onenitealone said:

Wow, you're not Imago, JerseyKRS or a hot female I'm going to say something sappy to, yet here I am responding to your post. Ok, let me read it first. Alright, it seems overwhelmingly positive. Yep, it's positive in its entirety. Let me prepare my emoticons.

Thank you so much. 'onenitealone', you truly are a superstar.

But seriously, I read your post from start to middle.

Fauxie said:

I'm so THai my farts smell like Som Tum!




I love you too

jerseykrs said:

Dude, don't people normally open a new account for that kind of fake ass shit?

Imago said:

Somchai, sweetie, a Thai would've written som tam.

I forgive you. You had me at 'where's the bathroom?'

Fauxie said:

No, I'm not a 'hot female' or a superstar either but I appreciate your comments, Nick. And you can call me 'Alun', too.

But I hope this sorts itself out, mate. It must be very difficult not to respond in this situation, especially when it's someone so young involved. Everyone deserves the best start and chances in life. But that's exactly why Golf is very, very lucky to have you looking out for him. Org medal goes to you today.

That is what happens when you end up having a kid when you you weren't planning on it and did not want one. It's too bad.

onenitealone said:

Seriously now, thank you for even taking the time, and thank you for making me feel better. It is a tricky situation, but since marrying my wife all I've had is tricky situations, if I'm honest. I've tried to take them in my stride and I think, on the whole, I've done the right thing. I've made my own personal situation harder in the process, but I've tried to think about the people that have done right by me, which means my mother in law, as well as those who are vulnerable such as my nephew Golf, and tried to do all I can for them. If it feels like the right thing to do, I've done it. I've had love and support from some quarters of this family and this is a family effort. I hope things will turn out well for everyone concerned, but most importantly for little nong Golf. I'll do what I can to make that happen.

...
[Edited 6/8/06 7:54am]

he's adorable.

Fauxie, He's a beautiful boy and by the way you describe how he comes running to you, he knows he's loved and whos there for him, as long as you let him know that you are there no matter where life takes him, and Mon & you, he will know he can always turn to you guys for the love, support and guidance he may seek.

Fauxie said:

I admire your desire to be there for your brother-in-law... and the whole family, it seems! Stay strong.

as long as he is loved he will be fine

He's a cutie!
All you can do is let Tik know that you'll always be there for her and Golf.
Maybe Mon can have a heart to heart talk with her. Let her know she can rely on her boyfriend so she needs to start relying on herself.

I it's sad when a man doesn't take care of his own child, but there's really nothing you can do to change him. He has to wake up and change himself.

uan must earn golf's affection...
it's not impossible - the boy is young
uan needs time alone with him where he is the sole caretaker
fun things and play time, bath time and story time

golf loves you because he knows and trusts you and because you have been his caretaker
don't ever stop showing him that affection
but you can encourage uan to become a more integral part of golf's life
perhaps start out doing things together? just the three of you boys?
then leave them to it

glad the boy is back even for a little while nick...
i know how much you missed him

oh my god what a sweetie Men neglecting their children sucks so bad

He is sooo cute.

It's unfortunate about his father. At least he has lots of other people around that love him. I don't think he's lacking in anything because his father doesn't take to him. It's too bad though.


M

Thanks everyone! I spoke with Mon about it and we're going to do our best to persuade Tik to stay here for a while. We'll tell her that Golf needs some time with his father. Then I guess it'll be up to me in my broken Thai to talk to Uan (he and Mon have always fought like cats and dogs). From posts here it's obvious we need to keep being there for Golf and keep giving him love, but I'm going to try my best to maybe make Uan feel more welcome in our room, ask him to come in to play ps2 or something. Golf loves to come in our room so maybe we can get them both in here and they can mess about on the playstation (something Golf loves to do). I think I'll ask Uan when his day off is and then arrange a family night where we have a barbecue, drink beer or soda and talk as a family. It's been a while since the last one.

Again, thanks for the responses, all of them. I've taken them all into account and they've been very useful.

personally, it kills me they called the kid, "golf".

totally j/k

i feel sorry for the kid..




.
[Edited 6/8/06 18:42pm]

jerseykrs said:

Yeah!!! I love the new improved version of the old Jersey!!

JPW said:

Thais and their nicknames. It's not like they even like the sport either.

He's beautiful, and lucky to have you and your wife.

HereToRockYourWorld said:

Isn't he! And he has the sweetest nature, hardly ever cries or gets upset. He's so affectionate. He's a great little dancer too, be it Thai dance or bopping away to Prince or Stevie Wonder.

My other nephew came to stay for a couple of days last month. We only get to see him a few times a year as he stays with his mum and grandma a few hours from here. His dad lives here with us, bed-ridden and paralysed, taken care of by us and his parents. This family, I tell ya. I didn't know anything about real life until I moved here. Anyway, here's K:

Fauxie said:

I had to leave the office last night, sorry, so I didn't have chance to respond...


I was thinking about this on the way home. Even though we've never properly interacted before, Nick, it's amazing how the Org infiltrates our lives. There are so many people here who I've never Orgnoted, maybe not even made a reply on a thread to, but I see all you guys here every day and I really feel like you're all part of some extended family.

I also noticed your comments on another thread about how you'd like to keep in touch with so many Orgers but find it difficult sometimes. I totally relate to that ; I'm in a very similar situation, what with only getting access at work.

The reason I say that is because - even though we don't know each other - I've noticed your posts previously and seen what you've had to put up with over the last few years. And I have total respect and admiration for what you've done and how you deal with things. I know things have been difficult but I don't think there are many people who would travel so far across the world and take on so many responsiblities, with such a mature attitude. It amazes me. I know I couldn't do it. And this is just one more reason as to why Mon's family - and Golf - are very lucky to have you. I think you're an old school gentleman, and I mean that as a compliment.

You are the superstar, Nick, I can assure you.

I'm glad you're feeling a bit better about things; the family barbeque idea is a great one. Good luck!

All the best, mate; I hope things work out well.

Spats said:

actually yes, this is not good.

onenitealone said:

Wow. Thank you! That certainly makes me feel good about my situation here and what I try to do, and I'd be lying if I said I didn't need that from time to time. I sometimes feel like I'm taken for granted in this house by some (by my brother in law and his gf in particular), and I'm only human after all. Yeah, it has been tough, but I've surprised myself at how I've taken it in my stride. Mon's mother had a stroke, her father had an industrial accident and couldn't work anymore, her older brother was in a car accident and was paralysed, her younger brother is a bit of an idiot ( ), but despite all the bad luck this family seems to have had, there's still that spirit there. Mon and I could've moved out a long time ago, as my best friend (and former brother in law - he has since divorced Mon's sister) did, but when things have been tough for me, Mon's parents have always done everything they could to help me. That spirit and the good times we do have as a family is what keeps me here. It's very different to life as a middle class English guy living in the UK, but it's home now and I love my second family so much. I am now responsible for all of them, ultimately, but to say only that would suggest that I get nothing in return, which is not true. My mother in law is the most incredible person I've ever met. She has nothing, not even her health, and yet takes care of me in a way my own mother would surely be very thankful for. I always wanted only an interesting, challenging life with people to love and to love me and that's what I have. I wouldn't change a thing. Thank you for your kind words. Perhaps this thread comes across a little as self-indulgence or as a tendentious effort to elicit praise for myself, but as I said, I'm only human, and I felt like I needed to share how I felt and see if I could get some feedback from this community. Again, thank you. This is not a tragedy in any way, it's a story of a family that will ultimately pull together and triumph over adversity thanks to an incredible spirit. I just need to keep things going every day to make that happen.

You're a good person, fauxie. I admire you. I've really enjoyed reading through this.

ZombieKitten said:

Indeed, but we shouldn't judge. Mon's brother is the same age as me, only a few months younger. He was compulsorily drafted into the army at 19, beaten within an inch of his life, deserting several times, finally leaving the army in his early 20's feeling pretty disallusioned with life. Thais aren't taught about contraception as well as they might be. He had several girlfriends after that, and got this young girl pregnant after they'd only been together for 6 months or so. They hadn't been together long enough for them to know if they wanted to be life partners, but they had the baby and he worked hard to provide for his family. It just seems that while he loves her, he doesn't love her in the way he should a life partner. For example, she's not as attractive as some of his earlier girlfriends and I think this is a factor. He's considered quite a handsome Thai guy and his wife has gotten much fatter since she had nong Golf. I think his friends may have made things worse with their comments too. Ultimately, they were just boyfriend and girlfriend for a few months and weren't ready to commit to each other, as they wouldn't have expected to have to were it not for the baby. I believe he may be cheating on her now. I just hope he can do right by his child, no matter what happens with him and his girlfriend. Things aren't easy for a young Thai man trying to support a wife and child. A typical Thai wage is not really enough to live on in such circumstances. He has a lot to think about for a young man and it can't be easy. I hope I'm not out of line in posting their pics here.

CarrieMpls said:

Thanks. I appreciate your comment as I do all of them, though I must confess I think I may just need the chance to write things out in order to understand them better. I hope that's not too self-indulgent or selfish, but I do truly appreciate being able to get it out there and hear other perspectives. Tik has now said she will stay here with Golf for a month. I believe Uan's day off is monday so I will arrange a big barbeque that day and see if we can't all have a good time. I don't know where Uan is right now though. I think he finished work earlier today, but maybe he's staying at a friend's place.

This thread has given me a warm feeling inside. No joke.



M