Without going into nasty details, my love life has always been a train wreck. I have only ever been stabbed in the heart by the people I have loved. Sometimes it is so discouraging to me, because love is so important to me.

I'm not really looking for sympathy or advice, just want to get that off my chest. has anyone out there really suffered for love and eventually found the real deal? Today I feel like it's never really going to happen for me

SupaFunkyOrgangrinderSexy said:

What a horrible thing to feel.

I assure you that you will find exactly what you are looking for in due time. You just need to always remind yourself that you are worth getting eveything you want and that you should never settle for anything less.

SupaFunkyOrgangrinderSexy said:

its out there for you baby promise. just wait a while that's all, he's coming

JustErin said:

today my feelings are very very dark on the subject. I truly feel depressed right now. I know my worth and really I am working my way to being whole, but I'm not there yet. I just know who I am and what I do for my partners and I always feel alone even when I'm with someone. I recently had confirmation about some things I knew were going on behind my back and even though I had come to terms with them it still tore my heart out to hear it.

SupaFunkyOrgangrinderSexy said:

Supa, it will happen for you, I know it. You are full of love and one day you will get it all back tenfold. Be patient and continue to be the loving person you are.

Before I met my husband I dated older guys who only used me for sex and other things. Some were abusive and others were just stupid assholes. When I finally got the nerve to move away from the older, bad boy types, I was able to find the greatest guy ever and we've been married for almost 18 years.

I believe in love and I believe there is a true love for everyone. I hope you find yours.

Supa, you know that old saying when the student is ready the teacher will come.

The same applies to love..

Be strong, and never give up hope.

I can totally relate Supa. I feel the same way. I've kind of given in to it. I feel that all I need now are my friends and a bunch of one night stands.

Believe me though, if someone does come along I'm not just going to shut him out. And you shouldn't either. Hear what they have to say.

I feel like I'm getting too old to start all over. I'm not saying that everyone else my age is also. I just feel this to be the case for me.


M

MIGUELGOMEZ said:

Most of the time I can deal with it just fine. I have been alone most of my life. But just sometimes it really gets to me. Today it did.

SupaFunkyOrgangrinderSexy said:

I've had a series of unsuccessful relationships and at one time felt the same way you are feeling now. But I've realized that there are millions of people in this world and there are tons of people who are and will be interested in me. I'm single right now but I have no worries about being alone. I just don't see that happening.

I think this applies to absolutely everyone. People who live alone choose to do so.

You will get thru this.

You are too wonderful, funny, sweet, awesome, hot, etc, etc, etc for you NOT to be snatched up by some amazing guy! It will happen, sweetie...

aww my boys are makin me sad, hang in there sweeties it's coming.

SupaFunkyOrgangrinderSexy said:

i know exactly how you feel. the search is sometimes painful. what comforts me is realizing that finding true love is NOT the only reason for going forward.. there are other, far more important considerations to living life.

love is a luxury, an unexpected reward or chance occurrence, and alas true love is very, very rare.

anyways dollface *i* loves you

i love you


does that help ?

nakedpianoplayer said:

Can I borrow your She-Ra sword?

XxAxX said:[quote]

SupaFunkyOrgangrinderSexy said:

that was nice

SupaFunkyOrgangrinderSexy said:

I have Supa and I am sure you will too, just keep a smile and that special someone will find you soon

Its tough when you have had bad heartbreaks and stuff, I know I have had my share too. Now though, I am so happy and although life is far from perfect, it is still brilliant and I always look forward to going home to my partner and kids.

SupaFunkyOrgangrinderSexy said:

We can be train wrecks together...cause that is what mine is like...always has been and always will be no matter what people see or know. Hell my whole life resembles an atomic bombing. I question people and their motives everyday and I question myself everyday to the point...where I don't 100% believe what someone tells me or what I tell myself or others. I have a nasty habbit of runing away from love, it makes me feel safer. I feel ya bro but don't worry ya always got me and my shoulders are good for leaning and crying on when need be.

Anybody how doesn't see you for the wonderful catch that you are, is a total moron undeserving of your time.

You know, I'm really at this apex right now.....a crossroads of sorts. I have spent the last year and a half experience major personal growth from an article I wrote about my experience with domestic abuse and the last year have been full of losses and tragedies and in my growth I have reached a point of forgiveness and then you add to the mix my cousin's murder and everything that brings. Right now I'm pursuing becoming a counselor for gay youth and hopefully helping in abuse services. My life is leading me in this direction and it just really hurts not to have that someone special to turn to and share all this with. I guess I kind of feel scared because I feel like I'm standing alone in all this, and that is not to discount the strength I draw from my friends. Without them I would truly be sunk It's just that extra thing.....you know?

By the weekend I'll feel fine but for now I guess I just need to cry it out of me

notoriousj said:

Will you run away to the mountains and build a bomb shelter with me?

I feel ya baby!

I'm 31 and have only been in one kind of serious relationship...kind of meaning he was also with someone else...this was back when I was 19, naive, dumb...and he was much older than I. It's a long story but I think ever since I broke it off (2 yrs after)...I have had trust issues with men. Its been 10 years of soul searching and I seriously think sometimes I may never find THE ONE...I've had my share of one night stands in the past and they've just left me feeling empty...I really want to connect with someone too and feel that 'rush' people talk about...but now my social life is in the toilet, I hardly go out (livin' in SoCal is Xpensive! esp when you support yourself!), and my cirlce of friends here is very tiny...most of my best friends live back home (AZ) and I keep telling myself..this should be the time of my life...single, live alone (should move out of OC..not to many gays around where I live..Long Beach maybe? LA? To mellow for LA I think)...fun career (crazy music biz)...and I'm really not enjoying my life much...I've gained a considerable amount of weight (I went from running 5 miles a day to no activity whatsoever but I joined the gym FINALLY ) which I'm ready to put in check...I think in the end..I gotta love myself more and then I think THE ONE will show...I need to trust again but like you I've put my heart and trust in others just to have them stomped on and its a downward spiral from there...for your self esteem/self worth...

sorry for rambling...I think thats the most I've ever shared about myself on the org and I've been around here for years!!!!!

But I feel you completely...you just gotta hang on...if you have love in your heart...someone will find it...and sometimes you just gotta ask yourself...WHERE THE FUCK IS HE??!!!!!

So from me to you... hang in there! It will happen for you!

peace

Ohhh Supa



Dont give up. I promise you it happens when you least expect it. Dont think like that sweetie.

SupaFunkyOrgangrinderSexy said:

supa don't let that shit get to ya. things will get better. it doesn't seem like it now but it will i've suffered for it and it was for all the wrong reasons-reason being is that you shouldn't have to suffer, its not worth it sweetie

You already are...by way too many people and in way too many ways to mention. You know I'm one of them..

When we live and acknowledge that very profound reality, the emotional burden becomes sooo much lighter, my friend...and I don't mean just give it lip service..."Oh, I know I'm loved, yes, but still...", that won't cut it. I mean become almost overwhelmed by the reality of that fact. Romantic love...so very intense and fulfilling, I can't argue that. *smile*...I've been blessed to have experienced that type of love and connection at it's most fulfilling, I'll never deny its effect on my heart or its value to my soul.

Keep acknowledging and valuing all Love that is a part of your world, and you'll attract it tenfold. And truly investigate why you make the romantic choices you do (always a healthy thing to do)...everyone out there isn't a cold, heartless bastard eager to crush someone's heart...if we keep finding the ones who are, though...

after 8 years and counting, hoping to find an equally divided love
where you love each other on an almost equal plateau, i have just
recently decided to give up.

not in a depressed stay at home grumpy way, but i have decided to
not be romantically involved anymore at all for the time being.

the last 8 years i did my best many times and screwed up over and
over again. admitting, most of the time i was the one getting the
sword in my back altho sometimes i think i could have tried a bit
harder. but then, what's the point if you know it's not going to
be anywhere near what you want?

the only constant in all these relationships is that you invest a
lot of time and effort in them only to find yourself thrown back
onto yourself again after a certain amount of time, being still
in exactly the same place you were before the relationship, with
absolutely no progress in your own personal development.

right now i just want to focus on my carreer, my finances, my own
homing situation and my friends. i think it's important that i do
some serious investing in my own progress instead of in any new
kind of relationship that is only going to set me back again.

if and when i will allow someone else into my life again it will
be on either very different terms than it has been up to now or
it will have to be the real deal kinda thing where i will fall so
madly in love with someone that i don't care either way anymore.

but since that hasn't happened to me anymore since 1994, i think
i'll be better off without wasting time on love affairs for now,
and concentrating on me. finally.

Sweetie I know how u feel. It's hard to open yourself up when your heart has been stepped on a lot. Then when u do open yourself up it's hard to trust that it won't happen again. Love is a blessing and a bitch at the same time. But I just try to keep the faith that I will truly be loved one day. It will happen 4 u 2....just wait and see. In the meantime I will give u a hug

I suffer for love every day and I don't feel like I am any closer to it.

Byron said:

See Byron..... I am very concious of the choices that I have made and I am truly trying to heal myself so I can make a change for the better in my future. It is so hard tho And truly, thank God for the love I have among my friends. Without it I would be doomed.

IstenSzek said:

You know, I'm really about in this same place. Sometimes I feel like I am meant to go through this life with just bits and pieces of what it is I want. Maybe I will have to enjoy the happiness that comes when it does and then just learn to enjoy my life otherwise. I'm so confused right now