all of your posts. Even when you disagree with someone...you are such a gentleman and a sweetheart. I'm so sorry for the loss of your friend. He sure looked like a character. It's so nice to have friends like that. I have a best friend, too--well we live in different cities now, but when we are together it's like time has stopped: we pick up where we left off. I can't imagine not having my best friend, so I know it must be difficult for you.

Here is a poem that might comfort you when you are feeling blue. It's a message that death is just a transition. Frank is still with you always in many different ways and forms. This poem is for anyone who has felt loss...and needs some comfort... It comforts me. And when I feel the wind on my cheek or the sun on my face, I know my lost loved-ones are with me.

Do Not Stand at my Grave and Weep

Do not stand at my grave and weep,
I am not there, I do not sleep.

I am a thousand winds that blow.
I am the diamond glint on snow.
I am the sunlight on ripened grain.
I am the gentle autumn rain.

When you wake in the morning hush,
I am the swift, uplifting rush
Of quiet birds in circling flight.
I am the soft starlight at night

Do not stand at my grave and weep.
I am not there, I do not sleep.
Do not stand at my grave and cry.
I am not there, I did not die!
...by Mary Frye
[Edited 6/13/06 19:45pm]

Romera said:

You just made me tear up. When this song first came out, Velvet Rope, I heard it and weeped. I had two friends that I knew were HIV+ and I was worried about them. One of them is gone, John, the other is thriving!!!

Thank you for posting this. My favorite part is also the part that makes me lose it.

I can't wait for you to wrap your wings around me baby
Oooh wrap them around me baby

xxoo
M

IrresistibleB1tch said:

RIGHT BACK ATCHA!!!

m

FuNkeNsteiN said:

A little sad but this thread and you all have helped me through it.


M

sag10 said:

Thank you sag10. God, the memories. 26 years of 'em. I want to document all the silly little things that have happened. I'll post more.

I kind of feel selfish because this thread is really more for me than him.


M.

HereToRockYourWorld said:

Thank you sweety!!!!!

xo

M

XxAxX said:

A fragrant bouquet back at ya.

M

emm said:

You are too kind. Believe me, I have my bad days.

xo
M

ZombieKitten said:

Thanks Charl!!! Yeah, we talk about him a lot. He is definately still with us.

M

Isel said:

Thank you for this beautiful poem!

I do feel him around. Maybe that's why I've been thinking about him lately. I've heard stories of people that forget that their loved one is gone and they pick up the phone to tell them something. I always thought. What? No way. How can you forget? BUT, it's happened to me. A joke, a movie, a stupid commercial, is sometimes wasted because I can't share it with him.

xxoo
M

Another thing that was cool when we were growing up was that he was always very popular. He became a DJ at about 18 years of age. He became a local celebrity. He kepts his friends close though. He found lots of fake friends. The thing is he knew it, so he was never crushed.

I remember driving, I always drove, to San Francisco to go dancing. He would have to sit really low so that his mohawk wouldn't flop. 'Cause when it flopped, it was not pretty (Depeche Mode concert late 80's).

When we got to the club there was usually a line out around the block. We would never have to wait.


M

MIGUELGOMEZ said:

I like to think that when you get that feeling, that connection to a loved one that is no longer here, that's when their spirit is reaching out to you. Happened to me today...my dad used to always call me to wish me a happy birthday on his lunch hour...i had to remind myself that he wasn't going to call, but I felt him here just the same.
You're so lucky to have such great memories and you are a sweet and wonderful man.

Samaar said:

It's nice when parents come and say hi. I don't feel my mom around anymore that much. I guess she knows I'm okay now so she doesn't feel the need.

M

This certainly is NOT a depressing thread. I am really touched by it, but in a beautiful way. Thank you for extending your love and the memory of Francisco into our lives.

Did he ever find out why he wanted to beat you up?

I believe in what Samaar said. When you are thinking of someone who has passed I believe that they are close by. When they first pass over you are thinking of them all the time. Then later, when they pop into your head they are checking up on you. If you think about them often they are there to help you through a difficult time.

True friends never die.

HamsterHuey said:

Thanks Gooey!!!

Frank used to have his evil streaks. That is why he wanted to beat me up. I remember we started talking about comic books and that's how it started. He said he didn't like my "look". I was still finding out who I was. We spent a lot of time together from that day on. We later found out that every single person we hung out with was gay. There was about 8 of us. Girls and boys. But nobody talked about it until high school when we all got seperated. I had to draaaaag Frank out of the closet at 17 years of age. That night he confessed his secret love. He was in love with this guy named ELVIS. Yes, Elvis. I kid you not, we talked from 8pm until 4am.


M

MIGUELGOMEZ said:

Did he have greasy hair?

But that's a kewl story right there, mr. I love it how people get together by chance and create a life-long bond that does not diminish after death.

You are a wonderful man, Miguel.

I don't find this thread depressing at all; it's just one more reminder of why we're all lucky to know you and a celebration of what sounds like a terrific friendship.

I remember you mentioning Francisco on another thread a while back - he must have been a great guy. Reading this thread, I can just imagine you two together - I bet it was a blast. Friends like that... you can't buy 'em.

Big hug to you, M. ---->

Ax