I am a vain and miserable creature, clinging desperately to anything that catches my attention for but a flash of a second, before trotting down a stones throw towards some other stupid and pointless idol impression. Over the course of the last two years, I’ve gone from being happily involved ,with woman not unlike myself, sans an actual soul and common decency ( a delusional contentment brought on by overindulging in my own charm and my fascination with pretty trinkets, I assure you), to being virtually alone to walk into darkened pubs filled with insensible and indifferent, yet oddly desperate social vampires.
You see, Tampa, when dressed up for her various orgies and parades, teams with the most beautiful bodies clad in low hip designer jeans and the sweet smell of tanning oil, all beautiful moving mannequins hollowed out without souls. Whether it’s the Castle on Mondays, the Blue Martini on Tuesdays, or The Green Iguana on Thursdays, she offers up the vainest beauties a man could ask for—little peacocks with bird sized brains, and ear piercing squawks. The little bits of charm it once so intoxicating to me, now smells stale, or just reeks like putrid flesh. It took a trip out to the city for me to realize all the time I waste. And I must make up for some of it.

I realize I compromise my own life when my thoughts dwell in this fetid bog my imagination has turned out to be. Everything an obstacle, every joy but a segue to some taxing event, I go through my days expecting conflict—indeed almost seeking it; however, dreading it all the same. I hate to argue. I hate to see things in a negative light. But my motivations as of late have been based on the need to sustain my comfort zone. This very zone requires me to be miserable in order to accomplish anything.
Of course, I blame some of it on my past. Having been past over for various promotions, both in the Military, and in the civilian market, I’ve come to realize that my fun loving persona I originally employed in the early part of my career gave me a youthful appearance, detracting from my ability to actually progress of the chain of command. People simply did not take me serious. So, my strategy changed, and I went to college and then got a Masters degree. I stupid my job to the point that I am an expert at whatever I do, and have garnered respect amongst my peers. But this has gotten me little more than requests to back my every one of my peers up when they take vacations. It certainly has not seen me a promotion this year. And I deserved it.
But the issue is not my boss, nor those that I work with. The issue is my frame of mind. I am not seeing the world as a vehicle for my successes, but as an untamed place that at ever turn presents the horrible of creatures to spring forth and seek to kill me. As Perry Ferrel once said, “All of God’s creatures are capably murderous”, and I feel this in my marrow every day of my life.
It’s time to change. None of this helps. None of it assists me.
As such, I feel that it is time to announce (once again) a leave of absence from the org for me to finally concentrate on where I want to be. Where I want to go. Who I want to be, and how I want to live. At present time, I am tapped. I want to feel my youthful vigor again.

I understand these messages annoy a lot of you, and I understand that my friends here feel a certain fatigue at my online melodrama (LOL), but I have come to expect that.
I love a whole lot of you, too many to mention, and will miss you for the time being.

I won’t bother to delete this account since I don’t plan on taking a permanent vacation.

And finally, I really thank so many of you for having entertained me, spoken with me, exchanged your problems and concerns with me. In some perverse way it’s helped to fill the void to some extent.

--donk out.

Oh geez no more in the chat?

You owe me $50

ZombieKitten said:

Ok! You owe me $50

hope all goes well for you.

and thanks for not deleting this account. i have too many "account deleted"s on my buddy list as it is!!

althom said:

I do?

ZombieKitten said:

Yes?

fantasyislander said:

if you delete him now, you won't have that problem I am going to in a minute

Imago said:

So basically you couldn't finish The Count of Monte Cristo?

Fauxie already posted a serious thread, stop biting his style

you've been unsettled for quite some time... i hope you find the clarity you are looking for
(even though you didn't respond to my kayak yahoo )


you are loved for more than your laughs dan

If I tell you I'll miss your balls, will you stay?








Good luck, you. Sounds like a nice needed break.

I KNEW this thread would bomb!

best of luck with everything dude

Work it out Cheeky.
We'll be waiting.

do it and do it right. go find your joy.

We'll still be here when you return

Hope you get everything that you desire.

The Org will be here when you're ready to come back I'll miss you, dummy Love you.

And is THIS the avatar you're leaving us with?

U

all the answers you seek are inside your heart


getting the clutter and negitive vibes outta the way to see/hear them is the hard part

you're all a bunch of tree hugging hippies

I don't know where I'm goin
but I sure know where I've been
hanging on the promises in songs of yesterday.
An' I've made up my mind, I ain't wasting no more time
but here I go again, here I go again.

Tho' I keep searching for an answer
I never seem to find what I'm looking for.
Oh Lord, I pray you give me strength to carry on
'cos I know what it means to walk along the lonely street of dreams.

Here I go again on my own
goin' down the only road I've ever known.
Like a drifter I was born to walk alone.
An' I've made up my mind, I ain't wasting no more time.

Just another heart in need of rescue
waiting on love's sweet charity
an' I'm gonna hold on for the rest of my days
'cos I know what it means to walk along the lonely street of dreams.

Here I go again on my own
goin' down the only road I've ever known.
Like a hobo I was born to walk alone.
An' I've made up my mind, I ain't wasting no more time
but here I go again, here I go again,
here I go again, here I go.

An' I've made up my mind, I ain't wasting no more time.

Here I go again on my own
goin' down the only road I've ever known.
Like a drifter I was born to walk alone
'cos I know what it means to walk along the lonely street of dreams.

Here I go again on my own
goin' down the only road I've ever known.
Like a drifter I was born to walk alone.
An' I've made up my mind, I ain't wasting no more time
but here I go again, here I go again,
here I go again, here I go,
here I go again

See you later

i had to read all that just to find out you're leaving the org?

i feel cheated - i'll never get those 45 seconds back!





i hope you sort out what you're wanting to sort out.

P.S. Take fauxie with you!!