Okay, so every time I'm in a bar I overhear a lady or a group of ladies talking about how nice my ass is. Fine, the Captain acknowledges the compliment even if I know for a fact they will be much more impressed with what's in the front. The question I have is this. I have a nice ass, so what. What the hell is a lady going to do to or for it? They might as well be complimenting me on my nipples or my adam's apple. What is a woman going to do to the Captain's posterior that makes any sort of compliment neccessary?

Now if a gay guy looks at my ass and thinks it's nice, well then that is a compliment because the buttocks in question could hypothetically play a role in a sexual act. But a lady commenting on how nice a guy's ass is arbitrary and pointless.

The Captain appreciates any comments you would like to provide on this important issue.

Women love men with a nice ass because not only does it make for delightful eye candy while clothed, or standing at attention on the way to the shower, but it also gives us something nice and firm to grasp onto in the throes of passion!





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[Edited 6/18/06 18:33pm]

Mazurack said:

Chicks like to grab your ass when you're givin' it to 'em.

For gripping, admiring & occassional kissing... DUH

CalhounSq said:

ass kisser

Mazurack said:

Something to grasp onto? What the heck are love handles for then?

CalhounSq said:

Ass-kissing usually causes a great deal extra so I'm not so much into that.

CaptainChaos said:

Oh my, Captain. So naive and innocent still on these matters.

You said "probing"....heh.....heh heh

CalhounSq said:

Novabreaker said:

Well, only if he wanted it

CaptainChaos said:

Depends on the position...

CalhounSq said:

CHIC0 said:

You forgot "biter" & "licker"

In your case,Captn, you don't have to be a woman or a gay man to admire your rear masterpiece

Novabreaker said:

It's not so much naivte. I just don't understand how everybody here has time to grab asses and whatnot. I mean we're talking 20 or 30 seconds tops for intercourse right? Isn't that standard?

PANDURITO said:

I knew that picture would come back to haunt me...
[Edited 6/19/06 6:00am]

CalhounSq said:

The position is generally in the car against the steering wheel. It is cheaper than taking my ladies back to hotels.

Perhaps they'd like to ride a banana into your ass....

Nice ass'es are important Not pointless! We like to have something to look at too!

susannah said:

I guess the thing is that since, generally speaking, females are not going to be actively involved in including said posterior into sexual play (other than allegedly grabbing it) admiring it is the same as admiring hair color or nice ears. Sure the ladies need something to look at and the Captain provides loads of eye candy. But just the way that ladies lustily say it, about the Captain especially.

Sample conversation concerning my ass (overheard):

Lady 1: Look at that hot stud over there in the captain's hat. Is he hot or what?

Lady 2: Oh yeah, I could definitely have me some of that. I mean look at THAT ASS!

Lady 1: Oooooh yeah...I could iron my clothes on that ass. That is ONE SEXY ASS!

Lady 2: Yeah, I could eat lunch off of it. I mean it is perfect in demension, shape, and proportion. Can someone say "yummy ass sandwich"?

(Ladies high five one another)

Lady 1: Yeah, his ass is ASS-tronomical. They should do scientific studies. They should calibrate clocks in Switzerland off his delicious ass.

Lady 2: If I could, I would live in his ass, nest there, raise my young in that YUMMY YUMMY ASS.

Lady 1: You're telling me! You want to tag-team him for a night of delicious three-way pleasure...you, me, and that ASS!

Lady 2: My loins will lead us to his promise land. Let's go!


If I had a dime, for every time I have overheard this exact conversation, I would be an even richer man.

purplerein said:

I'm both aroused and hungry at the thought.

CaptainChaos said:

Okay, it's quite possible that I may have misheard the part about the lady wanting to live inside my ass but the rest is completely true.

PANDURITO said:

OMG, that pic is SO wrong

CalhounSq said:

Catalonia is NOT a nation

PANDURITO said: