I **HATE** when people want me to do some kind of work, and start off by saying, "so do you want to...." - as in, "Do you want to take this huge stack of work and file it?"

Well, no. I don't "want" to. Since I'm on the clock, I'd be happy to take on the responsibility, but I *want* to go to Iceland. I *want* to publish a 'zine. I do NOT *want* to file nasty old files.

I know it's all semantics, but it bugs the crap out of me. Anyone else have a semantic bugbear like this?

do you want to stop moaning now?

thanx

Is this a gay innuendo?

Spookymuffin said:

it's about as blunt as burning people at the stake

and then they end the question with a smile as if they just know you'd be delighted-deep down lol!

IstenSzek said:

I narrowly avoided a burning once after I left the house in makeup and rainbow-coloured leg-warmers.

Spookymuffin said:

No that would be "Do you want to scrub out MY trash can."


M

Spookymuffin said:

M

Spookymuffin said:

around here i they would burn you for NOT leaving the house in such

IstenSzek said:

actually, i do want to stop moaning. unfortunately, your org account is still active.

Anx said:

do you want me to delete my account?

Anx said:

remember the movie "office space"? my boss made a real point out of making sure i watched it. THEN started assigning me work by using the phrase: "why don't you just go ahead and....."

XxAxX said:

oooh. i had an ex-stepfather who was a total taskmaster fuckwad and he'd always order me around with that phrase. "why don't you go ahead and mow the lawn now."

it's just that fucking implication of entitlement to my subordination that completely GRIPES MY ASS.

anyway. my mom divorced his ass and she told me to go ahead and help her throw all his stuff on the lawn, which oddly enough didn't sound like such a bad order.

at this thread

I have a friend who would say, "You want to do something fun?" and then it would be something like help me build a garage in the winter time or acid wash some brick wall. Needless to say, we're really not friends anymore. It was a one-sided friendship where I helped him do the fun things and he just took the help.

Slave2daGroove said:

people have the most passive aggressive way of weaseling labor out of other people. i try to just be blunt. "look, i need help with this. can ya do it? cuz if not, i need to find someone else who can." none of this "do you want" or "let's be a team" crap. sheesh. i hate that shit.

i always tell people no when they phrase an order like that.

when i worked in the animal hospital people used to ask me, "do you want to set up this fecal?"

and i would say, "no." and go about my business.

if someone then said, "please set up this fecal."

i would say, "okay." and go and do it.

if you're going to tell someone to do something, then tell them! you can do it nicely without making it a question.

JasmineFire said:

"set up this fecal" makes building a garage in winter look like walk in the park.

Yeah, don't ask, be direct and say what Anx said, help me or I'm going to have to find someone who will

Anx said:

It is a lousy way 2 phrase it, especially when it's an unenviable task. But the best thing is 2 remember it's likely meant as "R U willing 2 take on this particular task as part of our work" and of course 2 give the requisite smart-a** reply.

actually, i kinda DO want to mow a lawn. i haven't done that in years, and i think as an adult, i'd find it really meditative.

so if you live in chicago and want your lawn mowed, hit me up. you can even say "ya wanna go ahead and mow my lawn?" and i won't mind.

and NO, i'm not doing it for FREE! i'm just sayin'...

My mom used to do that. But her thing was, "I was gonna let you do my hair." or "I was gonna let you take me to the bank."

You were gonna LET me?! bah!

when my husband wants me to get something for him he either says "can I get some cutlery?" (to which I often answer "be my guest") or "pass me the cutlery" when I am further away from it than he is, to which he usually just gets a glare.

Slave2daGroove said:

yeah, we would have to run fecal exams to see if the animals had any parasites going on...they were pretty disgusting and my diva-ish self thought that they were below me. i still do.

Anx said:

i miss mowing the lawn.