Supa's thread got me thinking...what is the deal with someone, while on your first date, making plans for your second date and then never calling again?

That happened to me before and I still can't understand what the deal was.

i think it's probably a passive-aggressive thing where they're afraid of offending the other person by not wanting to talk about a second date. of course, it works both ways - i learned not to be so presumptuous as to start planning the second date during the first one. it's always good to leave the first date on an even keel.

I don't think that's ever happened to me. But yes, that's lame. Dreadfully impolite.
Then again, its also a clue, no point seeing that person again anyway.
[Edited 6/13/06 13:51pm]

applekisses said:

Lots of guys are pussies that fear confrontation and have a horrible habit of saying what they think the girl wants to hear instead of just telling the truth.

applekisses said:

It's a psychological test to see if you think they are wonderful or just blah.

MickG said:

Yeah, but I showed interest and I never heard from him again. I think it may be more of the thing Erin and Anx were talking about.

applekisses said:

Tell me about it. Second dates can be trickier than firsts.

Anx said:

Where are you when I fuck things up? I need a computerized version of you in my car or something to dispense advice.

JustErin said:

Bravo...in all regards, not just the dating thing...honesty is always the best policy...

Apple, I just don't get it...any guy would be lucky to be out on a date with you.

That being said, I confess I used to do that. Why?..I'm not sure, although perhaps it was related to my not wanting to hurt the girls feelings, by NOT asking for a second date...the goodnights (I perceived) would be akward if it was left, "well thanks for a good time...goodbye"....as opposed to, "Well I had a great time, can I call you again"...the latter sounded much better to me, although you make me feel bad now, for those girls whom I didn't call..does any of that make sense?

purplerein said:

Aww...thanks, sweetie
Well...what your saying is what I thought was happening...but, this guy actually asked me what I wanted to do on our second date...gave me a few options...talked about what day of the week it would be, etc, etc, etc...

And, really, guys should feel bad for doing what you did. You have no idea how something that makes YOU feel better ends up confusing and disapointing another.

purplerein said:

I totally understand, but at the same time, thanks and goodnight is EXACTLY what I say when I know I don't want another date. Why is that so hard?

CarrieMpls said:

Exactly.

CarrieMpls said:

Know what Carrie..?...Apple?...it could be a way of the guy...checking to make sure you liked THEM...i.e...."I didn't have a good time, but did she like me?"...as a way to reassure themselves that they're likeable.
As far as Apple's date asking what day is good, what would she like to do...some guys just can't help themselves...she's better off without him

purplerein said:

What do you mean? All they need to do is shut the heck up.

applekisses said:

totally.

eh. Dating is awful anyway. I hate 'dates'. I never do them.

No wonder I'm single.

I almost never call for second date cuz of my paranoia.

I think I read too much into the first one.

Whenever she says, "Don't ever call me again, you twisted perv!!", I always take it literally.

Illustrator said:

CarrieMpls said:

that being said, how about we go to the movies saturday, then out for some dinner. Then, on Sunday, I can take you to the lake and pack a picnic lunch for us...on Monday, I'll cook you dinner. Tues, we'll go to a comedy club. There's a new exhibit at the musuem I'd love to show you on thursday...what do you think?

purplerein said:

Is this where I get the clue you're not actually going to call?

purplerein said:

And now you'll never call her again, right?

applekisses said:

Well..um..I got called back for overtime at work..and then I lost the phone number...I hung around the place we went for dinner...and you never showed up..didn't you get the note I wrote on a napkin and tucked into your mailbox?

"Now I have changed my mind"

Novabreaker said:

Well...that's great and all...but, let the other person know, I say.

applekisses said:

It really doesn't usually work both ways. Sometimes the man just wants to be the asshole first before the woman gets her chance to do it.

when I was dating, to me...a third date meant the beginning of a relationship, with thoughts of exclusivity popping into mind. So the second date, was a very important one

Novabreaker said:

Maybe the man is going thru a curious phase & just wants to....oh wait.....
Damn! I'm misreading everything today.

kidelrich said:

i could do a jambi head kind of thing, like from pee wee's playhouse. "date? did someone say....DATE?"

Well, maybe so, I have found I am uncommonly man.

The last second date I was on was in Nov/Dec 1990....

applekisses said:

Have you ruled-out death?