minneapolisgenius said:

i never turn on my yahoo messenger. i hate being tethered to something like a phone or my computer because someone is depending on my response. i dig conversations in person, otherwise i prefer interacting on my own sweet time, and letting the other person do the same.

Heiress said:

i think of myself as more of a luddite shut-in than as mysterious or inaccessible. i'd rather spend a week putting a care package together for someone than spend three hours talking to them on the phone. but i'd rather hang out in person with them than do either of those things.

Anx said:

I wish some of my mates understood that! (And this affects no-one on the Org, honestly ).

If you're my mate, you're a mate for life. I may see you 3 times a week, 3 times a month or 3 times a year. You may see me 3 times a decade! But we're mates and that's the important bit. I'm not gonna change my opinion on people based on how often I see/speak to them. But... I do have to make sure I don't drop off the radar, sometimes. My friends get used to it but maybe it's not fair on them. I'm lucky they're so tolerant.

But my friends mean everything to me. Just some people need more reassurance, I guess.

onenitealone said:

we all know the people who call us every five or six months and go

"you know, i thought it was time to call you again because
you never call me. lol. so you wanna go hang out tomorrow?"

and you go "oh wait, let me see, i think i had this thing
going on tomorrow.. *rustles papers*, no, yeah, there it is
sorry can't hook up. let me call you back later".

IstenSzek said:

I'm not one of those though, honestly.

I value and love my mates more than anything, believe me. And they know that. I wish I hadn't said anything in a way because - if I say too little - it can be misinterpreted and - if I say too much - well, it's all out there, isn't it?

If I can say this without sounding too arrogant, I have a lot of friends and it can be difficult to keep in touch with everybody. I have a core group I see quite often then a lot of people - who I'm very close to - but see less often. And it can be quite difficult to keep in touch.

Some people totally understand that and know that - when I get in touch - it's because I truly want to, not because I feel obligated. Then there are those who are a bit more 'sensitive' about it so you have to adapt your approach. But that's just human relationships, isn't it? Give and take. It's not like I'm some mysterious figure who goes trotting off into the sunset. And, of course, the '3 times a year/decade' thing is in jest.

If you become my friend, you know it.

I already feel like I've probably said too much so - for the second time today - I'll leave it there.

onenitealone said:

yeah i understand what you mean completely. it took me a long time
to get it into everyone's head that i'm just very bussy and if i'm
not calling every week or even every month it doesn't mean i forgot
about people it just means we will hook up again but just not now.

finally, as we're getting a bit older, most of my close friends and
especially the acquaintances have the same things going on in their
own lives that consume more time and require them to see people at
a less frequent interval which doesn't mean they value each other a
single bit less than before.

IstenSzek said:

Exactly.

That's just all part and parcel of growing up, getting older...

I have school friends who I'm still very friendly with and see occasionally. None of them I treat any differently and - the minute I see them - it's like I only saw them yesterday. But one, in particular, can get quite annoyed if I don't seem him on a regular basis; another is so laid back, he's horizontal.

Funnily enough, it's the one who's laid back that understands we've both got things going on in our lives; work, houses, other friends, life in general. We just learn to appreciate the time we have together. And I would die for that guy. The other seems to think we're still in school and we can just meet down the park, with a few bottles of cider and away we go. It's not always that easy. But he knows I love him and that's what matters. It's just LIFE that gets in the way.


I'm glad you understand.

Anx said:

oh, i don't MEAN to be mysterious and inaccessible, darlink, i just AM...

I'm not much of a lurker. I did make the mistake of going into Prince-Music Forum.....good Gawd. The children on there have lots to learn.....

M